[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Bruce smiled faintly at Loki’s complaint. “Yes well, if the labor is as bad as this, we have ways to help you through it, medicines, epidurals. And if it truly becomes a concern, I’m not completely tabling surgery if needed. I hope it’ll be easier when your body is actually trying to accomplish something rather than just doing a check though. If your body is truly working towards delivering the twins, it might be helpful.” He assured, taking a moment to scrawl a few things on a tablet, wanting to record some notes and thoughts on Loki’s condition before he forgot them. “I know how much you hate being on bed rest Loki, I apologize for the restrictions, but this late in the pregnancy, there’s not much more I can advise that will help. The last few weeks are always a tense and draining for everyone unfortunately.” He said slowly. Tony just sighed, shaking his head and leaning back in his chair. “Guess I’ll have the opportunity to make you watch all the movies you should catch up on.” He joked slightly. He knew he’d be pretty much on restriction with Loki, for the sake of both of their sanity. Loki’s sudden question Had Tony squeezing his hand reassuringly. “He’s with Steve. I tried to calm him down a bit before I came in but…” he looked around, eyes landing on Thor who was already moving towards the door. “I will retrieve him for you. I am sure he will want to be with you both.” He said, lifting a hand as if to assure them he was already well ahead of them. Smirking, Tony just shook his head and ran his hand over his face as his head dropped back. “So this whole bond is definitely taking the whole ‘supportive baby daddy’ thing to a whole new level.” He joked, flexing his fingers in Loki’s grasp, feeling the stiff muscles creak with the movement.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked a bit concerned and almost terrified when Bruce suggested his actual labor might be just as bad as what he had just been through. He couldn't imagine it and he didn't want to, hell if it was what he had been through combined with previous labors Loki was terrified. Those labors had been hard and long with normal labor pains as far as he had been told, to have the same with the pain he had had, he was sure he wouldn't handle it. Medicines and epidurals which Loki was now more read up on weren't a for sure bet with his alien biology compared to those of Midgard. Those plus the thought of surgery had Loki's head spinning. "I hope so too." Loki said softly when Bruce put forth the idea that it was just going to be helpful for the actual labor. He remained quiet thinking as Bruce made notes about him until the man spoke again apologizing for sticking him on restrictions again. "No, no I understand. It'll be easy anyway, not like I want to face the whole world as I am right now." Loki sighed, still it had been nice to go to Charles' school. He knew that would have to wait until after the twins were born to happen again. Bruce was right though that the last few weeks were tense and draining. Looking up when Tony sighed, red eyes watched as the man shook his head and Loki grew a bit anxious knowing that Tony would be restricted by the restrictions Loki was on. While they were better, he and Tony's relationship wasn't completely fixed and he expected this would put strain between them. Still Tony seemed to handle it well by joking about having Loki catch up on all the movies he should be and that brought a small little smile to Loki's face as the god nodded. He would happily watch any movie Tony wanted to at this point because it meant they were spending time together. Thor's readiness to fetch Fenrir when he had asked after him had Loki looking from Tony to his brother with relief and appreciation.

Loki's attention turned back to Tony when the genius commented on the bond and how it had affected him. Some part of the god knew his mate was joking but Loki paled at the thought of what Tony must have felt through the bond. He wasn't sure how much pain tranferred over since any previous pain to either had been done when the bond had been closed off. So Loki was led to believe that his mate had gotten all of the pain and emotions that Loki had felt. "I...I am sorry I didn't know... I didn't think about such ramifications of the bond..." Loki apologized rapidly yanking his hand back like he had been burned when Tony flexed his hand. He knew that his strength was more than Tony's even with how weak he felt now and the thought of hurting Tony had the god feeling guilty in an instant even if he hadn't meant to. "I never meant to cause you pain... I can..." the next words died in Loki's throat sticking there and feeling like they were almost choking him. The barest thought of blocking the bond off again set god into a panic and the the heart monitor and everything else Bruce had monitering the god picked up the raised rythm. He tried to force the words out but they wouldn't leave him and Loki only felt more panic at the thought of being seperated in the slightest from Tony. They had just strengthened the bond again so that it wasn't falling apart, and losing the feeling of the bond in any capacity felt like a down right betrayal of everything. He couldn't do it, couldn't offer it to his mate to keep him from the pain that Loki might feel. The emotional guilt of having caused pain, the potential of causing more pain and the pain that Loki himself had already felt had the god tearing up and suddenly gasping out more apologies as he tried to keep from full on sobbing.