A dusty orange figure sat perched on a low hanging tree branch before pulling himself to an upper limb. It was small for his weight, but then again, Izinhliziyo was not a large leopard. He was faster, though, so when it moved to snap beneath him he kicked off from the trunk, sailing through the bright morning sky before landing on a branch in an opposing tree. He flipped his mane tuft out of his eyes and chuffed. Where WAS that mate of his?
Weaving her way between the trees Nia was enjoying the quiet of the area. It was unusual for the leopardess to be awake with the morning sun, but today she had felt restless. So now she moved where ever her paws took her. It just happened that her paws brought her under the same tree that Izin had just jumped too. Nia's surprise turned into a warm smile as she recognized the familiar shape, "Izin?" Tilting her head up the golden gaze sought his, "Up so early?"
Looking down to see his mother, Izin gave a surprised little smile that ended with the poised leopard laying on the branch. He dangled one paw over the same side his head now lay so that he could see her more clearly. "I'm not a night person, so this is my time to shine." He reported with as bright as smile as the sun, though he still looked around for a famliar form. When he didn't see her, he sighed. "Have you...by chance seen any of my little family this morning?" Usually one of his cubs would tell him where there mother was, but today...
Nia chuckled, "So it's not just you avoiding me?" Teasingly the leopardess clawed at a tree's bark sharpening her claws before prepping to jump up into a nearby branch.The wobbling put her off for a split second before she regained her balance. So maybe it had been a while since she had tried the high life. But her pride kept her on the branch despite the slight discomfort, "I'll never know how you keep to this shining life."
Tail twitching over the branch, "Your family?" Nia frowned thoughtfully, "Sorry Izin. I've been alone this morning since most went out for the day or are still sleeping. Do you want me to go look for them?" Her golden gaze was curious and wanting to be helpful, "I don't mind exploring around for your lovelies."
There was a shuffle on his end as Izinhliziyo moved to better situate himself. He was more poised in the higher branches than he was on the ground. It was easy to forget how small, and easily forgettable he really was down there, but up here he was as large as a God. "Old habits die hard, I guess." It was hard to forget that he was an early riser in the pride of his birth, as much as he tried to. He tried not to let his disappointment show, but it was hard not to. His story time romance was at it's ends and with every passing day that Haracha went with this avoidance of hers killed him. "No, it's alright, really. The young ones are probably off in their own wolrds and...." He sputtered, lowering his head once more. "I think Haracha wants to leave."
"I suppose so." Nia laughed softly as she settled down on her branch. Unlike those who chose the morning and day life Nia had always kept to the shadows of night. Either way though she loved all her cubs equally and trusted most now not to get into too much mischeif while she slept during the day sun. Her heart went out to her sons though whenever troubles beheld them though and as Izin looked towards her the ache was there.
"I've learned from experience that young ones tend to do that." Commented Nia quietly with amusement before her gaze dimmed in worry, "Are you certain Izin?" The leopardess moved up on her branch as she tried to look closely at her son, "Is that really her heart right now?" It was possible, but Nia was ever hopeful. Perhaps something else was amiss?
What was he to think anymore, when his world had been turned on it's end like this? "She told me from the first day that she could never love me. It isn't in her to open up to another and in truth she's never been affectionate. I wanted her to, and I said it enough, but she....she just wasn't in it like I am." Izin snorted and buried his face in his paws on a groan. In some many ways he was still a young, wayward cub looking for answers in this crazy life. "I thought she might change when she had the cubs, but it just made her antsy. I can't keep her here if she really wants to go. I couldn't."
Nia's expression softened as she watched her son, "Izin...I'm sorry." The leopard's golden eyes shimmered like honey, "But sometimes it does happen that some souls can't be tied down." If they weren't on tree branches the leopardess would have nuzzled him for comfort, "No matter how much love you pour out on them sometimes it just can't be returned."
Her heart broke for him though. What if Abra had turned out the same way? She could have never been without his strong presence in her life...no matter how strong she stood on her own...without him the world seemed so bleak, "I guess it's her choice after all. If she wishes to leave then she should. Don't worry little one you won't be alone in this. We'll be here for you. She'll be a fool to leave such a handsome leopard though." Nia smiled warmly, "But maybe just maybe you'll have your chance to find someone who can find that love to turn back to you."
