[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki smiled when Tony said that he trusted Charles and that his school was the best they could hope for for their children. "Any issues we face I'm sure we'll be able to handle them." Loki reassured his mate squeezing the man's hand. Tony leaning in and hugging them both soothed any other worries and apprehension Loki had had. "We love you too." Loki murmured softly leaning against the man. He was prepared to fall asleep when he felt the tug of the bond. 'It is not your fault Tony. There was really nothing either of us could have done. We'll I mean it was at least half your fault that we got into the situation.' Loki tried assured and tried to tease his mate. 'its okay though, Bruce was able to fix it. And now we know what it is and what we have to do to prevent or stop it from reaching such levels again. I'll be okay.' Loki promised.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony just held Loki a little tighter as he leaned against him, burying his nose in the god’s hair and just taking in the peace and quiet of the moment. ‘I hope so. I don’t want you going through that again.’ He responded softly, pressing their minds close for a moment, trying to give comfort and get a little in return. Shifting slightly, he looked down to Fenrir, a hand coming up to rub the boy’s back. Fenrir barely moved at the touch, just grumbling slightly. Shaking his head, Tony just pulled away, carefully prying Fenrir off of Loki once more. “Come on….Let your mother lay down. Neither one of you will be happy if you sleep like that.” He said quietly as Fenrir grumbled again. Holding the boy close, he bounced Fenrir slightly, smirking as Fenrir quieted and seemed to doze off. “He’s definitely done.” He chuckled, looking to Loki. “You need me to get you more pillows or something?”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki gave a slight frown when his attempt at humor seemed to fall flat. He had thought he might at least get a small grin from his mate but he let it pass as Tony pressed their minds close allowing both to give and take comfort. He nodded when Tony said that he didn't want him going through that pain again, he didn't want to either but he wasn't assured that it wouldn't happen again. In fact even if he didn't experience a false labor pain such as that again he was sure that he would have similar pain in actual labor. His previous labors had all been rough and the last one with the triplets, well Loki shivered at the thought of his previous labor as Tony carefully pried Fenrir off of him. Looking to his son had the god giving a sad look knowing how much he had scared his child. He moved to lay down completely as Tony held Fenrir and gave a slight smile at the grumbling Fenrir gave. "It's been a very eventful day for him. For all of us." Loki sighed. He shook his head at the offer of Tony retrieving anything for him. "No I think I am alright for the time being." he assured. 'I think when it comes time for the twins to be borne that it is best for Fenrir not to be present.' Loki offered over the bond. He didn't want his son to see anything that would have him afriad of losing Loki again.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Watching Loki lay down, Tony did what he could to help move blankets and pillows for the god as he continued to bounce Fenrir, feeling the soft steady breaths from the boy signaling that he had fallen asleep resting against Tony’s shoulder. Nodding at Loki’s refusal of anything else, he reached out to gently run his fingers through Loki’s hair before he walked around the bed to his own side. The statement over the bond brought a small nod from Tony. ‘Agreed. I don’t know that he’s old enough to really understand it all just yet, especially not after the scare today.’ he responded as he carefully placed Fenrir down next to Loki, slowly slipping under the sheets himself. ‘Thor will be able to take care of him and keep him distracted well enough. Besides, it sounds like you’ll have more than enough people in the room with you to worry about anyway.’/color]  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki smiled at his mate as he helped to shift some of the blankets and pillows to make laying down more comfortable for Loki. He was sure it was difficult with the genius also bouncing Fenrir to soothe the boy to sleep. He wasn't surprised when the boy did drift off against Tony. Red eyes closed as Tony's hands ran his fingers though the god's hair before moving. It was that closing of his eyes that made Loki realize how tired he truly was. Accepting Fenrir from Tony as the genius moved to get settled beside him. "He isn't old enough I think, perhaps maybe we even get Hela or one of his other siblings to help out as well. Thor isn't always the best at keeping secrets, and if my previous pregnancy in Asgard was anything to go by he wants to be as involved as he can. I think my mother and Eir had to have someone remove him from the room multiple times." Loki informed Tony. He didn't remember Thor being around at the time but his mother had been sure to let him know that his brother wanted in to see his new nephews when Loki had been a bit recovered. Thor had come in as an excited and worried puppy with too much energy for Loki who was still too exhausted at the time to do more than lay where he was and hold his children.

