do you find it impossible to trust?

[mcr.forever!]

well recently i discovered i cant trust anyone or anything, i hate myself, i'm totaly emotionaly ******** up. i mean realy i think i'm out to distroy myself, everything makes me want to kill myself, and i think that everyone hates me. am i the only one thats feels like this?

for example, my current problem is that i cant believe that my boyfriend realy likes me cuz well i think he has...well...given up...but all my friends are like 'he totaly loves you!' but i just cant believe that anyone can love me.

im going crazy, finaly im actualy going nuts and despite the fact i know im going nuts i still believe that all of my suspisions and fears are true.

oh yeh and i also think my boyfriend loves my 'friend' cuz she wants him and i always get the feeling that they both wish i would just dissapear...

does anyone else have any problems like mine?  

[UraniumMonk]

Hmm, sounds like a typical case of teen angst.  

[mcr.forever!]

its not though ive always felt like every one hates me its just this year i cant even trust myself to like me  

[ieatyourtclol]

mcr.forever!

well recently i discovered i cant trust anyone or anything, i hate myself, i'm totaly emotionaly ******** up. i mean realy i think i'm out to distroy myself, everything makes me want to kill myself, and i think that everyone hates me. am i the only one thats feels like this?

for example, my current problem is that i cant believe that my boyfriend realy likes me cuz well i think he has...well...given up...but all my friends are like 'he totaly loves you!' but i just cant believe that anyone can love me.

im going crazy, finaly im actualy going nuts and despite the fact i know im going nuts i still believe that all of my suspisions and fears are true.

oh yeh and i also think my boyfriend loves my 'friend' cuz she wants him and i always get the feeling that they both wish i would just dissapear...

does anyone else have any problems like mine?

I will begin with stating: I, like you, also have the same thoughts branded with "fear/paranoia." - sometimes.

You stated that "You cannot trust anyone," and if I infered correctly, the resulting loss of that emotion has lead you to feel the fears and paranoia that come with it. If a person is stripped of trust, that person can no longer live without fear/paranoia that something or someone is out to manipulate or otherwise harm that individual. In most cases, that person becomes suicidal. I fear that this is what you describe above.

The question of "Does he love me or doesn't he," is time old. If he does love your friend, and your fears and suspicions are indeed correct, what then? It merely sounds, to me, that you refuse to allow people to love you because you have lost trust.

I do have the same issues as you, but I replaced trust with uncaring.

End thought: you are not crazy; merely defensive. Over thinking and what ifs have consumed your mind and that loss of trust, whatever it resulted from, is plaging you into this depressive state.

I offer my advice: I ended my relationship and took time to re-evaluate myself. I did so in a dark room, alone, for an hour a day, in silence. I thought of all my past descisions, past events ... I understood why I felt like this. When I confronted my past and present, it was a tough time. Granteed, I still am void of trust, but at least those suicidal thoughts are gone.

If you are seriously thinking of suicide, end the relationship and think about my above recommendation. In this time, this is about you, and you need this time to secure your sanity.

I wonder if this even makes sense.

I hope this helped.

. _ .

 

[OverlordMMM]

...have you thought about why you feel that way....try figuring that part out before doing anything else.....once you relieve whats bugging your subconcience you'll feel much better.....in more than one way.....

(sorry if I sound like a shrink or self help center...this is stuff that has helped me before.....)  

[mcr.forever!]

Deific Requiem

mcr.forever!

well recently i discovered i cant trust anyone or anything, i hate myself, i'm totaly emotionaly ******** up. i mean realy i think i'm out to distroy myself, everything makes me want to kill myself, and i think that everyone hates me. am i the only one thats feels like this?

for example, my current problem is that i cant believe that my boyfriend realy likes me cuz well i think he has...well...given up...but all my friends are like 'he totaly loves you!' but i just cant believe that anyone can love me.

im going crazy, finaly im actualy going nuts and despite the fact i know im going nuts i still believe that all of my suspisions and fears are true.

oh yeh and i also think my boyfriend loves my 'friend' cuz she wants him and i always get the feeling that they both wish i would just dissapear...

does anyone else have any problems like mine?

I will begin with stating: I, like you, also have the same thoughts branded with "fear/paranoia." - sometimes.

You stated that "You cannot trust anyone," and if I infered correctly, the resulting loss of that emotion has lead you to feel the fears and paranoia that come with it. If a person is stripped of trust, that person can no longer live without fear/paranoia that something or someone is out to manipulate or otherwise harm that individual. In most cases, that person becomes suicidal. I fear that this is what you describe above.

The question of "Does he love me or doesn't he," is time old. If he does love your friend, and your fears and suspicions are indeed correct, what then? It merely sounds, to me, that you refuse to allow people to love you because you have lost trust.

I do have the same issues as you, but I replaced trust with uncaring.

End thought: you are not crazy; merely defensive. Over thinking and what ifs have consumed your mind and that loss of trust, whatever it resulted from, is plaging you into this depressive state.

I offer my advice: I ended my relationship and took time to re-evaluate myself. I did so in a dark room, alone, for an hour a day, in silence. I thought of all my past descisions, past events ... I understood why I felt like this. When I confronted my past and present, it was a tough time. Granteed, I still am void of trust, but at least those suicidal thoughts are gone.

