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 Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 1:57 pm
 Gunnar hadn't seen his buddy Solv in a while, not since Solv somehow managed to knock up that chick and make a heap of cubs. That had been both surprising (Gunnar found it impossible to imagine the bard actually doing the deed with a female that wasn't a thrall) and, for some reason, irritating. Gunnar showed up at the den Solv shared with the cubs already a few berries in. "Solv!" Gunnar shouted. He picked up a handful of loose gravelly rocks from the ground and pitched them at the stone walls outside Solv's den. "Come on out here, you flowery worm!" Gunnar threw another pawful of gravel, a bit more carelessly this time. Hopefully he hadn't hit any of Solv's cubs in the face with dirt, but if he had, oh well. "Solv!"
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 3:28 pm
 Solv stumbled out of the den, shedding clinging cubs as he walked until he was unencumbered at the entrance. The den was definitely too small for two adults and all those cubs. He was going insane. Sometimes he fantasized about abandoning them all, but he wouldn't do that. His father had been a s**t, and he wouldn't do that to his own sons.
"Stormlords' balls, Gunnar. I'm right here," he grumbled. "If you hit me with one of those stupid rocks I will pop your eyes like grapes."
Despite what he said Solv was glad to see Gunnar. He was glad to see anyone who weighed more than a few pounds. Raising kids was ******** hard. He had no idea what he would have done if there had been more girls than just Tarja.
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 5:39 pm
"Oh, there you are," Gunnar said cheerfully. "Haven't seen you out and about in a while. Let's go." He wasn't going to ask about Solv's cubs. He didn't care about Solv's cubs. It would have been polite, possibly, and given Solv an opportunity to brag about how ferocious they were, but for some reason those cubs just miffed Gunnar. They miffed him. So he decided to ignore them. "I saw some thralls hauling a big bunch of berries in earlier," Gunnar said, marching off towards the location of said berries. He didn't ask to Solv to accompany him, he just assumed that the bard would follow him. "I'm going to eat berries and mint until I forget I'm married."
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 5:47 pm
"I've been..." he looked over his shoulder and crept forward a few steps. "We can talk about it later."
It was irresponsible and horrible, but to be honest responsibility wasn't really his thing. It never had been. And it was hard and there were so many babies. This was an opportunity to escape and do real grown-up things. Like get shitfaced.
"You're married?" Solv asked. He had known that, hadn't he? Or maybe he hadn't known that. Babies really did make people lose their minds. "Who cares? Let's go."
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 6:01 pm
"Right, who cares," Gunnar said fervently. He wasn't sure why he hadn't gotten rid of his wife yet. He had only claimed her to keep her away from his brother. They mostly mutually avoided each other. The Reaver had a pouch of mint around his neck, and he worked it off and handed it to Solv as they made their way for the berries. "Work on these. So what are you doing with that female? You married? How did you get that girl to marry you?" There was an edge in his voice. For some reason, it bothered him to think of Solv being married.
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 6:16 pm
Solv helped himself to the mint. Mint was a good way to start, but berries and fermented fruit would hit harder, and he would welcome that. It had been forever and a half since he did anything fun.
"Oh, Ali. She and I, I don't know. We hooked up, shacked up sometimes. It's not like we're married or anything official. But she's got my cubs, you know. I don't want my cubs raised by someone else."
What he didn't say was that he would not treat his cubs the way his father had treated him. He wanted his sons to be strong reavers, of course, but he wouldn't belittle them or...no. He would be there while they grew up.
"It's nothing...serious with Ali. I don't think. I mean, I like her and all, but marriage is a little much. I've claimed the cubs, of course. I had six boys, you know. And one girl." He was really proud of having six boys. Like, really proud.
"This is nice mint. I'm going to be such a lightweight tonight though. Because...man. I haven't had anything for at least seventy three thousand years."
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 6:59 pm
"No, definitely can't have your cubs raised by someone else," Gunnar said, as they arrived at the empty den where the berries and fruit were being stored. Gunnar sauntered in casually and swiped himself a few pawfuls. He tossed a piece of fruit in his mouth and bolted it down right then and there. Might as well get started right.
"Had four boys myself. Six is ... a lot," Gunnar said. "No wonder you haven't been getting out."
Gunnar was already feeling quite cheerful. He wondered what Solv would want to get up to. They tended to get into strange trouble. Hanging out with a drunken bard was infinitely more entertaining than hanging out with the drunken Reavers, who mostly wanted to shout at each other about their glorious battles. Gunnar reached out to clap Solv's back with a heavy paw. "You shacking up with any other lionesses? I didn't know you had it in you to shack up with the one," Gunnar teased.
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 7:11 pm
Solv had never been as bold as Gunnar, a lifetime of being everyone's punching bag having made him more cautious, so where Gunnar strode into the cave and brazenly helped himself to what he wanted, Solv looked around to make sure they were not being observed by anyone who was in a position to get them into trouble.
