[prp]Barbie World? [Zac/Temperance]

[endejester]

He woke up, half sure that it had just been a dream. He sat up and rubbed his eyes and realized it felt strange; so very strange.

He pulled his hand back and looked at it, it lacked, well, texture for lack of a better word, for a moment it was plastic. Skin, fingers, nails – all plastic.

“Oh…god.” He said feeling numb in a way that had nothing to do with the plastic that had shifted back to flesh.

Maybe, maybe he should talk to someone about this.

“Idiot…” he swore as he changed clothes and swore again remembering his phone was missing, thanks to a certain thief.

“Idiot… what happened to never make deals with Other Creatures? “

He headed out the door seeking friendly faces.

The Semblance of Unity

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

Temperance poked at the dark circles she knew were under her eyes as she walked. She'd just been to the grocery store and carried her bag with her (the contents of which were predominantly spicy ramen; a girl had needs). And because it was non-perishable, she was taking the scenic route when she saw Zac. Speeding up, she headed over to him.

"Hey, Zac - how are y-..." She paused and looked closely at his face. "You don't look so well."

endejester

 

[endejester]

“I… yeah.” He said hesitantly. “I feel a bit…” He looked concerned, distracted.
“I mean, it said they could… that I wouldn’t…” He bit his lip not sure he wanted to explain his choices.
“I mean, my hand was – but it changed back and –“ he stared at his hand and it was still flesh, but there was a piece of his arm that was, well… it felt off for a moment and he suspected he knew why.

The Semblance of Unity

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

Temperance's brows drew together. "Zac, what's wrong - what happened? Slowly, like making a list, okay." His words didn't actually make any sense as they were. His hand looked fine - but had the weird silver that seeped into his skin acted up?

Reaching out, she took him by the arm to guide him towards some nearby benches and froze. His arm felt... wrong. "Zac."

endejester

i hope grabbing him is ok ;;

 

[endejester]

He flinched looking apologetic. “I…. I may have done something – agreed to smething. We –“ He broke off and shook his head “-they said – they said they know things, that they protect, and – and…”

He looked scared and lost.

“They, said I called to them, that I drew them.”

He was going to have to sit down and explain to her, but he was reluctant to or at least scared of what she might do.

The Semblance of Unity

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

"Zac did you.... did you make a deal with something?" She shook her head at his frightened expression. "I'm not going to be mad at you, but please tell me what happened to you." Temperance was far more liable to mad at whatever had approached him. She continued to pull him to the benches and sat down. Zac had been there for her before and he needed something, someone now. She didn't think she'd ever seen him so scared. Usually, he was curious, bright, knows a bit about everything Zac.

endejester

 

[endejester]

He followed her, nervous, tired, scared, stumbling to take a seat on the benches.
He sat there for an age perhaps, staring at his hands like he might find an answer there but none was forthcoming no answer beyond what he already knew.

So He told her, he told her from the start, hesitantly at first but with at least marginally more ease as the story progressed, why he’d felt down, lost, going to other Ashdown, feeling followed, going back and meeting them, it, the ‘us’ that was whispering in the back of his mind.
He told her how they had promised that he would simply be more himself, but it didn’t feel that way right now.

Right now it felt like he was slowly drowning perhaps in a loss of self.

How he’d woken up back in Ashdown regular, and found himself changed, or changing.
He watched her then, anxious, he knew he shouldn’t have done what he did, but…

The Semblance of Unity

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

Temperance listened in silence, her face growing wan. She could understand his thoughts, his feelings, and his desire to bother escape in a way, to be better. She was mad at him, though, for trusting the faceless, and madder still at them. The faceless had taken advantage of his vulnerable feelings to manipulate him into choosing something.

"What do you want, Zac? If you... if this continues, you won't be you anymore." He'd be a faceless, which she was sure they had argued there was nothing better than a hive mind. "You'll be one of them, but that's not Zac." If Zac said yes, he wanted this... well, Temperance wished she could say she'd let him decide.

endejester

 

[endejester]

“I don’t… I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to not be me, even if I’d managed to trade places with Heliodora – I still would have been me.” He took a shaking breath and let it out.
“And they said I’d be more, not … but I’m not very good at anything. I mean every time I try something I get ignored, or if I think maybe I should try anyhow I don’t move fast enough. I guess I thought maybe I could be more effective if I knew more but I just feel… “

he shook his head.

