"Your religion, if you choose to give it"

[The Bookwyrm]

It was a standard enough question, thrown in with all of the usual healthcare related questions I get asked to confirm at the hospital: Address, phone number, next of kin... However this is the only hospital I've ever encountered that asks for my religion.

I like to think of myself as a proud Pagan; I know how and what I am, and I ask for the same respect that I pay any other faith. But it seemed like some sort of horrible violation, sitting at the registry desk with the nurse in the little Catholic town of Antigonish, and being asked for my religion "should I choose to give it." That they asked at all implies that they expect me to give it, and I should be able to give it. Wicca is a recognized religion in Canada.

But I couldn't do it.

I don't know what the fear was. Whether I was afraide of a dirty look, or that I would be living the horror story of a friend wherein they would not write down my religion as stated. Instead, I sat there and politely demured feeling as though I was betraying myself, and chastising myself by saying "You'd have given it anywhere else; in a city you wouldn't have even hesitated!" There's just something terrifying about this small, Catholic community...

Perhaps it's just me, but does it make anyone else uncomfortable in a similar setting to be asked for a statement of religious faith? Has anyone else even encountered it? Admittedly, most of NeoPaganism has a strong tendency towards privacy of faith, of people not knowing more than they need to know, but is my aversion to being asked so simple a question a product of that, or perhaps anxeity and lack of sleep?  

[Jezehbelle]

It depends on present company...

I'm still under my Dad's insurance, so if that was a question at a healthcare facility, I wouldn't've answered. I might've answered "other" if there was a list to check off from, but I more than likely wouldn't've answered.

When I'm asked, in person, what I believe in, it just depends. If it's some person from Waffle House, I'd answer (there's this weird thing around here that people actually will do tarot readings AT Waffle House, or at other casual resteraunts... ).
If it's WalMart at 2 am, when I'm getting dog food or something that can't wait till morning, and someone comes up and asks me what my religion is it, again, depends. Sometimes, if it's a Christian tract, I'll say, I grew up Pentacoastal/Baptist (because both are true).
If it's a Mormon, I let them know that I'm (indirectly) related to one of the higher Melchizedek priests by blood (my neice and nephew's biological grandfather is pretty much at the top there in Utah...).
Othertimes, and this depends on my mood and their methods, I'll say something along the lines of "I'm Pagan and much happier now that I am Pagan than I was as a Christian. I'm not ashamed of my life or my faith, so in the end if I find out I'm wrong, I'll be fine with going to Hell, because I lived my life the best I could." usually followed by "have a blessed evening" while they sit there dazed and confused...

(I get 4 religious tracts a week, on average...)

If someone asked me what my necklaces mean and why I wear them, the answer still depends. One of them is a (not so common) triskelion, and the other is two-sided -- it's shaped like a triangle one side has a celtic trinity knot, the other side has the All Seeing Eye on it, but still the answer would depend on the person. They've both got trinity symbols, and that's the answer I give to more Christians, the Eye (depending on the person) is either because I like eyes in general, and a reminder of God knowing and seeing all. All of this is true, but there's more to it than the surface..

The answer I give to others, for the Triskelion, is that three is the number of creation, a combination of masculine (1) and feminine (2), and it also has an upward pointing triangle, which represents fire, and that's my element on both zodiacs. For the other necklace, the answer is mostly the same for the trinity knot, but the other side, it's part for my family's religious history and part because I really like eyes. Eyes are the gateway to the soul. My great-grandfather was a Freemason, and hardly anyone in the family knew until after he died, for example. There's been a lot of people in my family that have been "something else" or died "something else" other than Christianity. While I would've loved to know what my paternal grandfather's religion was before my grandma got cancer (he had an extreme reverence for the land, a pretty vast knowledge of herbology, and came from mountain Irish and Native...) but...

There's only one eye that matters in knowing, and that's your's. If you don't feel like saying it to everyone, don't. In fact, there are books out there on how to be the perfect stranger...  

