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What do you think of this poem? |
Great |
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40% |
[ 2 ] |
Good |
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40% |
[ 2 ] |
Bad |
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20% |
[ 1 ] |
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Total Votes : 5 |
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 4:20 am
This is a poem I wrote not long ago. Please comment if you read it.
Thin Masque
Cloaked in darkness Dressed in starfields my eyes green as the new leaves piercing through the shaded reality
No tears, only pride now I've learned to keep emotions at bay Cause on the inside I'm shattered A damage done a long time ago
I seem distant my mother wonder what is wrong when her oldest child remain cold without a feeling visible
I'm the one who have to be strong the trusted cliff the unbreakable heart
But the truth is an other one I am torn on the inside My sould cowering My heart shattered many times
The cold is only a facade A thin masque it will break if there is one drop to much
When the calmnss crack a beast is set free turning on you fighting desperately
In my calmness and serenity I stand strong A cliff of support but on the inside there is a sould in despair
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:02 am
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 4:32 pm
It has nice flow to it. I have to say. but the only thing i would suggest is to buy a thesorus (i'm sorry i really can't spell) or go to rhymezone.com it is a really great site for definitions, synonyms, rhymes and everything. its really good though.
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