 |
ok this is my story about my charactor in a book that me and some friend are wrighting on da so I was hoping that some one would look at it and tell me what they think and where I can make it better.
Chapter one.
Eternal darkness
Walking in the under dark is alone is unheard of. Even for the drow elves that live there, unless you have Loth with you or magic with you. She of coarse did not have ether. She was not afraid; she had a power that was beyond comprehension. She was only a few decades old, but is the one most feared in her family. She walk down her path because there was some one she needed to see, some one very special to her. Here in the dark cities in a lightless world underneath the surface lineeriara Derae of the twentieth house in her city was the youngest and more powerful all of her three sisters. She had long luxurious white hair that came down to the middle of her back. She had silky smooth ebony skin, her eyes where a deep shade of crimson, her hands where delicate and soft. Unlike the other female drow she wore armor instead of the typical dress or robe. She carried two short sword attached to her upper thigh. On her back, she carried a broad sword with many enchantments upon it. Around her head, she had a circlet with a star in the middle of it. This too was enchanted but no one knew what it did, net even her mother and that gave her power.
She neared a mushroom grove one of the few places that is considered safe, by drow standard. She past underneath one of the fifteen foot mushrooms and moved farther into the grove. As she moved to the center of the grove, a bright light blinded her. She waited a few minutes and let her eye adjust to the light. There he stood leaning up against on of the stems of a mushroom. He has beautiful white hair that came just below his shoulders. His eye, although they we the same shade and all other drow, but they burned with a inner fire that she couldn't understand. she knew that he hated it here, knew that he longed to go away from here, but most importantly she knew that he loved her. Not the kind love that she knew, but the pure and unconditional love. a love that required nothing of her but that she returned the same love. although she will never admit it she held that same love for him. He wore his house emblem in plain view. He carried two sword that where chained to his arms at his sides.
" You are late my love" he spoke this as he pushed off the stem and walked to her.
" I don't recall having to come on time for a male," she said coldly. "Shyntafein Zauurden." she turned and sat down on a mushroom about the size of a big chair. Shyntafein knew her better then that. He knew how much she really loved him. He came and sat next to her and put his arm around her to pull her close. she allowed this, but she didn't like it. She felt so vulnerable. But she loved to be close to him.
"I want to go to the surface," he stated bluntly "but I won't go with out you"
" You don't need me to go"
"yes I know, but I want you, I love you"
"you know I can't go...I've heard that its cold up there"
"I would keep you warm"
" you couldn't keep me any warmer then yourself."
"I would learn"
" you are a male and can't do much of any thing right," Shyntafein tried to interrupt, but she cut him off, " Have you forgotten or you are to stupid to learn that up there our kind is feared and hated...plus the elves are up there."
“If we can not live up in the surface then let us live here"
"In the under dark? Are you mad?"
“We could do it! You are a fine fighter and I am a weapons master. we could keep each other safe."
"We could keep each other safe for about a day."
"WHY!" he said it so loud that Lineeriara fell from her seat and landed on the floor. she wasn't very tall and as she sat on the floor and Shyntafein stood up she felt very small indeed, "why must you always look upon the bad side of things?"
"Because I-"
“Because you just don't want to believe that we could. That you could become some else then what you are," Lineeriara said nothing and had look away to regain composure, “Lineeriara I love you more then any thing that I know. You are my light in this lightless world. I couldn't stand it if you became a soulless shell, like your mother."
“I am just pointing out that the chances are slim to none of survival."
"Can you say it?" he asked as he pulled her up from the ground.
"Say what?"
"I love you?"
"Why?"
“Because I want to hear it”
“Why should I tell you what you all ready know?” With that she turned and walk out of the grove. Shyntafein watch her depart. Knowing that soon he too would have to go home, and explain where he had been. He had wanted the meeting to be longer, it would have if Lineeriara hadn’t taken so long to get there. He loved her so much and that is why he understood her way of thinking. Knew that she couldn’t understand the selfless love that he had for her.
“Some day you’ll understand” and with that he left.
Chapter two.
Coming home.
Walking into her house was never an easy thing. Lineeriara had become a threat for her sister and she knew that if she gave them the chance they would kill her with out a second thought. They where, however running out of time, soon she would be leaving for the Lolth academy, and when she came home from that she would be even stronger then she was now. What was worst, for them, was that she would no doubt be in Lolth full favor. Because of this they where getting more and more desperate to kill her. Lineeriara had already killed two fine male fighters and one wizard from this house. Lucky for them Lineeriara had not told there mother about this...yet. For if she told there mother, matron Illiamkiira, she sister would suffer severally for it.
