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 Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 4:02 pm
Ok, gonna try to keep this brief. I'm trans. Born female, feel male. 4 months ago, finally got mastectomy (though main reason was to prevent breast cancer due to family history).
Anyhoo, I now pretty much pass as a guy in looks, or at least most people who see me think I'm a guy, which is great. Unfortunately, the moment I open my mouth and talk, the illusion is broken.
Because of this, I have finally decided that I'm gonna go on hormone replacement therapy, though only for no more than a year (due to my family history of cancer), in order to get my voice lower.
Now, usually to get put on hormones, you gotta go to a therapist, see 'em for a year (if not more), get diagnosed with Gender Identitiy Disorder (or GID), then get a letter that allows you to get put on hormones.
There are many problems with this. Firstly, I only have insurance for 6 more months (unless I get a job, possibly). Also, since my insurance covered my mastectomy for cancer, if I suddenly get diagnosed with GID, they might think I was lyin' or got the surgery for other reasons and that will not only possibly get me in trouble, but it could affect the rest of my family if they seek preventative tactics for cancer.
SO, after much research for many many days, I have finally found a place that follows a new method of informed consent for administering hormones, which does not require a therapist or any mental disorder diagnosis. Better still, it's in Washington D.C., which I live relatively close to!
I also have a friend, who is an active member in the LGBT community, who works in D.C. and has offered to help me, since I get lost really easily in D.C.
With any luck, I plan to go to the health center by this week, or at least call tomorrow and schedule the earliest appointment I can.
So yeah, super super excited!
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 6:04 pm
Gaia needs a high-five emoticon. *high-five*
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 11:19 pm
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Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2014 1:21 am
Exciting news that you haven't replied to my PM yet. Wonderful. You are soo awesome. stare
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Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2014 5:03 am
that's awesome. congrats and hope all goes well.
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Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2014 6:42 am
Called the place this mornin' and, as I expected, I gotta wait a while before I can go. The next available appointment was July 28th, so I took it.
Now I gotta figure out how to get there. I'm tempted to come back down to my parents' house the weekend before, since they live closer to D.C. and because there's a commuter bus they take that goes straight there.
Only other issue is that I am usin' my dad's insurance for this, so my parents will be notified and they will find out, so I'm debatin' on tellin' them or just waitin' until they get somethin' from the insurance company and tellin' them then.
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Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2014 4:10 pm
Go to meeting then tell, but before notice? That way they can't prevent but they feel like you told them rather than it just being a surprise....
Anyway, hooray!
But don't get *too* testosterone-y. You'll get all hairy and aggressive and want to smash things. (not a scientific opinion at all)
It's silly, but singing helps with voice range. If you don't mind being heard singing, play rockband or just sing along to songs at the lower end of your voice register...
And/or look up how-to youtube videos about voice acting. There are techniques to opening up your lower register more easily.
Things to do while ya wait for the treatment to begin.
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Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 6:36 am
KazeRin Go to meeting then tell, but before notice? That way they can't prevent but they feel like you told them rather than it just being a surprise.... Anyway, hooray! But don't get *too* testosterone-y. You'll get all hairy and aggressive and want to smash things. (not a scientific opinion at all) It's silly, but singing helps with voice range. If you don't mind being heard singing, play rockband or just sing along to songs at the lower end of your voice register... And/or look up how-to youtube videos about voice acting. There are techniques to opening up your lower register more easily. Things to do while ya wait for the treatment to begin. Hmmmm, that's a good thought. I've been askin' a lot of my friends for advice and all of them have said for me to tell them beforehand, but I'm just worried that my parents will take me off of their insurance, which I think is all they really could do to try to stop me. Also, I only plan to be on testosterone for as long as it takes for my voice to be deep enough to pass, then I'm goin' off of it. I am a bit worried about possibly gettin' a sex drive, because I hear that when asexuals go on hormones and get a sex drive, it isn't directed at anythin', so they go kinda nuts. Luckily, that is also somethin' that is reversible when you go off hormones. I've heard about singin' helpin', but I'm really shy singin' in front of others, and in my apartment there's always someone in the house at any given time, so I don't know if I'd be able to do that. As unhealthy as it is, alcohol also gives me a lower voice, though usually that's only the mornin' after. I've been tryin' to just talk deeper and get used to it, but I automatically talk high pitch whenever I get nervous. Tryin' to kick that habit.