"Unlike these old bones here you still have plenty of life to live." She added attempting a light smile, "But don't forget even if she won't be here her spirit and memory can give you light to live on. Plus she gave you one of the greatest gifts around...cubs to love even as adults they are still a family to love and to cherish."
Izin shook his head and turned his green eyes to the ground below rather than to look at his mother. He couldn't handle the look of heart break in her eyes. It reflected only a little of the hurt he'd been living with for so long. He had been living a lie behind smiles and an open personality. Begging, pleading, screaming, fighting...he couldn't remember a time that he and Haracha had actually had a civil conversation. Much less a happy one.
"I'm not strong like you, mother, I can't-" Izin choked on his words, aware that he was on the edge of losing it. His eyes already burned. "I can't go on if she leaves me. I don't care if it sounds dramatic, it's the truth! I can't be by myself." He had tried explaining that to Tendaji when he had questioned his younger brother on his choices. Tendaji had been concerned, and Safi had even attacked her to get her to leave, but always Izin made excuses. "She's abusive, she has to leave!"
His younger brother was smarter than he was, and even as he laughed, Izin cried. He knew it to be true, but he didn't want it to change one bit. "You're right, I'm not alone, but I feel like I am. I have to wonder how many of my cubs will stay. So many have left already..." All he had now was his precious daughter, and a few of his sons. His daughters had already branched out into the world.
"Oh love." Nia's gaze burned for her son as she clawed into the tree branch. If she wasn't a mother herself or one who used to have such a free spirit before finding her true love the leopardess would be more vengeful towards the other female. How she could have stayed with Izin like that knowing that she couldn't love him...it bothered her so much. Despite Izin's tears his mother was half tempted to make certain this other leopardess could disappear so the poor boy could move on.
"I wish you could understand that you can be so much stronger." The leopard purred softly, "I know you are hurting now, but it doesn't always mean you will be. Even if you feel alone that just means I should knock ya on the head for that thought. Look around silly. I'm here and so are others. Even if all your cubs aren't here in body in spirit they'll think of you in their lives as they move on and travel. Some may even come back some days to see the family." She smiled knowingly. After all had she not sent many out in to the world?
Nia smiled, "Plus you'll never know what's waiting for you. I have hopes after all." She paused, "But if you need then cry it if you must. Get it out, love."
Izin shook his head. "It isn't possible. I'm just not that strong." The way he said it held a finality to it. He was resigned to his life of loveless romance, though he had dreamed of so much as a cub. It was why Rynskald had picked on him so much, and probably why he fell in love with a female who couldn't' tolerate his presence anymore. What would his father have to say about it? Which one? In his hour of need his mind was at it's cruelest. Both would think him weak, though only one would call him so. The other would make up niceties like his mother.
"I think if you knocked me out I might have to thank you." He cracked a little grin, but it was hollow. In the distance he could see the familiar shape of Xabryel, and running behind him in comical chase was Safi. How he envied his brother. He'd had his heart broken, and done much the same to so many females, but still he remained open. Why? Why did it have to be Safi?
"I don't think I could cry if I wanted to. I think I've forgotten how." He felt like sobbing, but it wouldn't come out. Maybe he was too numb for it? Turning his gaze to his mother for the first time, he leaned against the tree trunk. "How you ever put up with me, I'll never understand."
"If only you could believe it...but I once said the same words myself." Once...what felt like ages ago the leopardess thought she was going to give up on so much. How funny that now it was her son's turn to lament in a similar way. But hsi romance...this romance...it did seem to be at a final ending.
"At this rate I might have to knock you out." Nia mused, "Though no telling where I would drop your body off at so let's hope that I don't resort to that idea." Perhaps in a den of snakes to get some energy back into his bones? Or better yet a den of single females? That one might be more helpful...
"I put up with you a whole lot easier than what you would think. Come on now Izin." The leopardess braced herself before jumping from her perch onto the ground, "If you can't cry then run. We can go hunting and you can focus on your prey for now rather than on your heart." And maybe if they were fortunate a random encounter of some sort might also pick up Izin's spirits. After all had she not had much fortune while hunting during her times of need? Both emotionally and physically....it was her only hope that hunting could provide the same for her son.
Sometimes Izin really had to look at Nia and wonder what had shaped her. She seemed so poised and confident; the strong mother who could not be wronged. Still, he knew she was no different than he.
