Worst Grammar in the History of Civilization

[Nahxsua]

This is a reall message I got a long time ago:

OMG! THS IS DE WURST THNG IV evr herd in mi lyfe.
My ss tld mi tht eye wuz knot goeyng tu de mall wit mye frnds. Mye mahm tld me I wuz aloud tu goe if eye clend mye rume.

IN ALL SERIOUSNESS THIS IS NOT A JOKE. I ASKED THIS PERSON WHY SHE WAS TYPING SO BADLY AND SHE HONESTLY TOLD ME THAT SHE WAS BEING SERIOUS AND LOVED TEXT TALK.  

[Ebania]

Oh, Christ. The burning sensation in my eyes. gonk

Let me get out my N00b-to-Normal Translator to do this for me.

*inserts "OMG! THS IS DE WURST THNG IV evr herd in mi lyfe.
My ss tld mi tht eye wuz knot goeyng tu de mall wit mye frnds. Mye mahm tld me I wuz aloud tu goe if eye clend mye rume." into textbox*

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C O M P L E T E.

Your N00b-to-Normal Translation is:

ERROR #52626. Please upgrade your N00b-to-Normal Translator, for the text you've entered cannot be diciphered from our current database. Thank you for trusting N00b-to-Normal.

. . . Awwww, damnit! Now I have to do it myself, or upgrade.

My translation: "Oh my God! This is the worst thing I have heard in my life. My sister told me that I was not going to the mall with my friends. My mom told me that I was allowed to go if I cleaned my room."

I'm going to go read something, to try to regain those sixteen IQ points I just killed.

 

[Archdemonessa]

Translation-
Oh my god! This is the worst thing I've ever heard in my life.
My sis(ter) told me that I was not going to the mall with my friends. My mom told me I was allowed to go if I cleaned my room.

My n00b-to-normal translator blew up after that, and it's upgraded to the highest level...
That's sad, but then again, n00bs are sad. I've got snipers if you want to kill n00bs...  

[!`Grammar Faerie`!]

I'm just gonna say it...........

Ok, I think my IQ just dropped about............249 points. Let me think of a math problem:

1+1: 348248382

Yup, my IQ is definitely about -213 right now.

Tequila makes me happy.

 

[Galadedrid Damodred]

*raises his hands to the sky and cries out to some obscure god or goddess*

*lightning crackles from the heavens*

*lightning strikes down the evil nooblet*  

[splashseal]

Dear God, that is even worse than text talk.

We are all that much more stupid for having seen that. I pity the original recipient of that message.  

[Kaizoku-sensei]

That's probably the worst case of text talk I've ever read. By the way, zebbie says that her IQ just dropped down to about 1. exclaim  

[crazeebeautiful]

Oh...stupid little noobs. That is one of the worst instances of txt tlk I've ever seen...I feel very, very bad for you...  

[Jojibear]

Normally, I wouldn't swear on Gaia... I mean, seriously swear but whoever sent that to you... Oh my f*$&#xin;g gawd, what in the name of heaven is that about?!

Go the good old fashioned way and just chop the person up, for heavens sake! Bloody hell!!

(Excuse my French)  

[Galadedrid Damodred]

French is a beautiful language, young lady. It is not curses and profanities.

The fact that she can't go unless she cleans her room is the worst thing she's ever heard of in her life? Tell me, was she around for 9/11? Or the Boxing Day tsunami?  

[rae-chan-sensei]

Galadedrid Damodred

French is a beautiful language, young lady. It is not curses and profanities.

The fact that she can't go unless she cleans her room is the worst thing she's ever heard of in her life? Tell me, was she around for 9/11? Or the Boxing Day tsunami?

No, I think her "worst thing" is that her sister told her she couldn't go. Because that makes sense. rolleyes Her sister was probably just being mean for the fun of it, yet this child takes it seriously and gets all emo and bothers people who know how to spell.

Of course, I agree with you. If that's the "worst" that this child has ever heard, she obviously has never even heard of a newspaper... rolleyes  

[Angel80272]

*Opens up a thread-side weapons shop*

I've got your bludgeoning weapons over here: billy clubs, staves, and maces. Over here are your bladed ones: swords, daggers, knives, and axes.
Behind me are the guns: pistols, assault rifles, anti-tank guns, RPGs, and the random anti-aircraft missile launcher.

Special deal for today: All of them are free.  

[rae-chan-sensei]

tiger80272

*Opens up a thread-side weapons shop*

I've got your bludgeoning weapons over here: billy clubs, staves, and maces. Over here are your bladed ones: swords, daggers, knives, and axes.
Behind me are the guns: pistols, assault rifles, anti-tank guns, RPGs, and the random anti-aircraft missile launcher.

Special deal for today: All of them are free.

I have a weapon proficiency in forked weapons, and prefer to use what I know. Do you happen to have any sai? A trident? A spork, perhaps? 3nodding  

[Angel80272]

*presses a button to reveal rae-chan's request*

Sais, tridents, and sporks, take your pick.



...I just can't believe she LIKES to talk like that. It's one thing if you don't know how to type, but it's just wrong if you LIKE to type wrong.  

[Tarantellatears]

*drools mindlessly as her brain dies*