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Loki’s easy agreement to the movies made Tony relax, starting to feel like everything was starting to go back to normal again. But that was quickly thrown out the window when Loki instantly seemed to fall into a panic at his joking. Staring at Loki as he felt the panic flood the bond and the god snatched his hand away. The instant shift in mood and the overwhelming emotions left him stunned for a moment, frozen in his chair. “Lo….” He mumbled, trying to process everything and sort out who’s emotions and thoughts were who’s in the panic. Shaking his head slowly, he just moved from the chair to sit on the very edge of the bed, pulling Loki close and holding him there. “I’m sorry Lo, I shouldn’t have joked about things like that. I wasn’t thinking.” He apologized quietly as he rubbed the god’s back, trying to get him to relax again. Before he could do much to ease Loki’s mind however, he heard the hiss of the door opening and Thor was carrying Fenrir in. The moment the boy picked up on the tension in the room, he started crying, reaching out for Loki and Tony and squirming to get away from his uncle. Tony couldn’t help but feel the urge to curse, but he bit back the words. Once again he had an equally distraught mate and child, just upset in different ways for different things. Reaching out for Fenrir, he took the boy into his lap in between himself and Loki as he bundled them both as close as he could manage. “It’s alright. We’re all alright.” He mumbled trying to comfort them both, but not completely sure how to. He wasn’t good with comforting himself, let alone a hormonal god or a distraught child.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki nearly hunched in on himself as Tony sat frozen in the chair and didn't look to the man when Tony called to him. He felt such guilt, fear and shame about everything that had occured. The pain the bond had caused Tony brought the fear and shame, but shame came with the guilt because of the thoughts of closing off the bond again. Seeing Tony shake his head from the corner of his eye Loki's panic rose a bit as if he was sure Tony was shaking his head at some thought about the bond or the pain. He almost flinched back when his mate finally moved to sit on the edge of the bed. He was being stupid and emotional he knew but some how he couldn't stop it and it only seemed to be worse when Tony gathered him close and held him. He coudn't stop some of the tears then as Tony apologized for joking. The god of course tried to tell Tony it wasn't his fault, that it was just stupid but he hadn't gotten far with those words when Thor returned with Fenrir. The instant Fenrir started crying and reaching for him it broke everything else loose in Loki and the god sobbed as Tony brought his son close as well. Loki wrapped on arm around Fenrir holding the boy close while his other hand lodged itself in Tony's shirt unwilling to be seperated from the man. The god buried his face against his mate's shoulder and continued to cry for a little while still murmuring apologies. He did finally calm down enough to stop crying but then his head hurt and he felt more exhausted than he had on the way home in the car. He knew that was from the crying and the false labor though. Once he had calmed enough emotionally he set to calming Fenrir so that everything could be calm and talked about. "Fenrir, my son. It is okay, everything is okay. Your siblings are fine, Bruce and Betty took care of them and made sure they were safe. Look you can listen to their hearts." Loki stated pulling the stethoscope from on the bed and holding it out to his son.