[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki returned the hum bruce did when the man said that everyone was weak after an injury. He doubted that people were generally as week as him but it mattered not. He liked that he didnt have to fight bears off anymore, they were aggressive and dangerous creatures. He also liked that his biggest problem would be being tackled by his son, he knew of course that was merely his biggest physical worry. Hearing about Fenrir with Bucky Loki looked concerned. *I do not want him to pester the man, if Fenrir is being an annoyance I can speak with him about it.* Loki responded.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Bruce blinked at Loki’s response. “Oh I’m sure he’s an annoyance to Bucky, but I wouldn’t say anything to Fenrir.” He smirked. “I think it’s probably good for Bucky. Fenrir’s the only person around here that isn’t scared of him on some level, and try as we might not to, all of us still treat him with some caution. It’s good for Bucky to have someone act normal around him, force him to remember what it’s like to not be a…..well a weapon.” Bruce said, searching for the words he wanted. “Besides, Bucky’s attached to Steve’s hip more or less. Steve can get Fenrir refocused if he needs to be.”  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Bruce's words only brought more of a frown to Loki's face when Bruce assured him that Fenrir was almost certainly annoying Barnes. Confusion followed when the man said that he shouldn't say anything to the boy, until the man explained why. Fenrir wasn't scared of Barnes and it was good to remind the solider how to be normal. He was glad his son was helping someone out, especially a person who needed it. *I will not speak with my son as long as he is helpful in such a respect.* Loki assured Bruce. It was also nice to know that Barnes was not far from Steve's side so the solider could call Fenrir to cease should he need to.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Bruce chuckled. “Oh Fenrir’s helpful enough. Even when he’s not, he’s already wrapped us all around his little finger. The only time I’ve ever seen anyone angry at him was one time he nearly injured himself in Tony’s lab and Tony was lecturing him because Fenrir didn’t follow the rules.” Bruce admitted. “Even if he doesn’t listen all the time, he listens when it really matters for the most part.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki smiled gently hearing that his son had everyone wrapped around his finger, or in most cases paw. He was surprised to hear that no one had ever been angry at Fenrir until he had been injured in the lab. For a second Loki opened his mouth to ask how his son had been injured and how badly but he knew Tony had handled it especially since it had happened in the lab. *He needs to listen and follow the rules. It keeps him safe.* Loki murmured to himself.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Bruce nodded at Loki’s words. ‘He learned his lesson I think. Tony’s never been overly strict with him, so I think it spooked Fenrir a bit. He hasn’t disobeyed Tony’s rules again as far as I know.” Bruce said softly. “I don’t think he’s really broken any moves since. Bent maybe, but not broken.”  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked up when Bruce said that he thought Fenrir had learned his lesson. *Tony is a wonderful parent...* Loki sighed. *I knew it before I left and yet I still left, I thought I was doing what was best. Now that I know better I look back and cannot understand why I did it. Why would I think that leaving him, both of them was an option?* Loki questioned. And even the fact that Loki knew that Tony still wanted him didn't make up for what he ruined or the fact that he still didn't know if Tony wanted the children that lay in his body.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Bruce frowned slightly and helped Loki back into a sitting position. “Loki. Everyone sees better in hindsight. I’m sure, at the time, everything seemed to be justified, so you can’t beat yourself up about it.” He said gently. “What matters right now is that you’re here now. You can start recovering and you can start fixing. But you can’t do that while you’re clinging to things you see as mistakes.”  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki let Bruce move him so he was sitting back up and looked at his lap as Bruce told him that everyone saw better in hindsight. He of course knew that to be true but he had had people telling him what he should do and hadn't listened. Bruce was telling him that he couldn't beat himself up over it and now that he was back he could start recovering and fixing things. But he couldn't, he couldn't start fixing things until he was recovered and he only had one more night until Thanos would invade his mind once more, doing Yggdrasil only knew what damage. He had months of healing ahead without the man attacking his mind, with him doing so Loki didn't think he would be able to recover that part. He knew without a doubt that Thanos would break him. *I'll never make it there...* he murmured. Natasha looked up from her stretches and over at Loki and Bruce. She had spoken with both Betty and Bruce whilst Loki had been with Tony. When she had seen them arrive she had thought maybe she had been wrong with her warnings but seeing the god now she threw that idea away. Since she had discovered her own pregnancy she had read everything she could get her hands on about it. She knew all the risks and things she needed to do now. She knew that during a pregnancy because of the fluxuation in hormones throughout the body it was easier for someone who was pregnant to become depressed. She of course had Clint to really keep that from happening, Loki had not. She could see now that her concerns of that looked to be right.