He shook his head on a sad little chuckle. Standing, he stretched out his tired bones and leapt down to join her on the ground. He would take the release, no matter the type, if that meant an end to his heart ache. Who knew, he might even get done in.
Weaving her way between the trees Nia was enjoying the quiet of the area. It was unusual for the leopardess to be awake with the morning sun, but today she had felt restless. So now she moved where ever her paws took her. It just happened that her paws brought her under the same tree that Izin had just jumped too. Nia's surprise turned into a warm smile as she recognized the familiar shape, "Izin?" Tilting her head up the golden gaze sought his, "Up so early?"
Looking down to see his mother, Izin gave a surprised little smile that ended with the poised leopard laying on the branch. He dangled one paw over the same side his head now lay so that he could see her more clearly. "I'm not a night person, so this is my time to shine." He reported with as bright as smile as the sun, though he still looked around for a famliar form. When he didn't see her, he sighed. "Have you...by chance seen any of my little family this morning?" Usually one of his cubs would tell him where there mother was, but today...
Nia chuckled, "So it's not just you avoiding me?" Teasingly the leopardess clawed at a tree's bark sharpening her claws before prepping to jump up into a nearby branch.The wobbling put her off for a split second before she regained her balance. So maybe it had been a while since she had tried the high life. But her pride kept her on the branch despite the slight discomfort, "I'll never know how you keep to this shining life."
Tail twitching over the branch, "Your family?" Nia frowned thoughtfully, "Sorry Izin. I've been alone this morning since most went out for the day or are still sleeping. Do you want me to go look for them?" Her golden gaze was curious and wanting to be helpful, "I don't mind exploring around for your lovelies."
There was a shuffle on his end as Izinhliziyo moved to better situate himself. He was more poised in the higher branches than he was on the ground. It was easy to forget how small, and easily forgettable he really was down there, but up here he was as large as a God. "Old habits die hard, I guess." It was hard to forget that he was an early riser in the pride of his birth, as much as he tried to. He tried not to let his disappointment show, but it was hard not to. His story time romance was at it's ends and with every passing day that Haracha went with this avoidance of hers killed him. "No, it's alright, really. The young ones are probably off in their own wolrds and...." He sputtered, lowering his head once more. "I think Haracha wants to leave."
"I suppose so." Nia laughed softly as she settled down on her branch. Unlike those who chose the morning and day life Nia had always kept to the shadows of night. Either way though she loved all her cubs equally and trusted most now not to get into too much mischeif while she slept during the day sun. Her heart went out to her sons though whenever troubles beheld them though and as Izin looked towards her the ache was there.
"I've learned from experience that young ones tend to do that." Commented Nia quietly with amusement before her gaze dimmed in worry, "Are you certain Izin?" The leopardess moved up on her branch as she tried to look closely at her son, "Is that really her heart right now?" It was possible, but Nia was ever hopeful. Perhaps something else was amiss?
What was he to think anymore, when his world had been turned on it's end like this? "She told me from the first day that she could never love me. It isn't in her to open up to another and in truth she's never been affectionate. I wanted her to, and I said it enough, but she....she just wasn't in it like I am." Izin snorted and buried his face in his paws on a groan. In some many ways he was still a young, wayward cub looking for answers in this crazy life. "I thought she might change when she had the cubs, but it just made her antsy. I can't keep her here if she really wants to go. I couldn't."
Nia's expression softened as she watched her son, "Izin...I'm sorry." The leopard's golden eyes shimmered like honey, "But sometimes it does happen that some souls can't be tied down." If they weren't on tree branches the leopardess would have nuzzled him for comfort, "No matter how much love you pour out on them sometimes it just can't be returned."
Her heart broke for him though. What if Abra had turned out the same way? She could have never been without his strong presence in her life...no matter how strong she stood on her own...without him the world seemed so bleak, "I guess it's her choice after all. If she wishes to leave then she should. Don't worry little one you won't be alone in this. We'll be here for you. She'll be a fool to leave such a handsome leopard though." Nia smiled warmly, "But maybe just maybe you'll have your chance to find someone who can find that love to turn back to you."
"Unlike these old bones here you still have plenty of life to live." She added attempting a light smile, "But don't forget even if she won't be here her spirit and memory can give you light to live on. Plus she gave you one of the greatest gifts around...cubs to love even as adults they are still a family to love and to cherish."
