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I take too much pills in such.

https://youtu.be/em328ua_Lo8
IN this video at 41 seconds is what I feel like sometimes. Shaking. I take soo many pills to feel good. I feel drugged up all the time. Few days ago we went to a haunted house and I didn’t get scared at all. Nothing. My emotions are numbed.

Also I feel weird like I’m a robot or something.
https://youtu.be/A0OirG7yBTc
I feel like the guy in the video. I could just stare blankly at someone or something like guy in the video. People talk to me I just have his exact look only saying stuff if I have to. People sometimes think I look weird and that something is wrong with me. Feel like I’m in a trance.

burning_eyes

I hope having dark brown eyes doesn’t matter.
But my eyes are soo dark.
https://goo.gl/images/dKikJw
Like this woman, her eyes are like black like she has too much melanin in her eyes. Does having more or less melanin matter in eyes? I heard it impacts brightness where light eyes sees things brighter tint where they go outside and it’s too bright they can’t beat it, where a person with dark eyes will go outside and the brightness doesn’t bother her. Heard having dark eyes is like having built in sunglasses, I mean look at the girl in the pic link, it looks like she’s wearing sun contacts rather than sunglasses cuz her eyes are soo dark.

https://youtu.be/XTf0xXQKvK0

In this video, most of it. I want to see like that, exactly like that. Right at start of video, I want my vision to be like that and I’ll do whatever it takes to get there. Especially at 3:11 in the video.

It’s like the camera is how someone sees the world but that person has tunnel vision where they have no peripheral vision and they see like they are looking through a tunnel. But soo much distortion, I hope some people don’t see like that. I mean look at the wall in video, it’s like a ball but we all know it’s supposed to be like square/rectangle no round ball bulge, but the person if they see like this? Oh my, gives me a headache. I can imagine if a person may see like that video all their life so it’s normal to them, I mean it’s not that weird, but O.o, soo dizzy. I probably do see like that video like when I’m high or drunk, cuz I focus my vision when I’m high and the door frame lines like do ( if I put it in my peripheral, then goes to | then ) again like it’s dancing. Then I feel dizzy when I get up and almost trip and run into walls, I’m soo weird. Probably cuz I see like that video and also the tove lo video for habits stay high and don’t realize it. Uh uhhh, uh uhhhhh. (That’s what the voice sounds like when the tove lo video starts.) I’m such a druggie, I just gotta stay high all the time don’t forget I’m missing you, oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh, high all the time. Can’t go on alone again, please I need someone to numb my pain. Oh wait I have, Oh No my pain has been numbed. Ohh soo dizzy, wall looks like a ball... Oh No soo weird and dizzzz... *passes out*

*wakes up* Raaaaaaaaawr.. hiss. I like hiss at people or kinda roar slightly like a zombie if they piss me off. Haaaaaaaa, like a zombie.

Oh god my heart is palpitating like crazy. eek Help me. My heart. Soo intense. Make it stop. Please. Oh god help me.
I hope it stops. I want it to stop.

I just looked in the mirror closely and saw that I have lines on my forehead even when I don’t raise my eyebrows. eek Its weird, but I knew it cuz at like work I can feel my eyebrows raising all the time. If I keep it up I’ll have forehead lines even without my eyebrows raised. I look like a druggie.

Im gonna end up like that shaking girl. My nerves are probably dying cuz I literally almost have like no reflexes. Doctor couldn’t get my legs to jerk like at all when he hit me on the knee.