Surprisingly she was not attack to day. Even more surprising the house was quiet. It was only this quiet when our house was about to be attacked or is going to attack another house.
I wonder what house we're attacking? It was the thoughts of a passing male. This was one of her greatest secret. It was what the circlet around her head did. It aloud her to read the minds of any one she wished. This is both a blessing and a curse for drow are wicked and deceitful. But with the circlet she was able to know what they wanted when and even knew what they didn't want her to know, but also she knew how others felt about her and so she could never find love. The only way you can protect your mind from her was with strong enchantments or a stronger mind then her. So far the only one that has been able to do this was Shyntanfain.
We’re attacking another house? She thought as she passed them. then a terrifying thought struck her. shyntanfian's house was in front of hers. It was terrifying because she knew that if her house was to attack his, she and her family would have to kill him for he was a noble and if left alive her house whole would be destroyed and her with it. Perhaps it is a lesser house we're attacking, she hoped. She continued down the corridor and had to levitate, an ability that only noble can do, to the next level. She began to head to her room but was intercepted by Shrikacha her elder sister by 10 years. Of all her sister she was the one she likes best. She had just as beautiful hair as Lineeriara maybe even more beautiful. An hour glass body and the smoothest skin you will ever touch. Most believed that if any drow could come close looking like lolth it would be she. This she knew it all to well. She was never a very strong cleric, or fighter, no one knew why. Some believed that it was because so many believed that she was lolth and that angered the goddess. Other believes that she was not very devoted to lolth. To Lineeriara she was the only of her sister that was more concern with her looks to know that she was a puppet to the entire family.
"Come with me," Shrikacha said, but Llineeriara went to push past her but she grabbed her arm, " it's important."
"It’s always important," she sneered, "the last time I trusted YOU, you and the rest of my family brother included tried to kill me… and you failed miserably."
"Not this time. We are going to war and we need you to lead the troops. If we killed you now mother would be ferrous and none of us would be living long happy lives" after that Lineeriara was convinced and followed Shirkacha to her privet room. Once in side she bided her to sit witch she refused.
"What is this about," Lineeriara demanded. For she was afraid, because she couldn’t read her sister mind.
"Where were you?"
"That is my business"
"I'm making it mine"
"I was out on a walk. The air here is so cramped in here " she coyly replied
“Is it?"
"It is" she said contently and then turned to leave
"Shame Shyntanein would be a good stock for you to breed with." Lineerniara wiped around. So this is what she was after.
“I don't know what your talking about."
"Of course you don't. Luckily for you mother doesn’t know," she sat back in her chair thinking that she had her sister in her clutches, "do you know what you will do for u- me?"
"Nothing," she said dryly for in that instance she found what she was looking for. She didn’t need the circlet to tell her that Shrikacha was being played by her sister, "nether will you."
"You’re sure"?
"Yes,"
"You’re wrong"
“Aren’t you tired of being their fool?" she said slyly.
“I suppose I would be. IF I was a fool,” she quickly glanced to the side of her. So quickly that id you had not been raised as a drow you would never have noticed it.
“Akorcicestra can’t help you,” she said as she began to pace around Shrikacha’s chair, “for you are nothing to her but a fool that is expendable.”
“I am more valuable then you.”
“Poor Shrikacha, they think you a fool” her voice was full of sympathy. But she felt none. What did she care if her sister was a fool? It only helps her turn the tides in her favor.
“I don’t need you sympathy!” she shouted. “They know my value”.
“Then why do they speak so ill of you when you back it turned?”
“We are drow it is expected”
“Then tell me why they don’t tell you every thing!” she demanded for now she could hear the thoughts of Akorcicestra from the nexted room. She also knew why she couldn’t read her find for a spell had been cast on Shikacha that block the power of the circlet. “Do you really believe that Shyntanein is really from house Zauurden?”
“if not that house then which one?”
“I don’t see the point in talking to a fool” with that she left. And as she walked she could her Shrikacha shrieks as she walked to her room.
How dare they fallow me. She thought bitterly they told mother. I must find a way to disprove that I …love him. What a strange word love. her thought where intrupted by a male telling her that Matron Illiamkiira wanted to see her. So she began to make her way there. Thinking of a way to disprove her sister with out looking too desperate to disprove them.
|
 |
Reply