Izin shook his head and turned his green eyes to the ground below rather than to look at his mother. He couldn't handle the look of heart break in her eyes. It reflected only a little of the hurt he'd been living with for so long. He had been living a lie behind smiles and an open personality. Begging, pleading, screaming, fighting...he couldn't remember a time that he and Haracha had actually had a civil conversation. Much less a happy one.
"I'm not strong like you, mother, I can't-" Izin choked on his words, aware that he was on the edge of losing it. His eyes already burned. "I can't go on if she leaves me. I don't care if it sounds dramatic, it's the truth! I can't be by myself." He had tried explaining that to Tendaji when he had questioned his younger brother on his choices. Tendaji had been concerned, and Safi had even attacked her to get her to leave, but always Izin made excuses. "She's abusive, she has to leave!"
His younger brother was smarter than he was, and even as he laughed, Izin cried. He knew it to be true, but he didn't want it to change one bit. "You're right, I'm not alone, but I feel like I am. I have to wonder how many of my cubs will stay. So many have left already..." All he had now was his precious daughter, and a few of his sons. His daughters had already branched out into the world.
"Oh love." Nia's gaze burned for her son as she clawed into the tree branch. If she wasn't a mother herself or one who used to have such a free spirit before finding her true love the leopardess would be more vengeful towards the other female. How she could have stayed with Izin like that knowing that she couldn't love him...it bothered her so much. Despite Izin's tears his mother was half tempted to make certain this other leopardess could disappear so the poor boy could move on.
"I wish you could understand that you can be so much stronger." The leopard purred softly, "I know you are hurting now, but it doesn't always mean you will be. Even if you feel alone that just means I should knock ya on the head for that thought. Look around silly. I'm here and so are others. Even if all your cubs aren't here in body in spirit they'll think of you in their lives as they move on and travel. Some may even come back some days to see the family." She smiled knowingly. After all had she not sent many out in to the world?
Nia smiled, "Plus you'll never know what's waiting for you. I have hopes after all." She paused, "But if you need then cry it if you must. Get it out, love."
Izin shook his head. "It isn't possible. I'm just not that strong." The way he said it held a finality to it. He was resigned to his life of loveless romance, though he had dreamed of so much as a cub. It was why Rynskald had picked on him so much, and probably why he fell in love with a female who couldn't' tolerate his presence anymore. What would his father have to say about it? Which one? In his hour of need his mind was at it's cruelest. Both would think him weak, though only one would call him so. The other would make up niceties like his mother.
"I think if you knocked me out I might have to thank you." He cracked a little grin, but it was hollow. In the distance he could see the familiar shape of Xabryel, and running behind him in comical chase was Safi. How he envied his brother. He'd had his heart broken, and done much the same to so many females, but still he remained open. Why? Why did it have to be Safi?
"I don't think I could cry if I wanted to. I think I've forgotten how." He felt like sobbing, but it wouldn't come out. Maybe he was too numb for it? Turning his gaze to his mother for the first time, he leaned against the tree trunk. "How you ever put up with me, I'll never understand."
"If only you could believe it...but I once said the same words myself." Once...what felt like ages ago the leopardess thought she was going to give up on so much. How funny that now it was her son's turn to lament in a similar way. But hsi romance...this romance...it did seem to be at a final ending.
"At this rate I might have to knock you out." Nia mused, "Though no telling where I would drop your body off at so let's hope that I don't resort to that idea." Perhaps in a den of snakes to get some energy back into his bones? Or better yet a den of single females? That one might be more helpful...
"I put up with you a whole lot easier than what you would think. Come on now Izin." The leopardess braced herself before jumping from her perch onto the ground, "If you can't cry then run. We can go hunting and you can focus on your prey for now rather than on your heart." And maybe if they were fortunate a random encounter of some sort might also pick up Izin's spirits. After all had she not had much fortune while hunting during her times of need? Both emotionally and physically....it was her only hope that hunting could provide the same for her son.
Sometimes Izin really had to look at Nia and wonder what had shaped her. She seemed so poised and confident; the strong mother who could not be wronged. Still, he knew she was no different than he.
He shook his head on a sad little chuckle. Standing, he stretched out his tired bones and leapt down to join her on the ground. He would take the release, no matter the type, if that meant an end to his heart ache. Who knew, he might even get done in.
(WC: 2081)