"I remember your cubs," Solv said with an eyeroll. Not all of them, and certainly not by name, but he remembered that they existed. Because it was polite he added, "They grew up well."
Automatically Solv shoved Gunnar's heavy paw off him. "You think I have the energy to shack up with anyone right now? By the stormlords' shitstained taint, I barely have the energy to drag myself to get food in the morning. I've thought about finding a thrall to look after the cubs so I could sleep, but that's letting someone else raise them, right?"
Ugh. He was still talking about his cubs. There had to be something else to talk about. "What about you? Disappointing any ladies lately with your epic lack of stamina?"
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 7:18 pm
"You can probably use a thrall once in a while," Gunnar said. "Teach em how to beat on thralls. You don't want em growing up all flower-blooded."
Begging Solv's pardon, of course.
"No, no ladies." Gunnar wasn't sure how he felt about admitting that. He should be bragging about his conquests, but having a strange foreign wife around all the time was a bit of a buzzkill. She was too sweet and passive. He had never been comfortable doing anything with less-than-willing ladies, and the idea of laying an unwanted paw on pretty golden Sabah just made his ears wilt.
Gunnar sighed. "People are going to start saying we're flower-blooded, Solv, my friend."
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 7:38 pm
"I just said I'm perpetually exhausted, weren't you...oh." It took a moment for Solv to realize that Gunnar meant it was okay to use a thrall to look after the cubs once in a while. Not that it was okay to use a thrall for sexy fun times. "Yeah, good point. But right now they're too little. Cubs trying to beat on grown-ups is just embarrassing for everyone involved, and I don't want thralls laughing at my cubs."
He shook his head and helped himself to some berries. They wouldn't make his thinking any clearer, but they'd probably make Gunnar's logic easier to follow. Being drunk always made Gunnar make more sense. It brought Solv down to his level, intellectually. Or something.
"Speak for yourself, musclehead. I sired six boys. There're clearly no flowers in my blood. Or my seed. No flowers in my seed at all."
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Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 3:59 pm
Gunnar wrinkled his nose in an exaggerated expression of disgust. "No flowers in your, in your..." Gunnar couldn't help it, he burst into laughter. "You're horrible, bard."
Gunnar could have teased him about his boys possibly turning into flowery bards like Solv himself, but Solv would probably take great offense. Gunnar thought Solvtorn was pricklier than his Reaver friends. Where a Reaver might simply try to swat you for an insult, Solv would let it fester. It must be a difficult life, being a bard.
"So, are we stealing any horrible hats tonight?"
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Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 4:05 pm
"That was brilliant," Solv argued through a faint haze. The intoxicants were kicking in. "Utterly. Brilliant."
Solv rolled his shoulders and considered the question far more seriously than it probably warranted. Intoxicated, he knew he was prone to making bad decisions, so it seemed prudent to very carefully consider any decision he made. That resolve probably wouldn't last very long if the two of them continued to imbibe, but right now he wasn't so drunk he couldn't try not to humiliate himself.
"I think we should not steal hats unless you are in need of one. In that case, it is absolutely imperative that we acquire one. But I think trickery would be a safer bet than theft. You are too large to sneak."
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:11 am
Gunnar didn't need a had, and he definitely didn't want a hat if it was going to look like that horrible zebra head. "Hmmf," he said. He picked the peel off a piece of fruit with his claws, thinking, and then ate it.
"I know," Gunnar said. "I'll teach you to fight." He was hazily sure he had tried to teach Solv a few tricks once upon a time, but if he had they hadn't stuck. "So you can teach your cubs to fight. So thralls won't laugh at them."
Gunnar snorted at that. Thralls laughing at Freeborn cubs. How terrible.
He realized he had sunk down onto the floor while he chewed on fruit, and rose up again. Without warning, he lunged at Solv, trying to jump on top of the other lion to force him to the ground.
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:18 am
Solv's instinct was to argue that he didn't need to learn how to fight. Bards didn't fight. Not with their claws. They fought with their words. How many times was Solv going to have to explain this to Gunnar?
Then he remembered his resolve to carefully think through any decisions he made while imbibing. He thought about his sons, and how proud he was of producing them, and how he intended for them to grow up and be mighty warriors. He thought about the shame of having someone else teach them the rudiments of battle. It was a fact that they would have to learn the finer points from someone else, but a father should be able to instruct his sons in the basics of fighting, at the very least, and at present Solv wouldn't trust himself to do that.
"No thrall is going to laugh at my sons! Atooh!" That last sound was the sound he made spitting out the fruit he was about to swallow. It had been his first and only instinct when being attacked. Don't choke on the fruit.
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:42 am
Solv was too easy to take down. It was hardly sporting. Gunnar had never been a fan of beating up those too -- sorry, Solv -- weak to defend themselves. Not when at home, at least. On raids, that was simply what you did.
"Put up a struggle at least," Gunnar complained, sitting on top of the smaller lion. Solv was probably feeling thoroughly squashed right now, but that was no excuse for not giving a proper fight. "Never give up! First lesson."
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