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| Ghosts it... |
| Gay. |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Shrug - Ok I guess... |
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14% |
[ 1 ] |
| Good. |
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57% |
[ 4 ] |
| Gold. : / |
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28% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 7 |
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 Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:46 am
GHOSTS
Just do not give up hope
All you who enter here
Some will live
and some will die
But all will taste a fear
Pray your heart keeps beating
Your breath waxes and wanes
Think of all that's precious
Let us ease your pain
If you listen very carefully
It's not difficult to hear
Echoes of the voices
That have left this world from here
The sound of bones a broken
The sight of flesh that's torn
The smell of blood from those
that didn't see another dawn
The screams of mothers mourning
The cries of widowed wives
The tears... in there oceans
All shed for shattered lives
If these bricks could talk to us
The stories they could tell
of the things they've seen
within these walls
The gateway to heaven and hell
It's not perfect, but at least it's better than Monotone, right? : /
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 1:13 am
Wow, I didn't think it was that bad. : |
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 11:08 am
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 11:09 am
...yeh...
anyway...
BYE!! mrgreen
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 6:15 pm
I like your poem. It moved right along with great rhythm. I like ghosts and thought the write was well written. Thanks for sharing.
Peace cool
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 8:48 pm
Meep. I'm just slightly confused by the imagery, but great imagery nonetheless.
"The tears... in there(their) oceans
All shed for shattered lives"
I'm sure the 'there' was just a typo.
That was my favourite part. Also, I liked how you concluded, as it gave a real feeling of finality to it. I have a similar poem which I will post right now.
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 1:07 am
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:19 am
Lord_Skyy Meep. I'm just slightly confused by the imagery, but great imagery nonetheless. "The tears... in there(their) oceans All shed for shattered lives" I'm sure the 'there' was just a typo. That was my favourite part. Also, I liked how you concluded, as it gave a real feeling of finality to it. I have a similar poem which I will post right now.
Thank you for bringing it to my attention.
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:21 am
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