Talk like an Illianer!

[Galadedrid Damodred]

For anyone who's read Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan, you know what I'm talking about. I do be speaking of the people of Illian, and I do love their speech patterns. I did find no true Illianers, so I do be speaking of them on their behalf.  

[The Man who was Thursday]

Hooray for useless auxiliary verbs.  

[Galadedrid Damodred]

Yes, useless auxiliary verbs do be most wonderful, no? I do be most enjoying speaking like they who do come from the lovely land of Illian. They do be much more pleasant than those who do come from Saldaea or Kandor.  

[Xillania]

I did be never hearing of the Illianers before. I do be thinking that I do be wondering what Robert Jordan do been smoking when he did been making their speech pattern.

(Which is the appropriate past tense?)  

[Galadedrid Damodred]

Xillania

I did be never hearing of the Illianers before. I do be thinking that I do be wondering what Robert Jordan do been smoking when he did been making their speech pattern.

(Which is the appropriate past tense?)

Haha! That's very good! That do be excellent for a beginner!

Actually, it do be: I did never be hearing of Illianers before.

But apart from that, benissimo! I do think that Robert Jordan would be proud. Although I do be disappointed, for the members of the guild no do be interested in Illianers....

I do love Illianers.  

[Ariomness]

Oh, I'm a big Robert Jordan fan myself, though I haven't read his books in so long. Were Illianers the ones who spoke so... dwarf-like, I guess you could say. Bar talk, or some such other way. =P

So then, my post would be:

Quote:

Oh, I be a big Robert Jordan fan myself, though I haven't been a reading his books in a long time. Were Illianers been the ones who be speaking so... dwarf-like, me guesses you might be saying. Bar talk, me thinks.. =P

Right? Maybe? Hmm.  

[Galadedrid Damodred]

Ariomness

Oh, I'm a big Robert Jordan fan myself, though I haven't read his books in so long. Were Illianers the ones who spoke so... dwarf-like, I guess you could say. Bar talk, or some such other way. =P

So then, my post would be:

Quote:

Oh, I be a big Robert Jordan fan myself, though I haven't been a reading his books in a long time. Were Illianers been the ones who be speaking so... dwarf-like, me guesses you might be saying. Bar talk, me thinks.. =P

Right? Maybe? Hmm.

It do be imperfect, but for one who no do be used to Illianer accents, you do be doing well. Ooh, the moon do be nearly full... (I do be seeing it from my seat by the window).  

[The Man who was Thursday]

Galadedrid Damodred

Xillania

I did be never hearing of the Illianers before. I do be thinking that I do be wondering what Robert Jordan do been smoking when he did been making their speech pattern.

(Which is the appropriate past tense?)

Haha! That's very good! That do be excellent for a beginner!

Actually, it do be: I did never be hearing of Illianers before.

But apart from that, benissimo! I do think that Robert Jordan would be proud. Although I do be disappointed, for the members of the guild no do be interested in Illianers....

I do love Illianers.

Perhaps because this is a grammar guild, and this "Illian" is a butchering of all that is grammatically sound.  

[Galadedrid Damodred]

Ezra Pound

Galadedrid Damodred

Xillania

I did be never hearing of the Illianers before. I do be thinking that I do be wondering what Robert Jordan do been smoking when he did been making their speech pattern.

(Which is the appropriate past tense?)

Haha! That's very good! That do be excellent for a beginner!

Actually, it do be: I did never be hearing of Illianers before.

But apart from that, benissimo! I do think that Robert Jordan would be proud. Although I do be disappointed, for the members of the guild no do be interested in Illianers....

I do love Illianers.

Perhaps because this is a grammar guild, and this "Illian" is a butchering of all that is grammatically sound.

It is actually a dialect of English. There are dialects of Chinese, Indian, Vietnamese, etc. so why not English? It gives the language a little flavour.  

[The Man who was Thursday]

Galadedrid Damodred

Ezra Pound

Galadedrid Damodred

Xillania

I did be never hearing of the Illianers before. I do be thinking that I do be wondering what Robert Jordan do been smoking when he did been making their speech pattern.

(Which is the appropriate past tense?)

Haha! That's very good! That do be excellent for a beginner!

Actually, it do be: I did never be hearing of Illianers before.

