Rain

[Gomer Tymur]

Rain
So wet
Drips so sane
Across the sky
Drops caress my cheek
Stinging them with new pain
My skin throbs so quietly
Yet I hardly complain
Shouts of joy from children
Jumping through puddles and splashing
Wetting the men's black pants
Yet they moan and groan while dashing
The full moon, as white as cotton flashes
Gently, the stars twinkle lighly through this
Night is recognized through the crickets' chirps
All so quiet, yet something seems... amiss
The taste of rain on my lips
The smell of grass mixed with rain
The splash of mist on my skin
To find answers I must strain!

At last I have it
The sky is weeping
The children should be
Soundly sleeping

(Please critique this poem
I don't care if you hate it or love
Just be truthfull
I can take very harsh comments)

 

[Moppeh]

I liked it, it's nice.  

[Gachetemas]

How am I supposed to read it right if there's no punctuation? I don't know when to stop or go.

The first few lines were really chunky. There's no ending. It seems like nothing is said very clearly. Basically, I don't get it. What are you trying to say?

So that's why I hate it. But the title was good! mrgreen  

[tracedsilver9]

I think that this poem is really good.
It has a lot of feeling in it yet the words don't make sense on their own.
My kind of poem. smile  

[Dead Twisted Romance]

It was wonderful. The picture was there and I almost could feel it. Thank you for that 3nodding