He was sure that because Thor hadn't been around for the birth of Fenrir and his siblings and he was here now. There was no way Thor wouldn't be excited and worried as before, he just hoped that Tony would be able to keep Thor calm and not overwhelm Loki when he was finally allowed to see the newborn twins. "How many people do you think are going to be in the room?" Loki questioned suddenly more worried about that than Thor's presence. He knew Bruce and Tony at the very least, probably Bodil as well, his mother if she could manage and was told in time. But he didn't know who else would even try to be in the room.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony chuckled at Loki’s admission of Thor having to be removed from the room as he fussed with his pillow and sheets a bit to get comfortable. It wasn’t hard to see Thor doing that. Thor really was interested in being a good brother and a good uncle, and if Loki allowed him, Tony was sure the god would be as involved as possible with their lives. In fact, even with just today, he was certain Thor would happily be in the room the entire time if he was allowed to be, doing whatever he could to help Loki. “The curse of having an overexcited brother Loki. At least you know he’s truly happy for you and attached to his niece and nephews with that kind of reaction.” He responded, gently trying to remind Loki that having an excited and engaged brother wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. The question made Tony pause in his fussing and arch a brow in thought. “Well all the doctors and healers in the house I’m sure, so Frigga, Bruce, Betty, and Bodil. Me if you want me around during it….and if your mom doesn’t chase me out. I know some cultures have a thing about dads being in the room…” Trailing off, Tony turned a curious gaze to Loki as if asking if Loki followed such views. “Then there’s also the chance of any other healers or whatever Frigga decides she might need. I don’t know how medicine is really done on Asgard, how involved it is. If you think they’d be useful Farbauti is still around as well. Perhaps having an actual jotun who has had children could be useful, though we might be able to just ask her to wait outside in case she’s needed. And there’s also the chance of Hela. She seems to like being around during big things to keep an eye on you, and I’m sorry Loki, I am not going to argue with her if she decides she’s going to be in the room. You can tell her yourself.” He continued, shaking his head quickly at the idea of pissing off the goddess. He’d fight Jor before he raised a word of question to Hela.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki smiled as Tony chuckled knowing the information he had given about his brother was an amusing bit. Nodding when Tony said that at least Loki knew his brother was happy for him and already attached to his children he sighed. Thor was easily overexcited but Tony was right, when he looked at situations such as those there was no denying that Thor loved him and any children he had. Thor had never shied away from any of his neices or nephews even when the rest of Asgard had, and he had never seemed to blame Loki for Vali and Narfi's disappearances the way others had. "Thor is... he may have kept secrets from me under Odin's orders but he has never not loved me or been my brother." Loki breathed out softly. It was an admission he hadn't really made aloud before, not with all the pain of everything that had happened to him in the last few years. The pain of finding out his heritage and that even Thor had known when he had not had hurt. Loki had wanted to be mad at his brother and aim that hurt at him knowing he could not aim it at Odin without repurcussions. But he knew it was ill placed then as he did now, he was just more ready to accept that now and absolve Thor of that pain he had felt. There were still other problems in their relationship but it was much better than it had been when he had first arrived in Tony's tower and he had Tony to thank for that.

The list of people Tony laid out that he expected to be around Loki come the time of delivery of the twins had Loki a bit anxious. Some he had expected of course in regards to Bruce and even Betty if he thought about it. She had come into her own helping Bruce with Loki and Natasha. Loki was sure that Bruce would probably feel more calm and relaxed at the time of the deliveries with Betty close. His mother and Bodil were not really a surprise either or Tony. "Of course I want you there, you already promised me you would be." Loki rushed out. He didn't care if his mother did try to chase Tony from the room he would fight her on that, though he didn't think she would try such things. After all his brothers had said that the bond they shared could make the labor easier. More healers seemed unlikely to be around unless his mother brought them and he couldn't see that happening unless there was some major complication that neither she or Bruce could handle, even then he suspected it would only be Eir because Loki didn't care for any of the other healers. Eir was the only one that knew what to do and how to handle him. Farbauti was a surprise, more so because Loki hadn't even thought about having another Jotun around. He still thought of 'her' as Kalani's grandmother because she continued that guise despite her true origins being discovered. "She could be useful, but I think only asking for her if she's needed might be best." Loki hummed head still swimming with the amount of people. Hela too was a surprise thought of someone to be around when it came time. He like Tony wasn't about to argue with his daughter being in the room but he wasn't sure what he would think of her being there if there was some complication. "I don't think I'd argue with her either, but what if she shows up not merely to help or watch over me...?" Loki questioned softly. It had been an underlying fear for most of his pregnancy that perhaps one of his children or even both might not make it. He knew how hard his last labor had been and he had been by himself that time, with more magic than he had now. The time before had been hard as well with his mother and Eir present. Each labor though seemed to become worse as his brothers Jotunhiem had said, when they had said that the fear had just grown. Festered a bit more in Loki's worried mind, and nothing would rid him of that fear until his children were borne, alive and safe.

