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Underneath The Underneath
The sun slowly crept over the horizon. A new dawn was breaking, and with it, the people of Konoha awoke. The resident blonde loudmouth made his way to his usual team meeting spot.
Please... hear what i'm not saying.
As he walked through the village, he calmly ignored the harsh, loathing glares thrown at him by villagers. The whispers of 'demon' and 'monster' falling on ears that were not listening. Years of the same treatment had taught him to ignore them.
Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the mask i wear. For i wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks, masks that i'm afraid to take off, and none of them are me.
He neared the bridge and spied his teamates, already waiting. He instantly slapped on a large, stupid, fox-like grin and continued on his way.
Pretending is an art that is second nature with me, but don't be fooled.
Naruto rushed towards them loosing his normal loud greeting. "Oooohhhhaaaayyyooo!! Sakura-chan, Sasuke-teme!" "Hn" was all he got from Sasuke."Urasai! Naruto-no-baka!" Sakura shouted, whacking Naruto over the head with her fist. He pouted, "what was that for Sakura-chan?!" 'Kami-sama, I hate pretending to like her.' "Just leave me alone baka!" came Sakura's rude reply. In truth, Naruto really didn't like the pink-haired kunoichi, but it was apart of his mask, so he continued the act.
I give the impression that i'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without; that confidence is my name, and coolness is my game; that the waters are calm and I'm in command and I need no one. But don't believe it; please don't.
After hours of waiting, Kakashi finally appeared in his standard poof of smoke.
"Yo!"
"You're late!" Sakura and Naruto shouted in unison.
"Sorry, I had to wait for a herd of buffalo to cross the road of life" Kakashi stated cheerily.
"Liar!" came the response.
And so the normal exchange of yelling and such ended. "Well, I just wanted to let you three know..."
I idly chatter with you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything thats really nothing, nothing of whats crying within me.
"...that there is no training or missions today!" Kakashi exclaimed the statement like the next book of Icha Icha Paradise just came out.(yeah, he said it that happily)
"Nani?! Why not sensei?!" Naruto yelled in protest.
So when I'm going through my routine, don't be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying; what I'd like to be able to say; what, for survival, I need to say but can't say.
"Stop complaining dobe." Sasuke's statement came calmly, stopping anymore arguments. "What did you call me teme?!" he demanded angrily. "Don't call Sasuke-kun that Naruto! He could beat you up anytime!" Sakura shrieked. Sasuke, despite himself, smirked arrogantly. 'SHANNARO, I'LL KILL THAT BAKA FOR INSULTING SASUKE-KUN!' Inner Sakura chimed in her opinion. Naruto just pouted, though on the inside, he was scowling at the annoying fangirl. ' So annoying, so loud.' "MY EARDRUMS, SOMEBODY CALL THE MEDICS!" 'Oh stop it kyuubi' The fox became silent, though grudgingly.
I dislike the hiding. Honestly I do. I dislike the superficial phony games I'm playing. I'd really like to be genuine, spontaneous, and me; but you have to help me.
"Well, I got training to do, ja!" Naruto let one of his fake smiles slip onto his face, closing his eyes and hiding his pain behind the toothy grin. He reopened his eyes, turned and ran off. No one noticed the look in his eyes, crying out for help. No one that is, except for the ever observant Copy Ninja. He watched his student dissappear, before he himself left, curious of the look in Naruto's eyes. Said student was currently running to the academy, towards the swing, to try and sort out his feelings. Kakashi landed in the tree, hiding himself as he watched the orange-clad shinobi situate himself on the wooden swing.
You have to help me by holding out your hand, even when thats the last thing I seem to want or need. Each time you are kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings.
Naruto sat back a softness coming to his eyes, and a calm look crossing his face. He began to hum, soon turning to singing. Kakashi was suprised, he didn't think Naruto was the musical type, as he was very good at it, and as he paid attention to the lyrics, he realized, he never really knew his student.