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony kept them both as close as he could, rocking them ever so slightly as he placed little kisses on Loki’s hair, horns, and temple, anywhere he could reach with Loki hiding himself as he was. “It’s alright…we’re all alright, no need for tears.” He mumbled over and over. Fenrir didn’t seem to be paying either of them any mind however, throwing his arms around Loki and holding onto the god as tightly as he could manage as he cried, Tony just petting his hair and keeping him balanced in his lap. As Loki calmed down, Tony pressed his mind close, sending comfort and love to the god, trying not to be overwhelming, but also needing to help settle Loki a little more. When the god turned his attention to Fenrir, the boy just continued to cry, ignoring the stethoscope. “You were dying.” He cried out, clinging to Loki. “You’re were dying because you left the house for me.” He continued. Tony couldn’t help but feel the shot to the heart at Fenrir’s logic. “Oh little man…you didn’t do anything wrong….and Loki wasn’t dying, I promise.” He said gently, trying to brush Fenrir’s hair from his face to catch a glimpse of his eyes.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki didn't shift as Tony pressed kisses to anywhere on his head that the genius could access, he wasn't ready to unbury himself despite his being there. Both of them being so distraught was surely stressful on his mate but still Loki was only able to pull enough calm to try and alleviate his son's reasons for distress. He had held onto his son as tightly as the boy had held onto him despite hiding his face against his mate's shoulder. When he had finally calmed enough to try and take on Fenrir's distress he felt Tony press his mind close sending comfort and love. While the comfort and love we're helpful to reassure Loki of his mate's love it almost sent Loki back into tears and apologies but he held on merely trying to soak up the comfort and love. He wanted to use that to help Fenrir calm, his son was going to come first over a break down of his own which he was going to try and put off. Fenrir's lack of interest in listening to his siblings hearts had the god becoming worried but he was no where prepared for what Fenrir said. Dying... Fenrir thought he had been dying and that it was his fault because Loki had left the house for him, to help prepare for his schooling. That nearly broke Loki then but he held himself together but just barely despite his chest and stomach tightening painfully. Loki nodded when Tony tried to tell Fenrir that his mother wasn't dying at all and that he certainly didn't do anything wrong. "Tony's right my son, I wasn't dying. My body is just trying to prepare for your siblings and I wasn't ready for it. Bruce helped to calm it down, but it might happen again but that's normal. It's something called Braxton Hicks. Come on pup, it is okay everything is okay I promise you." Loki tried to assure his son.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Fenrir continued to cry for a few more minutes despite the reassurances, crying himself out until he was just clinging to Loki, tired but refusing to let go as he hiccupped quietly. Tony just sighed in defeat as he went back to rocking both Loki and Fenrir in his arms ever so slightly, gazing off into the distance as he waited for Fenrir to calm down as he thought over the situation. This had gone from being a pretty good day to being a very, very rough one. Once the little family had quieted finally Bruce piped up from where he’d been keeping himself busy. “Perhaps it would be wise to go lay down in your own rooms for the night. A cool bath and some peace and quiet sounds like exactly the right prescription for all of you.” He said quietly. “If you’re still up come dinner, we’ll bring something up to you.” He added, looking over each of them with a gaze that was almost pitying. It had been quite an afternoon and he’d only been there for part of it. Tony nodded and looked to Loki, brushing hair from his face. “Think you can walk up to our room babe? Or do you want me to call Thor back in here?” He knew Loki wouldn’t like having to be helped by his brother, but it also wasn’t exactly the time for pride either, not after all that had just happened. As he spoke, Tony slowly began to try and pry Fenrir from Loki, letting the boy turn to cling to him instead so the god wouldn’t have to worry about carrying him.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki held his son as best he could with one hand still on Tony. The hand on Tony was subconscious as if afraid that his mate would leave now that he had started to calm and was working on calming Fenrir. He knew logically that Tony wasn't leaving but it didn't stop his mind from just making sure by keeping a hand on him. Fenrir finally calming to the point of being tied and clingy didn't have the god releasing the boy one bit as Tony continued to rock them. He liked Fenrir was starting to feel the exhaustion of the day, pain and emotions more and more his own head coming to rest on Tony's shoulder. All his emotions over the everything were still there boiling under the surface of tiredness in his mind but he let them alone for now. Red eyes had started to close when Bruce finally spoke up suggesting that it would be wise to go lay in their own rooms for the night after a cool bath. It did indeed sound nice but Loki was