"It...it's alot of people in one room, more than my mother and Eir being there." Loki remarked thinking again about the number of people. He knew even after the labor and delivery there would be more people around to see the babies. "I might be a bit testy during then and for a bit after..." Loki finally admitted gently. He had been so during and after the birth of his previous twins, even snapping at his mother and Eir a bit after the twins had been borne. He had just felt so protective over them that it took alot of his willpower to let even his mother hold them. Thor though, he remembered now, hadn't seemed like such a threat when his brother had finally held his nephews.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

 

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

The quiet admission that Thor did indeed love Loki and his children brought a little smile to Tony’s lips as he leaned over to press a soft kiss to Loki’s brow, almost as if to reward Loki for the realization. He knew how long Loki had been at odds with Thor, how long he’d refused to think that his brother had any virtues or good intentions toward him, so the slow acceptance and peace he was finding with Thor really was something to see. The tension and strain of centuries slowly being worked away now that they were removed from the pressures and influences of Asgard and their father. Still, Tony also knew how begrudging Loki was about voicing those thoughts outside of these private little moments. “I promise I won’t tell him you said that.” He whispered against Loki’s skin before he finally let himself settle down on his side of the bed, arm snaking around Loki to hold the god as best as he could with Fenrir still nestled between them, still completely oblivious to the conversations going on above him.

The near panic that Loki showed at the idea of Tony not being in the room ignited a spark of both warmth and fear in Tony. There was something deeply satisfying to him to know Loki wanted and needed him there, even though he couldn’t really do much to help Loki through labor other than try to figure out how to comfort him with words. He couldn’t quite tell if it was a mate thing or just a parent thing that inspired such pride in the idea. Yet on the opposite side, he was also all too aware of how few men could actually make it through watching their partner give birth. Tony’s pride told him he’d be fine, that he’d seen enough in his life that it wouldn’t bother him, but paranoia still ate at him. Not to mention the thought of Loki transforming for labor. He knew his mate’s natural forms all too well, both in Asgardian and Jotun forms, but he was unfamiliar with any of Loki’s other transformations other than occasional glimpses when the god had been showing off or making a point. He didn’t know if seeing an unfamiliar form would make it all better or worse for him and his ability to not faint or anything. Still, Tony just rubbed his free hand along Loki’s side, comforting his mate as he spoke. “Then I’ll be there with you. Until you decide you’re tired of seeing the guy that’s responsible for what you're going through and kick me out.” He joked gently, trying to ease Loki’s concern. His decision to have Farbauti nearby but not in the room had Tony nodding slightly. He was sure that could be arranged easily enough. Farbauti seemed to care about Loki despite what history might have suggested, so she’d likely be willing to be on call for him. The sudden worry that came over Loki had Tony shaking his head ever so slightly as he propped himself up on his elbow to look down at Loki seriously. “Don’t think like that. You don’t get to do that alright? This has been hard on you and the kids, yes, but you and the twins are going to be fine.” He said firmly, meeting Loki’s eyes with a steady gaze. “You have more help and capable healers and doctors than you’ve ever had before to help you through, not to mention the fact that Betty and Bruce are going to be keeping you in perfect shape right up to the day now. Hela is just going to come to be the overprotective daughter we both know she is if she pops up.” Waiting for his words to sink in and settle in Loki’s mind, he let out a sigh and finally settled again, a little huff of annoyance escaping him a moment later as he tried to find a new comfortable spot.

