|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 12:46 pm
Find a lawspeaker, the ruddy lion had said. Find a lawspeaker. Whatever the bloody hell that was. He guessed it was something like the pride's guards or police force or whatever, but if that was the case then what was the lion he'd just fought? Evidently there was more to learn about the pride than the fact that he'd be getting free slaves. No, free thralls to pamper him. The thought brought a smile to his face even though he was beginning to get winded from climbing perpetually up in the direction he'd been pointed after the battle.
"It can't be all uphill," he panted. "This is a mountain or something, so there'll be a flat point and downhill and probably once I get to know the place better I'll find some less steep ways to ascend."
It was true Kjar had not pointed him up an easy path, but that didn't change the fact that Daffyd was in for a rude awakening when he finally got to the stronghold and met his first Stormborn. Well, other than the one he'd fought, who hadn't even had the decency to introduce himself. Not that Daffyd gave two farts what the other lion's name was, but he might need to know it later on, to prove he'd won a fight against him or something.
In the mean time, Daffyd's eyes scanned the land above him, searching for somebody he could send to fetch a lawspeaker. If he was going to have to climb all the way up a gods-damned mountain, he didn't want to have to hunt down a lawspeaker once he reached the top. At last his gaze fell on a lioness with a patterned coat who would suit his purposes by being present and obviously there to make his life easier.
"Hey. Find me a lawspeaker," he called up to her.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 1:22 pm
Naja's life had taken a turn for the worst. It wasn't a turn she'd been expecting, and even after overhearing her grandfather on multiple occasions, she still hadn't completely understood the ramifications of Njal's win. It wasn't until the dust had really, really settled that the truth of the entire challenge had become crystal clear.
Naja would never become a Reaver - and it was highly likely that Thorgrim was going to do his damnedest to wed her off to some stupid Captain.
She'd quickly discovered that 'out of sight, out of mind' was one of her better options, and so Naja had taken to slinking around in places her grandfather would be unlikely to visit. The steep incline that led to the stronghold, for one.
Her ears perked when she heard a male call out.
"Find your own Gods damned lawspeaker. While you're at it, shut your stupid face."
It kind of made her feel better. Why stop there?
"Do I look like a Gods damned thrall to you? By the Stormlord's wretched ballsack, they'll let anyone in here nowadays, won't they? Can't even make it up this tiny hill."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 1:28 pm
"You have the manners of a turd-smeared honey badger," Daffyd observed as he continued to climb. It was a matter of pride not to sound or look as out of breath as he felt. ******** the gods, he was never taking this route ever again. He had been born in the savannah, where this sort of s**t with inclines was nonexistent.
He could tell that he was being insulted, even though much of the insult went over his head. He knew that stupid was always an insult, and that any phrase involving ballsacks was not a cordial welcome.
"Are you even someone who's opinion matters, or are you just a squeaking b***h who's so fond of the sound of her own voice you don't care what spews from your flapping maw, whether it not it makes any sense?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 1:39 pm
"And you are speaking to the granddaughter of a very influential lion, does that answer your poorly phrased question, you rancid ********?"
Wildebeest ********. Nice one, Naja.
"Shall I fetch a healer, too, while I'm at it? Or perhaps a few bigger, stronger male lions to carry your wimpy, weak a** all the way to the top?" Her tone was harsh and condescending, of all things - all males deserved to be promptly castrated, as far as Naja was concerned.
Life wasn't fair.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 1:44 pm
"The granddaughter of an influential lion! Mercy me! You honestly expect me to be impressed because some geriatric with dust on his claws and c**k once had a lucky squirt that later on ended up producing you?" In other words, "Give me a reason to care who you are, saggy gut."
In fact the lioness's gut wasn't the least bit saggy, but he knew lionesses always hated to hear that there was anything less than perfect about their stomachs. He'd never seen why they cared since most lions only have interest in their loins, but whatever.
"You really ought to consider how much longer you're going to hold the high ground," he pointed out as he continued to ascend. "Because once you lose that, your a** is mine."
Not a bad idea, actually. So maybe she wasn't one of those slave-thrall things, and maybe she had an important relative. Didn't change the fact that someone needed to show the woman how to behave toward a man.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 1:56 pm
Saggy gut?
Naja knew for a fact that there was nothing saggy about her gut. Her entire cubhood had been spent moving rocks in hopes of becoming a shifter back in her old pride, and every day since she'd come to this pride, she'd worked her a** off. Staying fit, staying strong. She was strongly muscled and took great pride in her form - so she could only assume that he was trying to hurt her feelings.
It only worked a little.
"I figure I have a week until you finally get up here, you giant p***y. Maybe a week and three days."
Naja narrowed her eyes.
"And I'd love to see you try to follow up on your threats."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 2:11 pm
So she didn't go cringing off into a corner to cry because he'd said she was unattractive. So what? Daffyd had a whole host of insults that he could fall back on if she provoked him sufficiently. There was no need for him to become upset over the failure of one. Becoming annoyed wasn't the same thing as becoming upset though. He could become annoyed with no loss of ******** you, you kaleidoscopic cow. I'll get up there long before you come up with something worth saying," he growled as he pulled himself up and over another rock larger than his torso. This pride had the worst terrain ever. He'd better get a damn thrall that he could send out hunting, or else he would probably starve to death long before he ever dragged his kill home. Assuming he caught anything.