“Lost and strange.” He dragged hands through his hair, making static because one finger briefly changed to plastic again.

“They said I could say no… I- guess I’m just scared that maybe that was a lie.”

The Semblance of Unity

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

"But you are good at things! You're information and new ideas and things that the backwards alternate Ashdown needs. People not... not listening isn't your fault. Heliodora wasn't your fault." Temperance frowned. She was never exactly good at comforting people, but Zac needed to know he was more than he thought he was.

"It's ... I think everyone feels lost; it has to be normal considering what we're faced with." His face flickered briefly and her mouth tightened. "Regardless of anything else, you need... you need to go back to them. To tell them no, once and for all."

endejester

 

[endejester]

“That’s just it… I’m not.” he exclaimed. “I’m not that good, I was willing to – to become what I guess ‘Fetch-Jer’ called being a martyr. Maybe he was right. But it would have been better, she said she wanted to go home, I think she should have.

“And… and I mean you didn’t make it back in time, and you got the little skull, and you saw something awful imprisoned. But I didn’t even do that. I was so late, I failed so…damned much that I don’t even know who did it. We broke the cage, and that’s three times I didn’t push hard enough. I didn’t think we should do the elevator and Michael, and maybe he wouldn’t have died. I wanted us all to offer blood, but I didn’t start cutting… and now, now I don’t even…. I don’t even know what happened. I have a rock stuck in my hand, I know the name of another missing kid, and I still failed her. I don’t know what else to do with myself. They offered me purpose., meaning… I don’t … I don’t HAVE that anymore. I don’t even know where to find it.”

The Semblance of Unity

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

"Don't become a martyr, Zac. Do you know what martyrs do? They die and you can't help anyone if you're dead. You are good because you've kept trying." She rubbed his arm slowly, comfortingly.

"The ball..." she carried her own weight from then, too, and that made it harder to explain away his. "Blackfriar's, Heliodora - some things are out of your control. You fought against the... the mob mentality, but it doesn't change so easily. It's not your fault." And, like he had before, she drew him into a hug.

"So become better, not this, not throwing away who you are. Find magic, keep your books close because you are so, so smart, Zac. I know you're lost, but please don't take their purpose as your own. They... they can be so cruel."

endejester

 

[endejester]

“Michael, Adoelle, Heliodora.” He said, their names like a mantra, a prayer. “It’s what they ended up, it’s what they – they were expected to be. I’d have been a martyr if it had given them another chance.”

“I just – I just wanted people to stop and think about it.” He shook his head. “Michael, he was an accident that no one wants to admit to being part of. Adoelle, a vote of all things, and… “ He waved his hands. “I don’t even know for Heliodora. Just, she was here, and then she was gone. I just, I want to believe if it had been a face that people knew better that maybe they wouldn’t have just …”

he sighed.

“…I can hear them in my head, and I still don’t know. I feel like they meant well, I do. But…”

His shoulders sagged.
“I think I’m just too much a coward, even for the ‘easy’ options.”

The Semblance of Unity

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

"You're not a coward," she said automatically, but she meant it. "No one else was trying to think outside of the box at the ball - and that's what you do well. You refuse to fall into these pre-set roles people have." Temperance wasn't sure she was making a whole lot of sense, but she felt that what she was saying was important. Those pre-set roles, those immutable ways of thinking were dangerous, and she was guilty of them, too.

"I know... I know it's hard-" They both knew it was. "But please, keep trying to be that little voice of reason for people. This isn't over yet and you're still needed."

endejester

 

[endejester]

He squeezed his eyes shut and scrubbed at his eyes.

“if something… happens, if I can’t find them again to undo this…” he said and swallowed hard.
“There is a journal, it’s in my apartment but if something happens I want you to go find it. I feel like it would be, useful.”

The Semblance of Unity