The talk about Loki being in a mood around labor brought a snort from Tony. “Babe, you will just have pushed two screaming people into the world, I think some moodiness is allowed.” He pointed out. Slowly pressing a hand to Loki’s belly as he settled again, he ran his thumb in small circles, eyes drifting down as he let himself think about actually meeting the twins finally, not just feeling their gymnastics inside Loki. “I don’t think anyone will blame you for being a bit imbalanced for a while. I certainly won’t. Plus, you have the benefit of everyone knowing you’re a good mother already, so they won’t be worried about the kids or anything.” He said gently. No, everyone would be looking at him after the twins arrived, not at Loki. Loki was capable and caring, everyone knew that, everyone saw hoe much his children loved him, even the ones who’d been denied him for most of their lives. The question and concern would be if Tony could handle everything, if he’d be a better father than people expected or if he’d crash and burn like his father, just more publicly than Howard. The thought had his brows furrowing and his mind spiraling away from Loki for the moment, down various scenarios that could play out, not so much concerned about his success at the moment, but if others would see him succeeding, if they’d see his struggles to learn how to be a parent as him failing or even harming his children. Forcing himself back into the moment with more mental effort that he’d like to admit, brown eyes focused on red again. “You need to not be so hard on yourself about pregnancy and having the twins and all. Nobody’s perfect, but people already know you can handle yourself.”

 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked to Tony when the man kissed his brow after Loki had admitted that Thor was his brother and did love him. He smiled to his mate appreciating the comfort and almost reward. He smiled more and shook his head when Tony promised that he wouldn't tell him what he said. "You better not." he teased back to Tony. He knew of course that Tony would never do such a thing. Snuggling into Tony as best he could with Fenrir between them as Tony curled close to them.

Loki felt relief after his panic about Tony not being there when the man promised to be there until he kicked him out for being tired of seeing the man who had caused him the discomfort they both knew would come with the birth. "I won't kick you, never, i'll want you there the whole time. Even if for some reason I tell you to go away you can't." Loki pleaded to his mate. He wanted to make sure Tony didn't leave him alone at all. Every other pregnancy and birth he had wanted his partner around even if he hadn't known who it was at the time or if they were dead he had wanted them. He was also glad that he didn't disagree about leaving Farbauti outside of the room unless they needed her. Bruce, Betty, his mother, Bodil the healer and Tony were far more people than he had ever had in while he was in labor. He was sure Thor would try to be in there as well, along with whatever of his children showed up. He wouldn't keep Hela away even if her presence made him nervous, he was drawn away from the thoughts of what Hela might be there for when Tony was speaking and scolding him for thinking such a way. Tony was telling him that yes everything had been hard on him and the twins but that they were going to be fine. His red eyes kept locked with Tony's brown ones as the man told him everything. That they had more help and more capable healers then Loki had ever had before which was true. Loki had never had so much help and where that many people had made him nervous before now seemed loke such a blessing with Tony's words. He smiled at the thought of of Bruce and Betty keeping him in perfect shape for the rest of his pregnancy. Finally Loki nodded in agreement to Tony's words. "You're right, you always are." Loki sighed softly. "I know why I worry so much about this but you are right, I have far more help than i ever have before." Loki breathed his body releasing all the panic and tension he had felt about it.

Loki chuckled when Tony said that he would have pushed to screaming people into the world and that he was allowed some moodiness. "I think moody is the least I will be but it is nice to know that everyone will give me a little leeway." Loki smiled softly. He was glad Tony wouldn't hold it against him if he reacted badly though Loki was pretty sure he wouldn't react in such a way towards his mate. When Tony talked about no one worrying about him because they knew he was a good mother caused Loki to frown. He frowned deeper when Tony seemed lost in thoughts for a few moments. He knew exactly what the man was thinking and he reached out to grab the man's hand. "And you need to not doubt your own self so much. Everyone here has seen how you are with Fenrir. How well you did with him. You are a wonderful parent already and I know you will be much more so with your own children." Loki assured his mate. "No one in this house worries about how you will be with your children and anyone outside of this house can go with my daughter to Hel." Loki stated.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

The distress that poured from Loki at the notion of Tony leaving him for any reason sobered the genius up quickly. Soothing him over the bond, Tony shook his head. “I won’t leave. I promise Lo. I’ll be right there holding your hand and helping however I can.” He whispered, meeting Loki’s gaze calmly. “I want to meet the kids when you do.” He really did mean it too. He wanted to meet the twins as soon as he could, to share those first moments with them and Loki. When the god seemed to calm down overall about labor, Tony couldn’t help but smile, relaxing in turn.