We're not gonna be just a part of their game.
We're not gonna be just the victims.
They're taking our dreams and they tear them apart,
till everyones the same.
I've got no place to go.
I've got no where to run.
They love to watch me fall.
They think they know it all.
I'm a nightmare, a disaster,
that's what they always said.
I'm a lost cause, not a hero,
but I'll make it on my own.
I've gotta prove them wrong,
me against the world.
It's me against the world.
We won't let them change how we feel in our hearts.
We're not gonna let them control us.
We won't let them shove all their thoughts in our heads.
And we'll never be like them.
I've got no place to go.
I've got no where to run.
They love to watch me fall.
They think they know it all.
I'm a nightmare, a disaster,
that's what they always said.
I'm a lost cause, not a hero,
but I'll make it on my own.
I've gotta prove them wrong,
me against the world.
Me against the world.
Now I'm sick of this waiting, so come on and take your shot.
You can spit out your insults, but nothing you say is gonna change us.
You can sit there and judge me.
Say what you want to.
We'll never let you in.
I'm a nightmare, a disaster,
that's what they always said.
I'm a lost cause, not a hero,
but I'll make it on my own.
Me against the world.
I'm a nightmare, a disaster,
that's what they always said.
I'm a lost cause, not a hero,
but I'll make it on my own.
I've gotta prove them wrong,
they'll never bring us down,
we'll never fall in line,
I'll make it on my own.
Me against the world.
The song concluded, and Naruto rose to his feet and left, he had known his sensei was there, his skills were at the level of a sennin, he just chose not to show it. Kakashi was then left to his thoughts.
Very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings.
The one-eyed ninja shook his head, he had a lot to think about. He decided that tomorrow would start the new perspective of his 'dead-last' student.
With your sensitivity and sympathy and your power of understanding, I can make it. You can breathe life into me.
The next day, Kakashi met his students early. Naruto was the first to notice and looked up at him, the pain happened to be shining through his eyes, uncovered by his normal fake happiness. He cringed when he saw the look, no one his age should have that look. The pain then vanished as amusement sparked Naruto's eyes, before, "Kakashi-sensei, you're on time!" His other two students were instantly looking at him, surprise evident on Sakura's face. "Why are you on time today?" she questioned his punctuality. "Are you feeling alright?" Kakashi laughed lightly."I'm fine, it just seems that the road of life was clear this morning." Naruto watched him, for once not making a fool of himself.
It will not be easy for you. A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
Kakashi suddenly grinned, "Alright today, you three are getting training. Sakura, I've arranged for you to work with Kurenai on your genjutsu. Sasuke, you're with Gai." This statement surprised everyone, even Sasuke looked up at him. "What? But, sensei don't you normally train Sasuke yourself?" He sighed at the girl, before answering," Hai, but today is not normal." "What about me sensei?" Naruto finally piped up, glad that sasuke wasn't being trained by Kakashi, but worried about his own training. "Well, when I said today wasn't normal, I meant it. Naruto, you're with me." This made Naruto's eyes widen, he was behind his teamates, so only Kakashi could see the true smile that warmed his face. Only half of a smile, but still true.
But love is stronger than strong walls, and therein lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands, for a child is very sensitive.
That afternoon, Naruto could be seen bouncing down the street to Ichiraku's. Kakashi calmly walked beside him. He did not think Naruto was so strong. In the all-taijutsu spar, Naruto had won. His ninjutsu was genius, his own original techniques were astounding and deadly. His genjutsus were either weak or could kill an oponent in seconds. Naruto soaked in knowledge like a sponge and Kakashi was happy to add to his vast information store. They reached the ramen stand and Naruto was slurping down ramen, at a suprisingly calm rate. Kakashi had seen beneath the mask Naruto used to hide behind, as a shield. And he had seen a person, a shinobi, who had blown him away. He had seen underneath the underneath.
And I am a child.
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