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Beloved Conversationalist
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Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2013 6:54 pm
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Do Not Judge. ''You don't know what storm
I come from a household that was always filled with anger. Parents argued with dominating (and childish) personalities as long as I can remember. Somehow though, I grew from it still. Though parents got divorced and eventually became roommates again to stay alive after my father's second wife killed herself (it killed his credit, long story), I still turned out okay. I found a great husband that is loving, thoughtful, and just really balances me out and understands me. We respect each other very much and we don't yell at all a LOT of the time (very VERY rare we even fight). I'm safe and loved and where I always prayed to be living-wise as far as that goes.
But this past weekend was a dreadful wake-up call of where I came from. I was the only one in the family that would go with my father to see my Grandmother, and as much as I was looking forward to visiting smalltown where she raised my daddy and playing card games, it was ruined one of the days with a ridiculous argument between the two.
Suddenly, I saw as an adult the similarities of my Grandmother and my mother. And it was very sad and stressful that they both fought and yelled, and Grandmother couldn't understand why he was angry while egging him on with unwise remarks.
I tried to break it up and get them both leveled, but age and hard hearing on both of their sides made things difficult and I rather cried myself to sleep that night for my dad's soul (as he doesn't respond well when she brings up ''Where will you go when you die?'' and she wouldn't stop this approach) and my Grandmother's peace of mind as she was very hurt.
So, I could use just people just knowing and understanding and prayers. It makes it hard to think I will go to visit again, but that Im the only one that can or is able to play ''ref'' because I just keep on thinking ''it's family''.
Anyone would give up, and I can see why. I just feel that she may not be around much longer, and this is such a horrible way to feel your son dislikes you so and you can't understand, and as a son knowing that your mother will be gone soon but you can't seem to control your temper around her.
I need strength..
Thank you....
I've asked her to go through.'' ~God
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Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 12:54 am
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I know that "ref" position very well. In my case too, most of the turmoil is/was coming from the older generations. If it wasn't anger, it was gossip, anxiety or assuming the worst of people. Allowing such bitter feelings to fester then gave heed to more gossip and bitterness. I'll pray for you heart
Just remember, as children of God, we'll always be the one striving for peace.
Matthew 5:9 (NIV) 9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Maybe getting them alone and then talking it out rationally with them will help (look your mother's getting old, try to make peace and allow her to go without worrying about you; look, your son is stubborn, the best way to approach him about a certain matter is this way), but definitely not during/after the fight when they're riled up. People listen better when things are quiet and peaceful—and not expecting the conversation.
James 3:18 (NIV) 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.
That coupled with prayer and God's intervention through "circumstances" have brought about a lot of change in my "troublesome" family members within these 4 or so years since I started reading the bible and believed. More so in recent months. Don't give up, keep sowing in peace and something will be ready for harvest one day.
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Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 6:06 am
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Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 7:57 am
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Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 12:11 pm
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Beloved Conversationalist
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Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 5:38 pm
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real eyes realize I know that "ref" position very well. In my case too, most of the turmoil is/was coming from the older generations. If it wasn't anger, it was gossip, anxiety or assuming the worst of people. Allowing such bitter feelings to fester then gave heed to more gossip and bitterness. I'll pray for you heart Yeah, there is a bit of all that in there too, now that I rally think about it. But with other members of the family. And it's hard when trying to get straight up facts about rather serious issues because certain people gossip and fail to understand one another... and thank you very muchJust remember, as children of God, we'll always be the one striving for peace. Matthew 5:9 (NIV) 9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.I'll have to keep this close to heart these days. That is a reassuring reminder, thanks so much. heart It's just not easy I always looked up to these people and it's hard being the voice of sorting people's feelings out. But it's something you got to do sometimes when you're the closest thing to voice of reason.Maybe getting them alone and then talking it out rationally with them will help (look your mother's getting old, try to make peace and allow her to go without worrying about you; look, your son is stubborn, the best way to approach him about a certain matter is this way), but definitely not during/after the fight when they're riled up. People listen better when things are quiet and peaceful—and not expecting the conversation. Yeah, at one point I tried getting them to chill (suddenly felt like talking to two of my students fighting over a toy and about to take it away if they weren't willing to talk). You're totally right about that. I said that they need to be willing to talk. But getting one to take a walk was hard to do, but I figured that would have been best.James 3:18 (NIV) 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.That coupled with prayer and God's intervention through "circumstances" have brought about a lot of change in my "troublesome" family members within these 4 or so years since I started reading the bible and believed. More so in recent months. Don't give up, keep sowing in peace and something will be ready for harvest one day. sweatdrop I'll strive my best, and God willing until He calls her home, I'll try to make it the best when they are together. He gets so caught up in the moment, but somehow watches and listens to me when he starts to get upset. The assuring thing was the next day, he actually breathed when he would get upset and calmed down when I told him to ''take and give'' (we had a talk about learning to take the jokes that you give equally).
(bows head) Thank you so much. I will come back and glance over this post and the scripture when I need it.
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Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 5:45 pm
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Beloved Conversationalist
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Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 8:36 am
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Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 2:23 pm
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real eyes realize I know that "ref" position very well. In my case too, most of the turmoil is/was coming from the older generations. If it wasn't anger, it was gossip, anxiety or assuming the worst of people. Allowing such bitter feelings to fester then gave heed to more gossip and bitterness. I'll pray for you heart Just remember, as children of God, we'll always be the one striving for peace. Matthew 5:9 (NIV) 9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.Maybe getting them alone and then talking it out rationally with them will help (look your mother's getting old, try to make peace and allow her to go without worrying about you; look, your son is stubborn, the best way to approach him about a certain matter is this way), but definitely not during/after the fight when they're riled up. People listen better when things are quiet and peaceful—and not expecting the conversation. James 3:18 (NIV) 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.That coupled with prayer and God's intervention through "circumstances" have brought about a lot of change in my "troublesome" family members within these 4 or so years since I started reading the bible and believed. More so in recent months. Don't give up, keep sowing in peace and something will be ready for harvest one day. I agree with Maria. I have prayed about this situation as well.
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