But apart from that, benissimo! I do think that Robert Jordan would be proud. Although I do be disappointed, for the members of the guild no do be interested in Illianers....

I do love Illianers.

Perhaps because this is a grammar guild, and this "Illian" is a butchering of all that is grammatically sound.

It is actually a dialect of English. There are dialects of Chinese, Indian, Vietnamese, etc. so why not English? It gives the language a little flavour.

In that case, chatspeak is a dialect of English.

Doesn't matter, though; this is "A guild dedicated to the protection of the King's English."  

[Galadedrid Damodred]

Ezra Pound

Galadedrid Damodred

Ezra Pound

Galadedrid Damodred

Xillania

I did be never hearing of the Illianers before. I do be thinking that I do be wondering what Robert Jordan do been smoking when he did been making their speech pattern.

(Which is the appropriate past tense?)

Haha! That's very good! That do be excellent for a beginner!

Actually, it do be: I did never be hearing of Illianers before.

But apart from that, benissimo! I do think that Robert Jordan would be proud. Although I do be disappointed, for the members of the guild no do be interested in Illianers....

I do love Illianers.

Perhaps because this is a grammar guild, and this "Illian" is a butchering of all that is grammatically sound.

It is actually a dialect of English. There are dialects of Chinese, Indian, Vietnamese, etc. so why not English? It gives the language a little flavour.

In that case, chatspeak is a dialect of English.

Doesn't matter, though; this is "A guild dedicated to the protection of the King's English."

No, chatspeak do be a retarded written form of English, not the English language. I do protest! You did be wrong in comparing the speech of Illian with the hideous chatspeak! I do be outraged on behalf of the Illianers.  

[The Man who was Thursday]

Galadedrid Damodred

Ezra Pound

Galadedrid Damodred

Ezra Pound

Galadedrid Damodred

Xillania

I did be never hearing of the Illianers before. I do be thinking that I do be wondering what Robert Jordan do been smoking when he did been making their speech pattern.

(Which is the appropriate past tense?)

Haha! That's very good! That do be excellent for a beginner!

Actually, it do be: I did never be hearing of Illianers before.

But apart from that, benissimo! I do think that Robert Jordan would be proud. Although I do be disappointed, for the members of the guild no do be interested in Illianers....

I do love Illianers.

Perhaps because this is a grammar guild, and this "Illian" is a butchering of all that is grammatically sound.

It is actually a dialect of English. There are dialects of Chinese, Indian, Vietnamese, etc. so why not English? It gives the language a little flavour.

In that case, chatspeak is a dialect of English.

Doesn't matter, though; this is "A guild dedicated to the protection of the King's English."

No, chatspeak do be a retarded written form of English, not the English language. I do protest! You did be wrong in comparing the speech of Illian with the hideous chatspeak! I do be outraged on behalf of the Illianers.

It's another way of expressing oneself in English, which does not take into account any accepted forms of grammar.

So... I seem to be missing something. How are they different?  

[Galadedrid Damodred]

Ezra Pound

Galadedrid Damodred

Ezra Pound

Galadedrid Damodred

Ezra Pound

Perhaps because this is a grammar guild, and this "Illian" is a butchering of all that is grammatically sound.

It is actually a dialect of English. There are dialects of Chinese, Indian, Vietnamese, etc. so why not English? It gives the language a little flavour.

In that case, chatspeak is a dialect of English.

Doesn't matter, though; this is "A guild dedicated to the protection of the King's English."

No, chatspeak do be a retarded written form of English, not the English language. I do protest! You did be wrong in comparing the speech of Illian with the hideous chatspeak! I do be outraged on behalf of the Illianers.

It's another way of expressing oneself in English, which does not take into account any accepted forms of grammar.

So... I seem to be missing something. How are they different?

Chatspeak do be for when imbeciles do be too lazy to type out entire words. The dialect of Illian do be distinct: Illianers do use the emphatic tense of nearly every verb, they do shun the progressive tense, and do use "no" in place of "not." So you see, the dialect of Illian and chatspeak do be almost opposites. One do be for lazy people who can no be stuffed typing out entire words, one do be more difficult than ordinary English.  

[The Man who was Thursday]

It is still grammatically incorrect.  

[Galadedrid Damodred]

I suppose it is, at that. But it do be extremely amusing!