How would you do it?

[Talryk]

I've got a friend that tends to use txt-tlk and tends to not use punctuation. Now, I really like them, but I'm curious as to how I could ask them to, and maybe help them, improve their english skills. How would any of you do it?  

[The Man who was Thursday]

I wouldn't.  

[[Mammon]]

I would say that it depends on how well you know them and how they like to be dealt with and, of course, whether they're likely to care about the state of their grammar.

If they're not likely to care about grammar: Don't do anything. It will not do anything for the friendship.

If you think they would care then you have to decide what to do based on how you think they like to be dealt with. If they don't like people to feed them a line of... manure, shall we say... then just come out and tell them.

If you don't think they take criticism well then you could appeal to the evil third power, "You know, I don't mind that you use txt-tlk but if you're going to spend a lot of time doing [insert thing you do together online] then you're going to run into some Grammar Nazis and you might want to think about being a little more careful with what you type." Or the method of I-phrasing can be helpful, "You know [insert friend's name], I'm not a big fan of txt-tlk and I know it's easier and faster but could you do me a favor and please not use it when you send me e-mails."

Then again, sometimes the best way is just to lead by example; maybe they'll follow suit. I don't mean by this that you should correct their mistakes; just don't get drawn into using txt-tlk when writing back to them. I tend to like this option best because it doesn't put you in the position of having to deal with them reacting in an unexpectedly bad manner to your request.

I guess I tend, overall, to be in the don't do anything camp; but if you really want your friend to change then, one way or another, you're going to have to ask them to.

Note to Talryk: I am a little crazy and so take my advice with this. *Hands you a big bag of salt.*  

[[ Pyrite ]]

[x]
Random acquaintance: I had a friend that used txt-talk online once.
Me: Where did you hide the body?

Jokes about murdering your friends aside, I always try to show my companions through example. Given my abrasive nature, however, sometimes I tell them outright that less than par English online makes them look like a tool. (Because I avoid female friendships like a hole in the head, statements like that are fine.)

But I don't think that's the answer for you.

Always set a stellar example for your friend. If your good behavior isn't helping, find subtle ways to show them that being coherent is awesome. When you're in a conversation online, just ask them to repeat themselves if they type a particularly bad message - be creative.

I realize the irony that will ensue with any typos in this post.

~Pyrite
[x]  

[Ame Yuki Kaze]

I would go with Mammon's suggestion and just lead by example. I've found that nagging people only makes them recalcitrant. I have an online friend whose spelling used to be horrendous. I just led by example, using correct spelling and I noticed a great improvement in his spelling after a while.  

[MyOwnBestCritic]

If you are IM-ing, then you should say, "What?" Every couple of lines. Be sure not to forget the "h," now. For Emails, I agree that setting a good example is the best way without direct confrontation.  

[Momoko Wakaba]

My friends know I will nag about that, and if they are my good friends, they will try their best to fix it. Some of them don't spell very well, not on purpose, but they just can't spell.

Back to the point, if this person is a good friend, they won't mind, but if they talk back to you the first time, they don't care, then it is time to go stealth mode!! ninja