~*~*~*~JOKE TELLING COMPETITION~*~*~*~

[Funkyblueeyes]

~*~JOKE TELLING COMPETITION~*~


I want to throw some contests out there, but it'd be nice if the competitions actually had some value outside of actually getting prizes. Let's make the world a happier place with a Joke Telling Competition!

It's hard to rank jokes, so you'll just have to trust me to be a fair and impartial judge I suppose. On the bright side, even if you don't win a prize, you'll probably get a laugh!

So here's how I'll do this: At least once every 10 pages, I will award a prize item for the best joke. This will max out at 100 pages if we can even hit that high. You can throw in as many jokes as you like! You can win multiple times. And sometimes, if jokes are particularly good, I'll throw an extra prize in there for good measure. The closer to 100 pages we get, the higher value the prizes will be!

heart I would like to thank MinnieMixie for her kind donation of the majority of the prizes. She recently gifted me a fortune of gaia stuff to hand out to you guys so if you see her around, be sure to be extra nice to her because she's pretty bomb.

Rules:

Rules suck and are boring. So just don't do anything to intentionally elongate the posts so that we get through pages more quickly, and only one joke per post and let's leave it at that.

Have fun and happy joking!

 

[Funkyblueeyes]

Okay okay I'll start us off.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
“No thanks," he says, "I’m traveling light.”

BADUM TSHHHHH!!!  

[PangoPrite]

In the vein of science/math jokes, one that always makes me chuckle for some silly reason:

A mathematician, a biologist, and a physicist are sitting in a café watching people on the street when a house across the way catches their attention. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they observe three people leaving the house.

The physicist mutters, "The measurement must not have been accurate."
The biologist explains, "They have reproduced."
The mathematician says, "If one more person goes into that house, then it will be empty again."  

[Xenar1]

This is a grave situation indeed. sweatdrop
For my humor is of the gallows....
As flat as a line and just as noisy.....
As chill as a pale grip....
Though i draw comfort....
We will burn together....
By the power of PUNS!!!!

Edit: boldened, enlargened, and centered for easier reading...  

[Funkyblueeyes]

Hahahahah yessss! I am thoroughly impressed by you guys.

There are two types of people in the world:
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data  

[Sincerely Metalhead]

This one requires audience participation.
A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar.  

[PangoPrite]

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

show spoilerhide spoiler

One's really heavy; the other one is a little lighter.

 

[Funkyblueeyes]

This competition was the best idea ever.  

[Xenar1]

Sincerely Metalhead

This one requires audience participation.
A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar.

I.... Um...

*looks at the director*

Line!  

[Sincerely Metalhead]

Xenar1

Sincerely Metalhead

This one requires audience participation.
A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar.

I.... Um...

*looks at the director*

Line!

I've never done this on the internet...It has not gone as planned...
Oh, right!
The priest said ouch, the rabbi said oi vei, and the monk took a vow of silence, but his face was sure red! emotion_awesome  

[PangoPrite]

Sincerely Metalhead

Xenar1

Sincerely Metalhead

This one requires audience participation.
A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar.

I.... Um...

*looks at the director*

Line!

I've never done this on the internet...It has not gone as planned...
Oh, right!
The priest said ouch, the rabbi said oi vei, and the monk took a vow of silence, but his face was sure red! emotion_awesome

1. This exchange is, like, some kind of internet-based Manzai, and I'm a little bit in love with it?
   
   
2. I cannot tell you how excited I was that I read your response before I looked at your avatar, so that I got treated to a perfectly-timed mental "BA-dum TSSSSH!"
   
   

In short, I agree that this thread was a fantastic idea.  

[Sincerely Metalhead]

PangoPrite

Sincerely Metalhead

Xenar1

Sincerely Metalhead

This one requires audience participation.
A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar.

I.... Um...

*looks at the director*

Line!

I've never done this on the internet...It has not gone as planned...
Oh, right!
The priest said ouch, the rabbi said oi vei, and the monk took a vow of silence, but his face was sure red! emotion_awesome

1. This exchange is, like, some kind of internet-based Manzai, and I'm a little bit in love with it?
   
   
2. I cannot tell you how excited I was that I read your response before I looked at your avatar, so that I got treated to a perfectly-timed mental "BA-dum TSSSSH!"
   
   

In short, I agree that this thread was a fantastic idea.

I aim to please. 3nodding
Also, the Bum bum tsh! emotion_awesome  

[PangoPrite]

How do Mexican restaurateurs stay warm?

show spoilerhide spoiler

They use chicken fajitas.

 

[Ignesco]

I guess I'll give it a try sweatdrop

~

A few buddies and I walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why are you guys walking around with weapons?" "Mimics," was our reply. The bartender laughed. The group laughed. The table laughed. We killed the table. It was a good time.  

[Xenar1]

I wanted to tell a pizza joke today but it was just too cheesy