Dragon. Critiquers desperately needed. :xp:

[Confused Cotton Socks]

Dragon

Many a knights enter my lair,
Yet very few leave it.
They ride in atop their steeds and wave a glittering sword.
They vow to smite me,
To slay me,
To kill me,
Yet never do they succeed.
I guard a castle filled with treasures,
But treasures different from yours.
Within the walls of my ancient castle,
From wall to wall,
From ceiling to floor,
Lay piles and piles of [insert random item here].
Why many a knights enter my lair,
That I do not know.


I wrote it a couple of years ago for fun. O.o  

[Average Evil Meteor]

Hmm, I'm not sure. It seems a bit twee for my liking, but it isn't that bad at all. I'm glad it doesn't rhyme, at least ;]] I don't like rhyming poems... I'd give you a B, maybe an A if you put a bit more sophisticated grammar in. heart

Jaikai
xx  

[GabbySilverwood]

I find it humorous.
I think I would have had a hard time posting something that actually said, 'insert random item here.'
I think that you definatly reached your goal of fun, and that you should be very careful when and if you edit it, because it would be to easy to make it to heavy handed.
But maybe 'But treasures different from yours. ' Should be But my treasures are different from yours. That would make that line the right length to fit the pattern.  

[Moppeh]

I liked it. It's kind of short though.  

[DartStriker]

Yes it was a good fun poem. I don't think length or word usage is that important in all poems. This was a fun poem, maybe something that would appeal to other ages as well as older more adult readers. I fairy tale style story written to tell children before bed is what I got out of it.  

[crazeebeautiful]

It's on the short side, but that's what I like about it. Short, tasteful, creative.