The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apacolypse, by Robert Rankin
Alright, if you couldn't already tell from the title, this is a very interesting book. This is Robert Rankin's newest and probably most popular book since The Suburban Book of the Dead. Now let's continue with the review.
The story begins quite unusually with a twelve year old boy named Jack having a conversation with a large farmer. In fact, it begins like this:
"Once upon a time," said the big fat farmer, "it was all fields around here."
The traveller glanced all around and about. "It's still all fields," said he.
Jack had just escaped from the clockwork factory that he was being forced to work at and he was bound for the city to obtain his fortune and settle down for the rest of his life. The farmer, however, is trying to stop Jack from foolishly looking for his fortune and won't tell Jack the direction of the city.
I don't wish to ruin the story for anyone who is actually interested in reading this book so I won't explain how he does reach the city. Well Jack finds himself in a dark alleyway with a snuggly face staring closely down at him. As he hurridly moves away he can make out the shape of the face. A cuddly teddy bear with two different button eyes and a beer bottle cap stuck to one of his ears. But the bear is able to move and speak on its own. Though it does have it's flaws. Eddie Bear, the teddie bear, can not use corroborative nouns or, as they are better known, similarlies. So he finds himself stopping after saying such lines as 'I'm as drunk as' and 'It's as horrid as'.
Although in the beginning Jack doesn't believe in Eddie and the entire population of Toy City, he eventually becomes great friends with the bear and learns about his previous owner, Private Investigator Bill Winkie, and his ubrupt dissappearance. But before he did leave he was put on a case. The case of Humpty Dumpty's death. Eddie tells Jack that there is a lot of money to be made if they can solve who murdered the Nursery Rhyme character.
While all of this is going on, Jack is learning about the mysterious Mr. Anders, the Toy Maker and the religions of Toy City including The Midnight Growlers and Big Box Fella, He Cometh. Mr. Anders, although he does create the toys, has never been viewed as a god.
I'd also like to note how incredibly unhelpful the policemen in Toy City are. Here's a little snip from the book:
Bellis scowled and shook his fists. "Well, now we're in, I suppose. Go and arrest the malfeasant."
"The what, Sir?" the officer chuckled
"The criminal, the intruder, the unlawful trespasser."
"Which on of those do you want arrested first sir"
For some reason the policemen are also unusually jolly all of the time. They completely scared me throughout the entire novel.
Although this story has toys and childish characters I'd still rate this a PG-13 book. There's heavy driking, murder, sex, and swearing. But that's the only problem with this book.
Somehow, through all of the horrible murders, Jack finds love. But I won't say how. It's a very twisted book, very twisted, but very good at the same time. This book hooked me to Robert Rankin. If you like this book then try one of the 24 other Fiction books he's made! Thanks for your time.
The story begins quite unusually with a twelve year old boy named Jack having a conversation with a large farmer. In fact, it begins like this:
"Once upon a time," said the big fat farmer, "it was all fields around here."
The traveller glanced all around and about. "It's still all fields," said he.
Jack had just escaped from the clockwork factory that he was being forced to work at and he was bound for the city to obtain his fortune and settle down for the rest of his life. The farmer, however, is trying to stop Jack from foolishly looking for his fortune and won't tell Jack the direction of the city.
I don't wish to ruin the story for anyone who is actually interested in reading this book so I won't explain how he does reach the city. Well Jack finds himself in a dark alleyway with a snuggly face staring closely down at him. As he hurridly moves away he can make out the shape of the face. A cuddly teddy bear with two different button eyes and a beer bottle cap stuck to one of his ears. But the bear is able to move and speak on its own. Though it does have it's flaws. Eddie Bear, the teddie bear, can not use corroborative nouns or, as they are better known, similarlies. So he finds himself stopping after saying such lines as 'I'm as drunk as' and 'It's as horrid as'.
Although in the beginning Jack doesn't believe in Eddie and the entire population of Toy City, he eventually becomes great friends with the bear and learns about his previous owner, Private Investigator Bill Winkie, and his ubrupt dissappearance. But before he did leave he was put on a case. The case of Humpty Dumpty's death. Eddie tells Jack that there is a lot of money to be made if they can solve who murdered the Nursery Rhyme character.
While all of this is going on, Jack is learning about the mysterious Mr. Anders, the Toy Maker and the religions of Toy City including The Midnight Growlers and Big Box Fella, He Cometh. Mr. Anders, although he does create the toys, has never been viewed as a god.
I'd also like to note how incredibly unhelpful the policemen in Toy City are. Here's a little snip from the book:
Bellis scowled and shook his fists. "Well, now we're in, I suppose. Go and arrest the malfeasant."
"The what, Sir?" the officer chuckled
"The criminal, the intruder, the unlawful trespasser."
"Which on of those do you want arrested first sir"
For some reason the policemen are also unusually jolly all of the time. They completely scared me throughout the entire novel.
Although this story has toys and childish characters I'd still rate this a PG-13 book. There's heavy driking, murder, sex, and swearing. But that's the only problem with this book.
Somehow, through all of the horrible murders, Jack finds love. But I won't say how. It's a very twisted book, very twisted, but very good at the same time. This book hooked me to Robert Rankin. If you like this book then try one of the 24 other Fiction books he's made! Thanks for your time.