If you are seriously thinking of suicide, end the relationship and think about my above recommendation. In this time, this is about you, and you need this time to secure your sanity.

I wonder if this even makes sense.

I hope this helped.

. _ .

thank you, im not going to commit suicide, as it is the easy way out and im not one for shortcuts plus i just found out that the guy that i realy truely loved killed himself and no one told me cuz his entire family had decieded the clinical deppression had nothing to do with the suicide attemps it was me, and i was not to see or speak to him for the last 3 or 4 months of his life, then 3 weeks after is death i was told, and i know how much it hurts to lose someone you love and dont think i can do that to people, but i still cant trust and its only because if i let my guard down i fear i will get hurt, so i dont think i will fall in love again, and i will ignore my heart.

but thanx for the advice anyway  

[GilAskan]

UraniumMonk

Hmm, sounds like a typical case of teen angst.

That's what I immediately thought.  

[Sdara]

...
Deific Requiem is right.
People get hurt-it's an integral part of life. Even if you become an ice princess you'll still be hurt; it's as unavoidable as breathing as long as you're alive. The key is to use that hurt and anger when it is wrought upon you.  

[Shade RazorKiss]

I'm kinda cynical and parannoic too...
Kinda though, not that much... >_>
I can't really trust a person a 100&, though I can get to trust someone up to 99%, but it's just that I feel that for some unknown reason there can come a time when they backstab me or betray me, even if that person was my best friend.

But I'm not suicidal at all, I don't hate myself, I love myself.
And I can only trust myself at a 100%, no one else ^-^  

[UraniumMonk]

Phantasmagothica

I'm kinda cynical and parannoic too...
Kinda though, not that much... >_>
I can't really trust a person a 100&, though I can get to trust someone up to 99%, but it's just that I feel that for some unknown reason there can come a time when they backstab me or betray me, even if that person was my best friend.

But I'm not suicidal at all, I don't hate myself, I love myself.
And I can only trust myself at a 100%, no one else ^-^

Hah me too.  

[2aetH]

I can understand your trust issues. However, unlike you, I'm so full of myself that even if I cannot trust anyone else, I can still live a normal life without the help of others. I consider myself completely independent.

I used to get worked up over it....then I realized I'm stronger than most people. Not necessarily physically, but mentally, spirutally, and emotionally. I believe myself to be superior.

Of course, I can't exactly say that's the best course of action to take....but to each hir own.

As for the boyfriend matter...why don't you just ask him?

"Listen, I want an honest answer here...and I'm not gonna freak out if you say yes. Do you love *insert name here*?"

You have to appear completely open about it. Of course, you might want to be completely open about it...seeing as if you were not, then things could get even moreso complicated.

And you're right. Suicide is a coward's way to escape. So, if you aren't a coward(because, obviously you haven't killed yourself), then why not stand up and do something about it besides mope?

I'm 17. I've never gone through this "teen angst" crap everyone mentions. I have my episodes....but then they disappear.

 

[xdemonicallyxyours13x]

i'm just cynical all the time...  

[Flat Baroque]

I feel like that too at times. As some other people have said, we all have our moments but they will all eventually go away.  

[Shanna66]

well how old are you and that might explain alot.
i remember when i was younger i thought that everyone hated me and the world was trying to hurt me, but that was cause of horomones.
and are you pmsing soon? that could be another reason.  

[Icy-Determination_020]

mcr.forever!

well recently i discovered i cant trust anyone or anything, i hate myself, i'm totaly emotionaly ******** up. i mean realy i think i'm out to distroy myself, everything makes me want to kill myself, and i think that everyone hates me. am i the only one thats feels like this?

for example, my current problem is that i cant believe that my boyfriend realy likes me cuz well i think he has...well...given up...but all my friends are like 'he totaly loves you!' but i just cant believe that anyone can love me.

im going crazy, finaly im actualy going nuts and despite the fact i know im going nuts i still believe that all of my suspisions and fears are true.

oh yeh and i also think my boyfriend loves my 'friend' cuz she wants him and i always get the feeling that they both wish i would just dissapear...

does anyone else have any problems like mine?

I know exactly how you feel... I feel that way ever day... though I guess I'm kinda lucky I usualy only feel that way for 30min to an hour of every day... sometimes longer or sometimes not at all but on avg. every day I feel that way... Trust... I dont know if its possible in the day and time... every one is just so damn eh the only way I can describe it... my hatred of the human race is beggining to come out a lil, sorry...
on the more postive note... its best to go at it with all you got and to throw fear to the wind... you will get hurt but thats a part of life you learn and if it dont kill you then it will make you stronger... accept the fact that your going to get hurt but there is something out there waiting for you ... you just got to live life and take it head on and in the end hope your where you want to be... going through life scared and letting it hold you back will only prevent you from getting where you want to be... I used to have the same issue you did until I just woke up and got pissed off at my state of mind and life and said F**k it and just went head way into life... I'v got scars from it both emotional and phsical but I dont regret any of it cause I did it how I wanted to do it... I have had my heart broken several times and I get depressed for awhile but I get back up and I try again... thats all you can do... I like what the other girl said too... I am I guess you can say two in one... one part of me nick named Squishy is postive and the other side is my Emo/dark side... it see's life bleakly and has all the issue you have and more... hehe, I'm odd but I think I just messed this all up but yeah maybe you will get something out of it... I'll check back some time and PMs are always open