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 Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:46 am
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Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 3:42 am
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Posted: Thu May 10, 2007 3:57 am
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Posted: Thu May 10, 2007 1:28 pm
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Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 9:52 pm
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scream_love ok, get ready cause im geting ready to spill my heart out. im so confused and i dont know what to do. theres this guy i dated for 2 years then we just broke up and now its been 3 years and i miss him with all my heart. i cry myself to sleep and often leave the people im with to go hide and cry. im miss him so much it hurts i dont know what to do. i screwed everything up with him when we were going out and the last time i talked to him was forever ago and he said that we would get back togeather when he gets his licens and then we could see eachother all the time. but idk if he is reall going to do that because of all the stupid stuff i have done. i just want to kill myself everytime i think about him, cause i know i will never be in his arms again and i will never beable to feel his arms around me and i will never be able to kiss him again. this is killing me slowly. another probalem i have is that im bisexual and i REALLY dont want my parents to find out. i think im influensing my brother to be the same way. cause like i tell him what to wear and how to act and everything cause he asks me too its not like i just do it to control him. but he has made out with 2 different guys and he cuts and he dresses like a chick. oh and hes an a** to me like right now hes screamming at me making it really hard for me to type. and i cant really fight back because hes twice my size. i have brusis and everything and he dosen't even care. but i have this friend and she is so beautiful and shes like the most awsome chick i've ever met but shes going out with this dumb a** and he cheats on her and is mean to here but she refuses to break up with him. i just dont understand why she wont and we hold hands every day while waling down the halls at school. and we talk on the phone constently (at least when shes not talking to gavin.) another probalem i have is that im fat. well ok im not FAT, but ok i weigh about 156 and im 5' 4. but my ideal weight is to be 110. every day i wear a hoodie and a pair of jeans. and i look so huge to im too scared to wear anything els. i've been sorta starving my self. i dont eat unless i ABSOLUTLY have to. and when i do i go on like a hiddiusly long walk to burn it all off.(mostly cause i cant stand pucking.) i hate this so much. and again i just want to die! sorry for rambaling on about my probalems for so long and taking up so much space. |
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 3:06 pm
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Saphira_bluedragon scream_love ok, get ready cause im geting ready to spill my heart out. im so confused and i dont know what to do. theres this guy i dated for 2 years then we just broke up and now its been 3 years and i miss him with all my heart. i cry myself to sleep and often leave the people im with to go hide and cry. im miss him so much it hurts i dont know what to do. i screwed everything up with him when we were going out and the last time i talked to him was forever ago and he said that we would get back togeather when he gets his licens and then we could see eachother all the time. but idk if he is reall going to do that because of all the stupid stuff i have done. i just want to kill myself everytime i think about him, cause i know i will never be in his arms again and i will never beable to feel his arms around me and i will never be able to kiss him again. this is killing me slowly. another probalem i have is that im bisexual and i REALLY dont want my parents to find out. i think im influensing my brother to be the same way. cause like i tell him what to wear and how to act and everything cause he asks me too its not like i just do it to control him. but he has made out with 2 different guys and he cuts and he dresses like a chick. oh and hes an a** to me like right now hes screamming at me making it really hard for me to type. and i cant really fight back because hes twice my size. i have brusis and everything and he dosen't even care. but i have this friend and she is so beautiful and shes like the most awsome chick i've ever met but shes going out with this dumb a** and he cheats on her and is mean to here but she refuses to break up with him. i just dont understand why she wont and we hold hands every day while waling down the halls at school. and we talk on the phone constently (at least when shes not talking to gavin.) another probalem i have is that im fat. well ok im not FAT, but ok i weigh about 156 and im 5' 4. but my ideal weight is to be 110. every day i wear a hoodie and a pair of jeans. and i look so huge to im too scared to wear anything els. i've been sorta starving my self. i dont eat unless i ABSOLUTLY have to. and when i do i go on like a hiddiusly long walk to burn it all off.(mostly cause i cant stand pucking.) i hate this so much. and again i just want to die! sorry for rambaling on about my probalems for so long and taking up so much space. Starving your self won't let you lose weight. Listen If you eat right have healthy snacks and walk atleast a mile daily You can lose weight. Btw not being mean just helping. And about your guy YOU call him up and tell him how you feel then just hang up It works for me.