[Starlock]

I sometimes haven't known how to respond the few times I've been asked either. The main issue that comes into it for me when someone asks is "how can I present this in such a way that they might actually understand what I practice?" Using the word Neopagan, unfortunately, isn't one of those ways. If I do use it, I have to clarify it somewhat. Or I might avoid the word Neopagan entirely and simply say "I follow a Nature-based religious/spiritual path" and sometimes might compare it to something else the person is more familiar with, like Native American beliefs, Shinto, or even the Druids from Dungeons and Dragons. You can't get into that much detail on a simple survey, though I bet! As with Jezehbelle, though, exactly how I respond does depend somewhat upon the surrounding context.

I do kinda understand the feeling of being proud of what you are and yet fearful if pegging yourself that way towards other people. It isn't neccesarily that you're afraid to share *what* you are, but that you're afraid people won't understand. That's a pretty valid fear given that most Americans have a terrible religious literacy for any religion other than their own, nevermind something a bit more obscure like modern Pagan paths! We don't want to be judged as something we're not. For that reason, I don't forsee myself introducing myself as a "Witch" anytime soon. That wouldn't present the impression I want to present to someone who is Pagan illiterate.  

[Neko_Bast]

On paperwork I usually don't enter my religion because my mom taught me that the only people that need to know that is me, and I should only tell others if I want to.  

[Seira Relur]

The only time I mentioned my religion in paperwork was when it was just a color-in-the-circle. I just don't find it means anything to inform the whole world when not the whole world will just shrug it off or mind their own business. This one guy in my graduating class recieved a lot of crap for saying he was athiest. I figure if they have a problem with him not believing in any god, they'd have at least as large of a problem with me believing in "too many gods".  

[Nihilistic Seraph]

Well, I think it's understandable to feel that way in a small Catholic town, and yes, I think the tendency among Neo-Paganism is to have a personalised faith. Seeing as not many things in life actually require us or give benefits to us by declaring our spiritualities, I think we somply don't think of telling people, and are thus a little off-guard when people ask us. Personally, I tend to just answer that I'm a pantheist (which really confused a proselytiser in the metro) and leave it at that.  

[DR490N]

personally, i don't see how this is a problem. i don't personally have any set religion that i follow, though i would consider myself a celtic pagan, for the most part. i pick and choose where i follow, believe in all gods save for those of monotheism(excluding buddhism, which some would group into monotheistic practise), and to simply say "pagan" is not a problem for me. i suppose i'm just open that way. i mean, canada is a 'free country', and i use that term in a very basic sense, i guess i'm just cynical, but i digress. Honestly, if some bigoted ******** decides to discriminate against me for being pagan, then ******** em. their bloody choice, and i'll curse them later(i'm half joking on that one). if some jackass doctor decides not to treat me based on my religion or to treat me differently based on my religion, again, ******** em. they will lose my respect and that's their problem, not mine.

now, if you don't want to admit to being pagan, maybe it's high time you re-evalute your choice in religions and see about looking into a different one.  

[Nihilistic Seraph]

DR490N

now, if you don't want to admit to being pagan, maybe it's high time you re-evalute your choice in religions and see about looking into a different one.

That's kinda judgemental, don't you think? Just because someone doesn't want to admit that they are pagan it doesn't mean they don't deserve to be one. In my opinion, one's faith should be an aspect of them, not their representative aspect. If I know someone that has a problem with paganism, I just won't bring up the topic. If it comes up, then so be it, but one shouldn't have to wear their faith on their sleeve.

Discretion is the better part of valour. If I can get a doctor to treat me by not telling him my religion, or even lieing I would probably do so.  

[Starlock]

Nihilistic Seraph

DR490N

now, if you don't want to admit to being pagan, maybe it's high time you re-evalute your choice in religions and see about looking into a different one.

That's kinda judgemental, don't you think? Just because someone doesn't want to admit that they are pagan it doesn't mean they don't deserve to be one. In my opinion, one's faith should be an aspect of them, not their representative aspect. If I know someone that has a problem with paganism, I just won't bring up the topic. If it comes up, then so be it, but one shouldn't have to wear their faith on their sleeve.

Discretion is the better part of valour. If I can get a doctor to treat me by not telling him my religion, or even lieing I would probably do so.