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Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 6:37 am
The alcohol thing is due to you straining your voice. People tend to talk louder and not notice any mild irritation associated with vocal strain, while inebriated.
Talking lower effectively has to do with working the diaphragm and expanding the chest. there are techniques beyond just tryin' to talk all deep.
Ohms (like meditation oooohhmmm) use that deeper resonance. Do a few quietly and try to explore how to talk that way. You need to focus on using that resonance in your chest, and avoid moving out of it and back into a regular talking voice... Trying to talk louder tends to push you back into your regular voice.
I use it very lightly to have a softer-sounding voice. And unconsciously while using a British accent.. or speak Japanese. Now that I'm thinking about it. But not for French or English normally.
If yer' doin' it right, you'll feel more vibration at the top of your chest than when speaking normally. You're essentially using your singing muscles.
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Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 10:22 pm
Ok, so I'm a bit heavily drugged from a knee injury now, but I thought I'd talk about how I told my parents of my plans to start testosterone.
At first, Ijust told my mom that I wanted to tak to her when she had time, since she was eatin' dinner, and then she asked what it was bout, I said what it was about, and she just gave me this angry look, sighed, and said "We'll talk later" very seriously.
Because of that, I ended up possibly drinkin' a bit too much that night, but whatever.
Anyhoo, next day, I actually did talk to my mom, and I explained how, because of the various health risks, I only planned to be on testosterone for no more than a year, if even that, and that made her feel a bit better about it. Also, I did my besto to explain what it means to be transgendered, but she just doesn't get it.
My mom then said that she had told my dad, and my dad just responded by sayin' he didn't want to talk about it, like at all.
However, later on my mom, dad, and I went to a liquor store and I saw some pennies on the ground by the door and reached down for them, almost gettin' my head slammed into the door. My dad responded with "You're definitely my daughter...or should I not use that anymore?" in a very carin' way, to which I responded by sayin' that if he didn't feel comfortable callin' me his son, he didn't have to, but he then said that he loves me no matter what and just worries aobut my health if I was to go on testosterone, to which I let him know that I only planned to go on it for no more than a year. So yeah, that was an awesome moment for me and made me really happy.
Ok, and then finally today I talked more with my mom about how careful I'm bein' and how much research I'm doin', just like what I did with the mastectomy, and I showed her the website of the place I'd be goin' to, as well as their section for transgendered health to help show how professional they are. Then, my mom was on the phone with her sister (my aunt) and told her about what I was plannin' on doin', and my aunt pretty much said that she completely supported it and that my happiness is what mattered, which seemed to help my mom accept it too.
So yeah, family, though wary, doesn't seem to be tryin' to stop me. My brother is also cool with it, and just said that it's all my choice, so Woo!
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Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 11:33 am
Little update, because I can.
Went to my appointment today, talked to some folks, got a physical, and got some blood work done. As long as the blood work shows no problems, which I don't think it would, I'm scheduled to go back tomorrow mornin' and start HRT right away!
However, when I told my parents, my dad started to tear up. Apparently he's worried that I'll become a different person. So he isn't really upset about the transition of female to male, minus the health risks, I think he's more worried that I won't end up as the same person personality wise. While testosterone may make me a bit more aggresive, though, it doesn't change one's personality. I wish my dad would understand that so he wouldn't be so upset.
My mom also tried to bribe me and said that she'd give me $10,000 if I didn't go through with it, but then instantly took it back and admitted that that wasn't fair, since I'm desperate for money right now.
But yeah, besides my parents still being quite upset, things are lookin' up!
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Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 1:42 pm
And thus it begins!  Must say, though, I didn't know you had to jam the entire needle into your thigh when injectin' testosterone. I thought it just had to be the tip. Gonna be super fun, but I only need to do it once every 2 weeks.
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Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 1:20 am
good luck sticking yourself with a needle. it'd freak me out. and congrats on actually getting it
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Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 8:05 am
I did my first injection on the 29th, and it did take me quite a while to finally build up the courage to jab myself with the needle to the point where it goes all the way in. My one roommate, who's a nurse, was there to help, though, which was nice.
It actually didn't hurt as much as I'd thought, it just felt weird, such as what you'd think it would feel like to be sliddin' somethin' into your muscle.
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