so reluctant to move. Everything that had felt sore before had seemed to settle as he didn't move much and he knew that the moment he did all the pain would come back. His muscles would protest any movement. Red eyes moved to look at Tony as hair was brushed from his face and the man questions if he could walk back to the room. "I can try it," Loki murmured already trying to work his mind up to moving. He let his mate pry Fenrir from him and he brushed a hand through the boy's hair as Fenrir clung to Tony instead of him. He took a moment before shifting finally and groaned at the instant protests his body raised, his abdomen especially unhappy. As much as he hated needing help and calling for his brother he was quick to think that perhaps it might be wise. He didn't want to risk falling and causing any harm or anymore harm to the twins. "I think... Thor might be a good option." Loki admitted softly.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony cuddled Fenrir for a moment, reassuring him and making she he felt safe in his arms before he stood. Looking back to Loki, he reached out as the god moved to get up, trying to help support him. When Loki stopped and admitted that he needed help, Tony just stepped closer, kissing his temple. “JARVIS will get him for you.” He said, rubbing Loki’s side in an effort to help comfort him a little. “I’m going to have to give you all the spa days you could ever want after these babies come. They’re beating you up babe.” He said gently. A few moments later Thor walked in, looking over the family with clear concern. “JARVIS said you needed help brother?” he asked as he came closer, clearly giving Loki the chance to refuse his help before he came closer. “Do you want me to help you walk or are you in too much pain?” he asked, petting Fenrir’s head as he passed, but the boy only buried himself more into Tony’s shoulder as if he was worried Thor would take him away. The motion was enough to distract Tony a little, bouncing the boy and shushing him. “It’s alright, I’ve got you.” He murmured, pressing kisses to his head as he moved away from Loki slightly to comfort the boy and give Thor space to help the other god.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked to his mate when Tony stepped forward after he had admitted that he could use Thor's help. He accepted the kiss to his temple relaxing a bit intp his mate's comforting touch as his side was rubbed. He nodded at JARVIS being able to get Thor for him. He gave a hum of appreciation when Tony told him that he was going to give him all the spa days he could want because of how much the children were beating him up. A spa day sounded like a good thing, time to relax but he doubted he would get to do that anytime soon after the twins were borne. Still it was a nice thought, nice to think about having that kind of time to relax. "All the kids have, at some point beaten me up." Loki offered with a slight smile. It was then that Thor returned and Loki thought about biting his tongue rather than confirm his need for help. He still even though their relationship was better didn't like asking Thor for help. He shifted a bit to try and move but his body protested and all Loki's thought up protest about having Thor help him fled away, so instead he nodded at the question of his need for help. The question about walking or being in too much pain had him considering his bodies protest. Tony's soothing of Fenrir helped make the god's decision for him. Fenrir had already been freaked out because he had been in pain. Loki certainly didn't want his son to continue seeing him in pain so soon after things. "I think i'll avoid walking for a time." Loki sighed. "Better to get to bed quicker and recover quicker." he added.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Thor nodded slightly, not making a bigger deal out of any of this than needed, trying to be mindful of Loki’s pride in the moment. Carefully he lifted Loki up, carrying him easily and securely against his chest. Tony continued to bounce Fenrir until he saw that Thor was ready to move. Leading the god out of the infirmary, he headed straight up to the bedroom he shared with Loki, clutching Fenrir close the whole time. The mansion seemed oddly quiet as they walked, as if the lingering tension and worry from Loki’s contractions had spread throughout. When they entered the bedroom, Tony quickly pushed a button to lower all of the blinds and turn the lights on low, eager to make the room as relaxing as they could manage. Pulling back the sheets from Loki’s side of the bed, Tony watched as Thor carefully set Loki down on the bed, careful to jostle him as little as possible. For as loud and brash as the god could be, he was clearly trying to be gentle and thoughtful of Loki. Stepping away, he looked between the pair with a little concern. “Please. If you need anything else, call me. I do not wish to see either of you in pain again.” He murmured before showing himself out. When the door clicked shut behind him, Tony closed the distance between himself and Loki once more, letting Fenrir turn to cling to his mother again. “Well, this has been an interesting day.” He said, trying to joke, but the edge to his tone showed that he was nervous to even try for humor at the moment.