thanks i'll try the callin him thing and i've recently desided that starving myself wasnt the solution. i am now on a very healthy diet. thanks again. smile |
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 6:28 pm
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scream_love Saphira_bluedragon scream_love ok, get ready cause im geting ready to spill my heart out. im so confused and i dont know what to do. theres this guy i dated for 2 years then we just broke up and now its been 3 years and i miss him with all my heart. i cry myself to sleep and often leave the people im with to go hide and cry. im miss him so much it hurts i dont know what to do. i screwed everything up with him when we were going out and the last time i talked to him was forever ago and he said that we would get back togeather when he gets his licens and then we could see eachother all the time. but idk if he is reall going to do that because of all the stupid stuff i have done. i just want to kill myself everytime i think about him, cause i know i will never be in his arms again and i will never beable to feel his arms around me and i will never be able to kiss him again. this is killing me slowly. another probalem i have is that im bisexual and i REALLY dont want my parents to find out. i think im influensing my brother to be the same way. cause like i tell him what to wear and how to act and everything cause he asks me too its not like i just do it to control him. but he has made out with 2 different guys and he cuts and he dresses like a chick. oh and hes an a** to me like right now hes screamming at me making it really hard for me to type. and i cant really fight back because hes twice my size. i have brusis and everything and he dosen't even care. but i have this friend and she is so beautiful and shes like the most awsome chick i've ever met but shes going out with this dumb a** and he cheats on her and is mean to here but she refuses to break up with him. i just dont understand why she wont and we hold hands every day while waling down the halls at school. and we talk on the phone constently (at least when shes not talking to gavin.) another probalem i have is that im fat. well ok im not FAT, but ok i weigh about 156 and im 5' 4. but my ideal weight is to be 110. every day i wear a hoodie and a pair of jeans. and i look so huge to im too scared to wear anything els. i've been sorta starving my self. i dont eat unless i ABSOLUTLY have to. and when i do i go on like a hiddiusly long walk to burn it all off.(mostly cause i cant stand pucking.) i hate this so much. and again i just want to die! sorry for rambaling on about my probalems for so long and taking up so much space. Starving your self won't let you lose weight. Listen If you eat right have healthy snacks and walk atleast a mile daily You can lose weight. Btw not being mean just helping. And about your guy YOU call him up and tell him how you feel then just hang up It works for me. thanks i'll try the callin him thing and i've recently desided that starving myself wasnt the solution. i am now on a very healthy diet. thanks again. smile |
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 3:42 am
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Saphira_bluedragon scream_love Saphira_bluedragon scream_love ok, get ready cause im geting ready to spill my heart out. im so confused and i dont know what to do. theres this guy i dated for 2 years then we just broke up and now its been 3 years and i miss him with all my heart. i cry myself to sleep and often leave the people im with to go hide and cry. im miss him so much it hurts i dont know what to do. i screwed everything up with him when we were going out and the last time i talked to him was forever ago and he said that we would get back togeather when he gets his licens and then we could see eachother all the time. but idk if he is reall going to do that because of all the stupid stuff i have done. i just want to kill myself everytime i think about him, cause i know i will never be in his arms again and i will never beable to feel his arms around me and i will never be able to kiss him again. this is killing me slowly. another probalem i have is that im bisexual and i REALLY dont want my parents to find out. i think im influensing my brother to be the same way. cause like i tell him what to wear and how to act and everything cause he asks me too its not like i just do it to control him. but he has made out with 2 different guys and he cuts and he dresses like a chick. oh and hes an a** to me like right now hes screamming at me making it really hard for me to type. and i cant really fight back because hes twice my size. i have brusis and everything and he dosen't even care. but i have this friend and she is so beautiful and shes like the most awsome chick i've ever met but shes going out with this dumb a** and he cheats on her and is mean to here but she refuses to break up with him. i just dont understand why she wont and we hold hands every day while waling down the halls at school. and we talk on the phone constently (at least when shes not talking to gavin.) another probalem i have is that im fat. well ok im not FAT, but ok i weigh about 156 and im 5' 4. but my ideal weight is to be 110. every day i wear a hoodie and a pair of jeans. and i look so huge to im too scared to wear anything els. i've been sorta starving my self. i dont eat unless i ABSOLUTLY have to. and when i do i go on like a hiddiusly long walk to burn it all off.