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I would like any tips (ANY) on the first chapter of my book.
Chapter One: the Abduction
I must have been about fourteen when I was abducted by “aliens”. They weren’t quite the little green men that are portrayed by the government and Hollywood. There quite a few different kinds.
It all started when I was jogging with my best friend, Tom. We had been friends since the sixth grade. We were in eighth grade when I got abducted. We dated on and of in seventh grade and eventually decided to just be friends. On this particular occasion, Tom and I had split up to see if one way was faster than the other through a park. I wasn’t jogging far from my house. This would be the day that changed everything.
As I jogged down a rocky hillside, I thought what it would be like if we ever found intelligent life outside of the solar system. I wondered if they would be anything like humans and how far along their technology would be. I sure hope there are other humans, I thought. Then maybe I could find a decent boyfriend.
A figure dressed in black appeared in front of me. I managed to stop myself before I fell, but the figure fell to the ground in a heap. Grabbing my wrist, he chanted quickly and before I knew it, we were surrounded by darkness. I considered trying to pull free and run, but I was uncertain of what was happening.
When the darkness lifted, we were on a dirt road with a solid wall of trees on one side and fields on the right. Farmers that were collecting the earlier crop glanced at us awkwardly and would occasionally stare. I guessed men dressed entirely in black leading a strange girl in a grey shirt from school and blue jeans was kinda odd.
“The main road, not bad,” said the man. In the distance was a castle that sat on a cliff. We set off in silence towards the castle at a steady pace. I was used to talking with whoever I was walking with, not being completely ignored, though I usually was in class by some of the other girls.
I was pretty sure at that point that this guy, whoever he was, was definitely a sexist. I wasn’t going to be the one to break the silence. Occasionally, someone would passed with a cart or on horse-back. Everyone would glance at us suspiciously, some almost fearfully, and dropped there gaze as they sped up a little. I would usually glare into the mans back, wishing he would just let me go.
After more than an hour of ignoring me, the man asked, “what’s your name?”
“Nadia,” I said, struggling to hide my impatience and anger. I was used to jogging in a cross-country race at school for this long. I was usually really high strung after this much time walking. Before I could say anything else, an arrow appeared in his head and he collapsed into the sand, dead.
******
After half an hour of waiting for Nadia to come, I finally jogged the path she would have taken. I kept calling out to her, without response. I was beginning to worry, Nadia never did this sort of stuff, at least not without telling someone. When I came to the steepest part of the park, I found a bracelet I had given to Nadia for her birthday the previous week. I looked around for any signs of Nadia and found none. It was then that I ran as fast as my feet would carry me to Nadia’s mom’s house.
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