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| Did my poem translate the message to the reader in an artful and pleasing manner? |
| Yes, your poem did. |
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66% |
[ 4 ] |
| No, your poem did not. |
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33% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 6 |
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 Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:34 pm
In the Winter
Anthony Davis
Apathy and Illness, Warmth and Woe
In the Winter is the Comfort and Glow
But then the Light comes and She leaves me be
The Ice melts and Life begins anew
When, is Life sacred
When, is Life cherished
When, are those who lost their Gift, remembered
It brings sorrow to see those lost, left behind
In the Cold, in the Dark
Left behind in the Wake
Of a new Spring
A rebirth
In the celebration of Life
Those dead, are forgotten
And they stay behind, to bring their lingering Warmth,
Of Life, to the Colds living, in the Winter.
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:38 pm
You kinda lost me after the third line. There was some pleasant rhyming up to there. Keep it consistent. I did like the artistic touch to it.
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Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 2:08 pm
Usually when I write free-style I have a mixture of various methods.
The rhyming is not entirely intentional.
This poem is about how a man loses his love in the winter season.
He mourns for her during the rest of the year, but, when the winter comes, he feels that she is with him again.
in the poem I hoped to relay his disdain of how nature, civilization, and life in general seems to go on without thought or concern to the people they leave behind.
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Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 10:27 am
Very nice. I really like your works, every time I log on, I come and look to see if you posted anything new! Keep up the awesome work!
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