(mostly cause i cant stand pucking.) i hate this so much. and again i just want to die! sorry for rambaling on about my probalems for so long and taking up so much space. Starving your self won't let you lose weight. Listen If you eat right have healthy snacks and walk atleast a mile daily You can lose weight. Btw not being mean just helping. And about your guy YOU call him up and tell him how you feel then just hang up It works for me. thanks i'll try the callin him thing and i've recently desided that starving myself wasnt the solution. i am now on a very healthy diet. thanks again. smile Good and I'm glad I can help >.< I feel like an online Dr.Phil
lol well i did get the curage to call him and all i have is his cell phone number and he doesne have it any more (he never keeps one for over a month). and i did loose almost 10 pounds already. |
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Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 5:59 pm
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scream_love Saphira_bluedragon scream_love Saphira_bluedragon scream_love ok, get ready cause im geting ready to spill my heart out. im so confused and i dont know what to do. theres this guy i dated for 2 years then we just broke up and now its been 3 years and i miss him with all my heart. i cry myself to sleep and often leave the people im with to go hide and cry. im miss him so much it hurts i dont know what to do. i screwed everything up with him when we were going out and the last time i talked to him was forever ago and he said that we would get back togeather when he gets his licens and then we could see eachother all the time. but idk if he is reall going to do that because of all the stupid stuff i have done. i just want to kill myself everytime i think about him, cause i know i will never be in his arms again and i will never beable to feel his arms around me and i will never be able to kiss him again. this is killing me slowly. another probalem i have is that im bisexual and i REALLY dont want my parents to find out. i think im influensing my brother to be the same way. cause like i tell him what to wear and how to act and everything cause he asks me too its not like i just do it to control him. but he has made out with 2 different guys and he cuts and he dresses like a chick. oh and hes an a** to me like right now hes screamming at me making it really hard for me to type. and i cant really fight back because hes twice my size. i have brusis and everything and he dosen't even care. but i have this friend and she is so beautiful and shes like the most awsome chick i've ever met but shes going out with this dumb a** and he cheats on her and is mean to here but she refuses to break up with him. i just dont understand why she wont and we hold hands every day while waling down the halls at school. and we talk on the phone constently (at least when shes not talking to gavin.) another probalem i have is that im fat. well ok im not FAT, but ok i weigh about 156 and im 5' 4. but my ideal weight is to be 110. every day i wear a hoodie and a pair of jeans. and i look so huge to im too scared to wear anything els. i've been sorta starving my self. i dont eat unless i ABSOLUTLY have to. and when i do i go on like a hiddiusly long walk to burn it all off.(mostly cause i cant stand pucking.) i hate this so much. and again i just want to die! sorry for rambaling on about my probalems for so long and taking up so much space. Starving your self won't let you lose weight. Listen If you eat right have healthy snacks and walk atleast a mile daily You can lose weight. Btw not being mean just helping. And about your guy YOU call him up and tell him how you feel then just hang up It works for me. thanks i'll try the callin him thing and i've recently desided that starving myself wasnt the solution. i am now on a very healthy diet. thanks again. smile Good and I'm glad I can help >.< I feel like an online Dr.Phil lol well i did get the curage to call him and all i have is his cell phone number and he doesne have it any more (he never keeps one for over a month). and i did loose almost 10 pounds already. |
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Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 4:33 pm
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Okay, well, I'm going to try this whole 'sharing' thing, and see if it helps me any...Okay!