Tony’s gaze shot to Loki as the god took his hand. Frowning ever so slightly as he listened, the mention of him being a parent to Fenrir and being successful at it softened him. He had been a parent for the pup to some way for months now. And at the very least Fenrir was alive and thus far unharmed by anything Tony had done…aside from chasing Loki away in a fight. And Loki was right. The other Avengers didn’t seem likely to judge him too harshly if he treated the twins like Fenrir. They had all been content to let him care for Fenrir as he saw fit and only stepped up when he really needed help or he asked them to help out. They wouldn’t let him screw up a kid without saying something and none of them had said anything yet. Nodding slowly at the reassurance, he let a faint smile spread across his face at the god’s last comment. “Gotta say, that little saying drastically changes after you’ve met Hel.” He joked quietly. Lifting Loki’s hand, Tony pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles before he spoke again. “Thank you. I just…when you’re raised to think about how the world is going to pick apart everything you do, you do it for them eventually.” he mumbled. “And I have to say the parent press is a lot more terrifying than the press I normally deal with.”


 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki soaked up the soothing that Tony pushed over the bond. He curled into Tony a bit more nodding against him when Tony promised that he wouldn't leave and would be right there holding his hand and helping however he could. It calmed him and he looked up to meet Tony's eyes as the man told him that he wanted to meet the twins when Loki did. That caused Loki to smile thinking about meeting the twins for the first time together. "I want nothing more than that." Loki breathed. "For all of us to be together, to share all those first moments and every other moment."

Loki watched as his words softened Tony and the man truly seemed to be listening and not just brushing off his words. Tony really and truly seemed to be considering his words and the actions of the others in the mansion. When Tony finally nodded and let a faint smile appear Loki relaxed and smiled back at his mate. "It is more terrifying if you ever see her in action." Loki chuckled but smiled still as Tony pressed a kiss to his knuckles and thanked him. "I am happy to be here to remind you that that world has often been wrong about you and everything that you do. Or that you should not worry about what they think, because what they think matters not to anyone who truly cares for you. I don't understand what the parent press is." Loki finally stated.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

The reminder that Loki would always be there to remind him to ignore what others said had Tonny nodding. They’d support one another however they needed. If Tony had to remind Loki to focus on the present and on the positives, Loki would remind him to ignore the fabricated scandals and stories the media wanted to place him in the center of. The admission about not knowing what he was talking about made Tony let out a little huff. “Some journalists and writers focus on stories about families and parenting…but usually they’re criticizing how people are doing when it comes to raising their kids. They pick apart even the smallest issues. It’s ridiculous really, but it’s been the one part of the press I’ve managed to avoid so far. I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to add me to their line of fire.” He explained. Pausing then, he frowned at the realization that Loki would be in their line of fire too. “I’ll do my best to keep you out of their focus.” He said firmly, making the promise to himself more so than Loki. The god deserved the chance to raise his kids with as little interference as possible. So, if he had to keep them talking about him, he’d do it. “You shouldn’t be subjected to that at all. Even if you’re showing up beside me for functions, I’ll keep the focus off of you as a parent.”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki listened as Tony described to him the parent press and it easily made the good frown. "Do all of these writers and journalists have children of their own from which to draw their criticisms from? Or are they simply out to judge everyone they think they can with no basis of which to go off of. I cannot see why someone who has to parent a child would ever think to criticize another as long as they are not doing harm to their children. Every parent makes a misstep they do not need it pointed out to the world when I am sure they already know of what they have done." Loki grumbled. He already did not like this parent press, if the were anything like the rest of the press he was sure they would butt heads. "Better yet which of them have dealt with the children of gods?" He continued already upset over the fact that they would target his mate and watch his every move. He didn't have a doubt that they would either, the whole world seemed to watch Tony for every misstep, and it was something Loki wanted to fix as soon as he was able. That meant he would need to seek out Pepper which he would be all to happy to do if it got him what he wanted.

Tony promising to keep Loki out of the parents press had the good shaking his head but looking at his mate fondly. He should have expected that and if he had thought more on it he would have realized that was what Tony was going to do before the man had said it. "Neither should you, we shouldn't have to deal with another's judgement but we will have to. That is what comes of being a prince and what comes of being who and what you are. But we are going to be raising the twins and fenrir together. That means we will face whatever comes together not hide the other from it because that is what we are used to." Loki murmured softly. It was something they both did and something he knew they would both have to change. They needed to be united for their children because they were the first line of defense for whatever their children were going to face in the world.