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Bruce frowned softly at Loki’s words. Looking to Natasha when she glanced over at them, Bruce scooted a little closer stretching his legs out to one side of Loki, pressing their thighs together slightly, trying to make a more friendly, comfortable atmosphere. “Loki, you will make it. You’ve already come far in one day. I promise you’ll make it.” He said gently, taking one of Loki’s hands in his. “Loki…..do you know what depression is? Or what humans define as depression? Medically?” he asked slowly. He didn’t know how this conversation would go, but he had to try and have it with Loki. there were things they could do to help, but he didn’t want to do anything without Loki’s permission.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Natasha caught Bruce's eyes when the man looked to her and nodded to him. She watched the doctor scoot closer to Loki and press his legs against the god's causing the god to look up. She could see the confusion on Loki face at the closeness and then the frown that took over when the man said that he would make it. It seemed like Loki thought he knew something that no one else did. She watched the god open his mouth to say something until Bruce grasped his hand. She watched the man ask Loki if he knew anything about depression and the confusion on the god's face at the question. She watched the god shake his head, she wondered how Loki was going to react to this conversation. It would not be an easy one she was sure. She wondered if they should involve Tony in this but at the same time she didn't know how the genius would react.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Nodding as Loki indicated that he didn’t know what depression was, Bruce took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to explain everything. “Depression is a type of….severe sadness. Depression makes a person very sad, makes them feel worthless, they feel removed from people and activities, it impairs concentration, causes insomnia, brings about fatigue and weight loss, and it can make a person feel extremely restless, or extremely lethargic.” He explained slowly. “Depression is normal on occasions, just like all emotions, but when a person is depressed for long periods of time or experience depression on a regular, reoccurring basis, that isn’t normal. That’s usually by an imbalance of hormones, too much of one, not enough of another, then the world just starts looking bad.” He continued, not letting go of Loki’s hand. “Because of the changing chemicals in the body, depression is actually fairly common during and after pregnancy Loki. I think you may be going through that.”  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki watched Bruce when the man took his hand asking him if he knew what something was and Loki had shaken his head. He didn't know what the man was talking about but he knew Bruce would explain. Loki's brows furrowed at the man's explanation. He could almost instantly see where the man was going with what he was saying. Loki felt suddenly defensive and wanted to pull away from the man but Bruce held onto his hand. The man didn't know what was going on, he didn't know what was at risk. *You think I have such a thing?* Loki questioned his brow furrowed in defense and anger. *You don't even know what has been going on.* he declared.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Bruce saw the anger rising in Loki’s eyes, but he didn’t back down. It was too late to take anything back anyway. He just hoped Loki would be open to reason. “I know I don’t know everything that’s been going on, I never claimed to.” Bruce replied gently. “But many of the things that can lead to depression you have been through. Poor nutrition, little rest, lack of social networks, lack of bonding with a partner, high stress, all of that increases the likelihood of getting depression during pregnancy.” Pausing, he tilted his head. “It’s nothing to be scared or ashamed of. A lot of people go through it, and there are ways to help rebalance the hormones that are completely safe.”  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki started to calm when Bruce agreed that he didn't know everything that had been happening and that he had never claimed to. Then he continued to say what things could lead to him having depression, of course everything was things that applied to the god. Still that didn't mean that he had this condition, many of those things could be explained by the seperation from everyone and Tony. The stress had come from fighting for his life and against Thanos' invasion of his mind. Still Bruce was not listing it as a form of depression but a reason that could cause it. He wanted to ask questions about it but he was afraid that if he did it would mean admitting to such a thing. He didn't believe he had such a thing either, it was just that the fates had been after him for as long as he knew. He had often felt like he did now, maybe not as badly but he had and now things were worse than they had ever been. So instead of questioning it Loki shook his head, it wasn't like JARVIS could translate everything he asked anyway.