"Would you really? If you ask nicely I might consider it, though you'd have to agree to be silent. I don't think I can stand to listen to you flap your lips too much longer."
Really it was a wonder no one had thrown her off the side of the mountain before now. Maybe she was as important as she claimed to be, and that was why no one had taught her the lessons she so obviously needed to learn. Well, when he got up there to where she was, he'd put the fear of himself in her. And maybe he'd put other things in her, too, if he felt like it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 3:30 pm
Naja took a leap up, widening the distance between herself and the dust-colored lion. It was a pity that everything that came out of his mouth was utterly disgusting, or else he might be the sort of lion she could talk shop with - and he wasn't horrible to look at, either, if she really thought about it.
Not that she really spent a lot of time thinking about it.
At all.
"All I hear is you talking - and it sounds suspiciously like a bloated giraffe fart. So how about you just shut up and keep moving, and get your a** to a lawspeaker the way you were told to."
Naja peered down at him, a curious tilt to her head.
"Who did you thump to win your way in?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 6:22 pm
"If you're sensing giraffe farts, it's probably your own smell you're detecting," Daffyd grunted, heaving himself over another rock and then hopping a little higher. "Is it a Stormborn defense mechanism to not bathe until your stink can knock over elephants with a stiff breeze?"
In response to the first question she asked that was of any apparently worth, Daffyd said, "I don't know the p***k's name. Red mane, tawny pelt. Cheater. Heh. Not that it did him much good."
He smirked, proud of his victory. His opponent had been a big ********. Biggest damn lion Daffyd had ever seen. Probably that piece of information would have been helpful in describing him to the mouthy b***h, but Daffyd was unwilling to admit that he had been impressed by the lion's size. For all he knew, all the lions in this pride were that large.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 8:42 am
"You talk a big game for someone who can't even get up the side of a tiny hill," Naja called to him dismissively. It wasn't until he described a certain brown lion that Naja perked slightly. There were a lot of tawny-pelted lions in the pride - but not many ruddy-maned Reavers. Well.. not many ruddy-maned a*****e Reavers.
"You beat Kjar's a**? Why didn't you say so!"
Her entire demeanor changed, and a bright smile lit her face.
"Come on then, you're nearly to the top. Once you get there, I'll go find a lawspeaker for you. And I'll get you something to eat - but don't think I'm kissing your revolting a**, 'cuz I ain't." She sniffed.
"I'm just glad that you beat Kjar's a** is all."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 9:57 am
"I just fought a battle," Daffyd muttered under his breath, excusing himself for his weariness in climbing based on that evidence. He did not think he'd spoken loudly enough to be heard, but the lioness's sudden change in demeanor startled Daffyd badly enough that he almost lost his footing, which would have made him slide several feet backward.
"The ******** didn't introduce himself. He just threw dirt in my face and thought he'd be able to beat me. Heh. Not so much."
Daffyd was undeniably curious as to what could be between this lioness and the lion he'd beaten to prompt this sort of reaction from her, but he decided it would be better not to ask. He was curious, but he didn't see how it would make a difference to know.
"You could run ahead and get the lawspeaker so I don't have to wait as long at the top," Daffyd pointed out. "Or are you not that glad I beat...Kjar?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 1:39 pm
Naja shot him a withering glare.
"Not that glad," she snorted down at him, her glee dampening just the slightest. "I just don't like him - not many do - and so it is nice to hear that he was trounced."
She ascended a bit more so that she could have a better vantage point as he struggled upward.
"Why did you come here, anyway? To this pride?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 5:15 pm
And now she wanted to hold a conversation with him. Daffyd rolled his eyes and wished that she would just shut up already. There wasn't much that a female could say to hold his interest unless the female in question was offering to sleep with him. But that was the extent of feminine talking that would interest him, and after he accepted the offer he preferred that they don't talk.
"Happy to help, I guess," Daffyd huffed. He hated her for having the energy to bound up the side of the cliffs of insanity. He kept looking up and hoping that she'd hop right off the side and go splat. ******** perky prissy b***h.
"I heard every lion got forty acres and a sex slave," he answered deadpan.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 8:58 pm
Naja gave Daffyd A Look.
"I don't know about forty acres.."
She pranced up a few more large rocks, pausing to glance down at him.
"I'm Naja."
Few more rocks.
"If you keep going at this rate, it might take you more than a week to get up to the top." She gave him a pitying look.
"I guess I could run ahead and get you a lawspeaker. When should I arrange for them to meet you? A week, week and a half?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 9:10 pm
Naja's Look went right over his head. Daffyd didn't usually pick up on subtle cues like that from females. As far as he was concerned, their Looks were all hidden come-hithers and so why bother devoting much thought to them?
"Whenever, sweetie," Daffyd replied. Could she really be leaving? Oh, glory be!
He placed one paw on the next rock and wondered if maybe it wouldn't be easier to follow the exact path she had taken. Probably it would be. Probably she made it look easy because she'd taken an easier path than his, and so it was easier. Well, he wasn't going to wimp out now.
"Just run along, huh?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
