Save the Commas!

[Midnight_Kitten6216]

I was reading this story
and this section is kinda what it's like, with too many commas.

“Oh, no we just wanted to show Seth, my birthday present.” Syler told them showing off her card. Randy and Luna only smiled.

“We’ll, be off.” Peyton said grabbing Syler by the arm and pulling her towards the door.

“We’ll, be back later, Seth.” Syler said, “Got shopping to do you know.”

And hopefully you noticed the absence of certain commas.

Oh the horror!  

[The Man who was Thursday]

Okay?  

[ljosberinn]

Erm. How can those commas possibly fit in there?

So it should be something like this, maybe?

“Oh, no, we just wanted to show Seth my birthday present,” Syler told them, showing off her card. Randy and Luna only smiled.

“We’ll be off,” Peyton said, grabbing Syler by the arm and pulling her towards the door.

“We’ll be back later,(?) Seth,” Syler said. “Got shopping to do,(?) you know.”

Or that's how I would've done it at least sweatdrop
Was it a printed story or a fanfiction or something? And isn't there a "Horror stories" forum somewhere, where this topic would've fitted better?

 

[Ame Yuki Kaze]

Egads, the horror. There should have been a comma after each quote and not in the places where they were. Yikes and gadzooks.

Another pet peeve of mine is when some people use commas in place of periods.  

[The Man who was Thursday]

ljosberinn

Erm. How can those commas possibly fit in there?

So it should be something like this, maybe?

“Oh, no, we just wanted to show Seth my birthday present,” Syler told them, showing off her card. Randy and Luna only smiled.

“We’ll be off,” Peyton said, grabbing Syler by the arm and pulling her towards the door.

“We’ll be back later,(?) Seth,” Syler said. “Got shopping to do,(?) you know.”

Or that's how I would've done it at least sweatdrop
Was it a printed story or a fanfiction or something? And isn't there a "Horror stories" forum somewhere, where this topic would've fitted better?

Good point; it doesn't exactly fit, but I think it fits better there than here.  

[ilovemaryjayne]

eek

Oh my, please save those commas! There are also more things wrong with that sentence other than commas. Oh dear.