Well, see, my dad was killed last year in early June, and it's getting really close to that day THIS year...and it's getting really hard for me to just...how do I was this...uh...Keep from breaking down...Yeah, anyway. Even at school, Something will trigger a thought of him, and I'll just start crying, but I refuse to talk to anyone about it so I take out all that stress and anger but cutting. I know it's not healty, but it's really the only way I can deal with it...or more like the only day I have FOUND to deal with it. It doesn't help that my mom is in jail for punching some lady for threatening to kill me, gun at hand. And like I said, she was put in jail until the end of July, and once again, another reason that I cut. I mean, YEAH, some of my friends know...but...I have this friend Randi, and she said that if she ever found out that I cut myself again, she would kill me.....I have done it like...30 times sence then. I feel really bad for it, I just don't know what to do. I think I'm addicted. Scary.
Also, I have this guy that I LOVE with all my heart, and his name is Nate. He lives in Ohio...and I live in Missouri. I mean, yeah, he loves me back...but he's all the way in OHIO...and it's just hard being away from the person I love SO MUCH...I just don't know what to do...Help?
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 10:59 am
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Chillizzel Okay, well, I'm going to try this whole 'sharing' thing, and see if it helps me any...Okay! Well, see, my dad was killed last year in early June, and it's getting really close to that day THIS year...and it's getting really hard for me to just...how do I was this...uh...Keep from breaking down...Yeah, anyway. Even at school, Something will trigger a thought of him, and I'll just start crying, but I refuse to talk to anyone about it so I take out all that stress and anger but cutting. I know it's not healty, but it's really the only way I can deal with it...or more like the only day I have FOUND to deal with it. It doesn't help that my mom is in jail for punching some lady for threatening to kill me, gun at hand. And like I said, she was put in jail until the end of July, and once again, another reason that I cut. I mean, YEAH, some of my friends know...but...I have this friend Randi, and she said that if she ever found out that I cut myself again, she would kill me.....I have done it like...30 times sence then. I feel really bad for it, I just don't know what to do. I think I'm addicted. Scary. Also, I have this guy that I LOVE with all my heart, and his name is Nate. He lives in Ohio...and I live in Missouri. I mean, yeah, he loves me back...but he's all the way in OHIO...and it's just hard being away from the person I love SO MUCH...I just don't know what to do...Help? Ok heres the deal your parents are a major impact in your life correct? If so you need to find a way to deal with the pain without causing physical pain. It may feel good to cut but your body is screaming no every time you take a knife to where ever you cut. Just think if you cut to deep... well lets not go there. If you need more help on that pm me please. And for the guy long distance relationships can be sexy. It can get you excited for when you see him next. I'm sorry if anything i said offended you and again PM me for help I am always here just know that.
<3 Saphira |
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 11:00 am
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Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 10:14 am
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Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:08 pm
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i hate it when people stero-type and think that all emos cut and drink and do drugs and stuff. emo just means emotional. . .and things happen, some people show it more then others.
i personaly am against drugs. . .and so was one of my best friends, but now shes acting all stupid around me (like telling not ment to be told stories around the guy i like really loudly, not to mention smoking "bad stuff") totally ditched me and my other friend like we were imaginary, then and shes all pretending to be emo!!!!! what the hell!?! you dont pretend, you either are or arn't!!! and i know what her life is like, and it could definatly be worse! and shes totaly hanging around with the wrong people, ya know? and i feel like she's been sucked into the evil vortex of sex and social status!! that like what you should crare about the least! its like shes only being this way to hang out with people who dont really care about her! i care for my friends so much, and she being all selffish and stuff when there are people dying from starvation, incureable diseases, and are living the street of major cities where the people around them dont give a damn!!!
god!! the world is so messed up!!! so yeah
i know its not a major problem (almost to the point i wasnt going to make a post, but whatever) and many people have it way worse. to those people, care for youself (no cuttsies), and know that at any point your life can turn around, and it probably will. . .
wow thats corny. . . sweatdrop
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 1:20 pm
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