Your writing style isn't bad, it's pretty good actually. You should give the main character some flaws though, perfect characters are sort of boring. It's hard to tell whether or not it would make a good beginning to a novel because you didn't tell what possibly the rest of the plot would've been. The first sentence is ok but maybe you should make it more attention-grabbing, to draw the reader in...
Now, for my agenda
twisted ,
With your good writing skills (
mrgreen ) I'm sure you'd be able to compete well in my writing contest
wink http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=21661187. xd , Check it out and consider it.
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