In some ways I tenatively agree with Dr49gon, with a few more caveats and conditionals. I think that it really *is* important to be comfortable with who you are and proud of what you are, not just religiously, but in general. If you're afraid to be yourself around others, it is a good sign you should start looking at your life with a bit of scrutiny to figure out how you can improve. That improvement could make you more self-confident and comfortable with who you are as a person. It may not mean changing your religious path or some other more drastic shift. Just taking some time to cross check yourself can be helpful every so often.

Not wanting to present certain aspects of yourself is normal, however and often wise, hence the tenaciousness of my agreement. What needs to be examined is one's reasons for NOT presenting those aspects and if they speak to self-doubt or lack of confidence, things might need changing. If it speaks to fear (ie persecution), that might signal the need for a different kind of change... one in the greater society but not in yourself.  

[Nihilistic Seraph]

Hmm, I think we need to distinguish a very fine line here between being uncomfortable with your own place in relation to others, and uncomfortable in relation to what others expect you to be.  

[Starlock]

Nihilistic Seraph

Hmm, I think we need to distinguish a very fine line here between being uncomfortable with your own place in relation to others, and uncomfortable in relation to what others expect you to be.

True. There are subtle distinctions between healthy "being in the closet" and unhealthy "being in the closet." I'm not sure I made that very well in my post... xd  

[DR490N]

seraph, i think you've misunderstood my meaning. personally, though i do not agree with wicca and consider it's philosophies and ideals to be woefully innacurate and in some cases even pointless or useless, i believe one has the freedom to choose whatever the hell they want. what i was saying wasnt in relation to paganism in general, but to the religion in itself. far too oft have i spoken to people who are former wiccans and left the religion for the simple reasons i have stated above, and i gather from several brief statements that the OP here is wiccan.

what i'm saying is that perhaps some part of them, concious or subconcious, feels dissatisfied or ashamed in some way shape or form of the choice in religion(lets face it, despite what anyone says, polytheism is discouraged in the western world, and generally looked down upon). when it comes down to it, the issue here is pride. do you feel comfortable with your choice in religions? do you feel as if this spiritual path you have chosen is where you belong? do you feel as if your gods care enough for you to treat you as a friend instead of an inferior?(somewhat biased that one. i deal primarily with the celtic gods, and being a dragon, i have some great respect from them. they treat me as an equal, and in fact helped me retake some astral territory). but i digress. back to the topic and point at hand, what i am saying is that i think they should re-evaluate their choice and do some serious "soul-searching"(i despise the term but have utilized it for want of a better word) and really truly look hard at their spiritual path, perhaps seeking out other ways of dealing with spirituality. the way i see it, if you can't be proud enough to come right out and say "THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE AND IF YOU'LL JUDGE ME WRONGFULLY ON IT, ******** YOU.", then you really shouldnt be on that path in the first place.  

[Christina Prince]

That's what the "other" option is for smile  

[Atma311]

The question is: why does it matter? My religious choices affect myself and only myself (as long as I don't go out of my way to cause harm to anyone). The only time you'll ever have to worry about letting others know what religion you are should be during marrages and funerals. There are very few other times where it should have any affect on anything.

Being proud of your religion doesn't mean you have to tell everyone and their mother. It's YOUR business what religion you are, just like any other private matter, like sexual orientation, your political stance, or anything like that.

Just my humble opinion, though 3nodding  

[blindfaith^_^]

Christina Prince

That's what the "other" option is for smile

3nodding I don't think I've filled out an application where my religion hasn't been asked for in the form. I never even considered whether that was odd, I just always check off "other". No one asks me more than that and I would never mention my religion unless someone asked. I don't mind dealing with the fallout or surprise that often happens when I have to explain my religion, but I do think there is a time and place for that and work is neither an appropriate time or place.

On top of that, the answer to such a question is complex and how exactly I answer is suited to audience an time. I mean usually I prefer to state that I am a monist, but then I've got to explain that monist believes that everything is made up of one material, in my case I feel everything can be broken back down in to energy and all that energy is the same basic unit. But while this explains my concept od deity, it tells one nothing about my practice or why I think these beliefs generally fall into the pagan/neo-pagan branch.