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"Dad?" Bren called into the den, completely uninterested in whether he disturbed anyone else.

The red adolescent strode inside and looked around. He didn't see any of his siblings or his mother, or that other lioness who wasn't his mother and was a completely useless purple sack of skin. He yelled, "Dad!"

Why was no one ever where he wanted them to be? Why was life never simple? Why did the girl he liked seem like she was actively resisting growing up and insisted on behaving like a cub around him? Was she trying to give him a hint that she didn't want to be more than friends? He needed his dad's advice.

He also needed to be taken viking at some point so he could be a real reaver, and he wanted to ask his dad about that, too.

Hinoko had taken to spending as much time away from home as he possibly could. It was getting downright unbearable, and he still hadn't mustered the courage to slap his wife around. Melinoe was a terror. She was big and horrible and frightening, and Hinoko was exhausted every time he was around her. She was a good wife, and kept the den in order, but she took an emotional toll on him that he couldn't stand.

The only time he'd been home lately had been to spend time with Jez - and the only time he could do that was when Mel wasn't home.

Mel was almost always home.

However, today was one of the rare occasions that he'd been able to laze about at home alone - at least until he heard his son calling for him.

"Bren, stop your shouting," the dark lion groused softly, narrowing his eyes as he peered at his oldest son. "What's wrong?"

"Everything!" Bren exclaimed with the sort of utterly sincere melodrama only an adolescent male could conjure up.

He barreled into his dad in an aggressive demand for affection and reassurance that bore a striking resemblance to a charging hippopotamus. He had had an absolutely terrible day. He'd tried to convince Kivi to go looking for some ruins of a pride that used to occupy Stormborn territories and she'd given him this Look.

"Why are girls so confusing?" he complained. "It's really, really not fair. Can't they just be like guys? Straightforward, sensible, and just...ugh!"

He stomped the floor angrily. He wasn't angry at Kivi, or even at girls. Not really. He was more frustrated with his own ignorance.

"When do they start making sense again?"

"Never. They never make sense. Not once in their lives will a female ever make sense to you, son. They are fickle and emotional creatures who can change from one extreme to the next in the blink of an eye. One moment they are affectionate, and the next instant they are shredding your backside while spitting fire."

Hino shook his head and rose to his feet so that he might approach Bren.

"Do not get your hopes up. You are bound to be utterly baffled by them for the rest of your life. I have never met a male who knew all the inner workings of a female's mind. They are simply not built to make sense."

He shook his throat.

"But you can't tell your mother I said that."

"That's stupid. I didn't want to hear that. I thought maybe something clicked when my mane came in or something. But...argh!" Bren was dashed and disappointed and more than that he was dismayed. "So I guess there's not much I can do about that. Sucks."

He flopped onto his side, trying to look confident and awesome despite the fact that he was actually developing a little bit of a gut from overeating. The purple thrall wasn't much of a huntress but Bren was good at getting more than his share of food at mealtime. He jiggled a little bit with hard impacts.

"So, I was wondering if maybe you could take me with you the next time you go on a viking? It'd probably make me look cooler if I were a reaver. You know. To girls and stuff."

"Son, if I could tell you that things got less complicated when you mane grew in, I would. I wish I could. Fact of the matter is, boy, that women are the number one most complicated thing on the planet, and if you are interested in a female, I suggest you only pick one female because, son, getting yourself mixed up with more than one female is going to be the end of you."

He watched his husky son flop on the ground, eyes widening slightly as the youth's body gave a slight jiggle.

"I think we should go on a little viking together, maybe. You and me, and maybe Hans if he wants to come along."

Hans. His younger, slimmer son. Hino narrowed his eyes again at Bren's pudge.

"One. Right. I'll be lucky if I can get any to take an interest in me," Bren muttered. He, too, was not particularly proud of his jiggling flab, but he was just a hungry boy who didn't exercise in proportion to the food he ate. Not his fault at all.

"That'd be cool," Bren agreed. He didn't resent Hans for being slimmer and more fit than he was any more than he resented Cani for being the apple of their mother's eye because she had visions. He knew how horrible Cani's visions could be for her and he didn't want that ability even a little bit.

His female troubles were temporarily forgotten, at any rate, and that was a good thing. Excited and enthused he asked, "When can we go? Can it be soon or to we have to find a captain to go with first?"

Hinoko snorted. The poor boy probably got his girth from his mother. She was a huge lioness, and Hinoko could only hope that he'd grow into his size.

Or something.

"I think since it will be a small thing - a father and his sons - perhaps we will not need a Captain to come with us." Hino narrowed his eyes. "Then again, if you would like to do a proper Viking, son, perhaps we can find a captain to take us.

Hino did not have a band he was faithful to - no alliances or such - so it was not much of an issue to the lion.

Bren wasn't self-conscious about his tendency toward blobbiness. He was certain that once he started viking it would magically solidify into muscle. It was more likely it would just solidify into that weird kind of fat that is hard as muscle but definitely fat and not muscle, but he didn't know that and hadn't considered that and didn't want to consider that because that was a horrible fate.

"Oh, that's okay. I'm happy with just you and some siblings," Bren said.

He was really a pretty easy-going lion when it came down to it and would not have made any difference to him if he never made it beyond being a freeborn, except he knew that to be a male and just freeborn would make his prospects not so bright in the future, and he wanted to live a life of ease, not a life being teased. He'd observed more than enough of that already in his life.

"It's too bad the girls can't come," he said without thinking about it.

Finished, I think?