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki gave a slight huff when Thor easily lifted him and held him close but said nothing as Thor did. In fact Loki was glad that Thor was not making a bigger deal out of carrying him. He was sure his pride would not have taken any teasing words from his brother and he would have demanded to be put down and tried to walk himself had such words come. Thankfully none did come because Loki while sure he might have been able to force himself to walk through any pain he felt found himself exhausted and glad when he was finally laid in bed. He heard Thor's words about calling him if they needed him once more and Loki nodded in agreement. "Thank you brother." Loki replied softly before Thor had left. Fenrir's returning weight against him, clinging to him had the god moving to help soothe his son while angling his body as much as he could towards his mate. Red eyes watched Tony as the man tried to joke, he could see the nervousness there about trying it but Loki merely gave Tony a slight smile. "Interesting indeed." Loki returned his own tone light. "It was a good day though despite." Loki said softly. They had eased their fears over Charles' school and putting their children their. He hoped too that Fenrir had made friends when he had gone off with the other children and Ororo.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony relaxed incrementally as Loki seemed to settle and responded well to his words. Petting Fenrir’s hair, he gave a small nod. “It was. We got a lot done….and we figured out a lot for the future too.” He said with a small smile. It was nice to think they’d figured out where all of the kids could go to school, where they’d be safe, but also have everything they needed to really get to be kids. Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to the top of Fenrir’s head. “Just think Fen, you’ll get to go play sports with a bunch of friends, run around and play with them soon enough. Sounds like fun doesn’t it?” he asked quietly, the boy offering a small nod in response, but not letting go of Loki either. Giving Loki a sad, but understanding look, he could only shake his head. Fenrir clearly was done for the day, he probably wouldn’t bounce back to his normal self until he got a full night of sleep and had the chance to talk to them tomorrow. Leaning forward, he cupped Loki’s cheek and kissed his forehead gently. “Want me to get you a bath going, or do you just want to sleep?’ he asked quietly.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki smiled as Tony set about soothing Fenrir a bit by petting the boy's hair. "We did, it was a productive day. I am glad we were able to go and figure things out. I feel much more at ease about sending Fenrir and the twins there. Do you?" Loki questioned. He smiled a bit more when Tony talked with Fenrir about having friends and playing sports. The boy nodding but not pulling away from him didn't surprise Loki at all. He was sure his son had been throughly freaked out over what had happened especially after the condition he had returned to the mansion in after he had left. Or after the kidnapping done by SHIELD. Things just seemed to keep happening to Loki that made Fenrir fear losing him. "I don't think he'll be at all pleased on being seperated from me right now. I think sleep will do more good in allowing my body to recover than a bath right now. That can wait until later." Loki answered running his own fingers through his son's hair while he reached for Tony with his free hand.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony nodded slightly at the question, though his eyes did remain on Fenrir. “Yeah. I Trust Xavier and the others…and I know that it’s the best we could hope for with the kids. I mean there will still be issues, but that comes with schools and growing up and everything.” He said quietly. Loki’s refusal of a bath just had him glancing up at the god to check that he was really okay with it. Seeing him reaching out to him, Tony smiled and leaned in closer to the god. Slowly reaching out, he hugged Loki close, letting Fenrir be caught safely between them. “I love both of you.” He said gently. Ever so carefully, he reached into Loki’s mind, tugging at the bond. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything to help you earlier Lo.” He whispered into the god’s mind. It had hurt to see Loki in so much pain and unable to do anything to help him, to take the pain away or even just lessen it.