Story Contest-Mission: Kill LOL (and other overused jargins)

[Lord Frappuccino]

This is a story telling / roleplay competition. Que123, the crew, and myself will take a vote on the 15th of August to decide who is the winner. You will need to write a story in a minimum 100 words and use a jargin overused on the internet. The winner will be awarded 5000 gold shortly thereafter. The contest ending date is subject to change.

Okay it is a habit for me to say lol (laugh out loud) quite a lot and I am working to put a deathly end to lol. This post is here for those who have other overused phrases and replacements for them. Also have fun! Add in a little role-play of how you go about putting an end to these mindless internet jargins!

*Icurus takes LOL by the throat, slamming its creepy grin against the wall. "God damn it, stop laughing!" He punches LOL many times in the face, blood splattering from its lips all over the wall. "My god, why are you still laughing!?!" He punches LOL hard into the gut, but LOL keeps laughing. "Okay, you love laughing so much..." He pulls a mask over LOL's face and cuffs him to a chair. "What I have here is what we call 'laughing gas' it'll make you laugh even more until you can no longer breathe!" He turns up the gas to full and LOL begins laughing madly. He begins to laugh so hard, his body begins to shake and the cuffs gouge into his arms as they spazz. LOL's eyes begin to water as he laughs harder, his chest swelling until he suffocates and his lungs burst from laughter and blood seeps down his chin from his laughs. "I hope that is the last time you laugh out loud..." Icurus does an about face, thrusts his katana back behind him, shoving it into LOL's abdomin, twisting the blade some and then pulling it swiftly and cleanly back out and steps out of the room, leaving LOL in the chair to die.  

[que123]

I was doing my meditation one day and was rudely interupted by OMG. I tried to ignore OMG, but it just wouldn't go away. I turned and asked OMG to please be quiet and it replied, "OMG can you beleive the nerve of this guy". That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I jumped up and in the blink of an eye did a leg sweep on OMG and it fell flat on its back. I then, with lightning speed jumped on top of OMG and grabbed it by the throat. I then told OMG, with teeth clenched to be quiet or leave. OMG's reply was," OMG". I got off of OMG and let it get up and again it said, "OMG". "That's IT!", I replied, "now you've done it". I then drew my katana and smacked OMG upside the head with the side of my sword. OMG grabbed the side of its head and replied, "OMG". So I then stomped on OMG's instep and slashed off one of its arms. OMG grabbed its shoulder socket and once again said,"OMG". So I cut off one of its legs and it again replied," OMG" while hopping on one leg. At that point I said,"what do I have to do to end you!". Once again the reply was," OMG". My reply was to slash off OMG's other leg. OMG then fell to the ground and replied, "OMG". As OMG was lying on the ground and pulling itself towards me with its only remaining limb, I heard it say with a weak yet determined voice, "OMG I am OMG, you killed my father, prepare to die!". So I lost it and cut off OMG's remaining arm and pulled out a grenade. I then pulled the pin and the handle went flying off into the air with a swift ching sound. I reached down and grabbed OMG's lower jaw with my four fingers in its mouth and my thumb under its chin and shoved the grenade into its throat. I replied," lets see you talk now" and turned and ran away so I wouldn't get hit by any OMG shrapnel. As I was running away, I heard a very mumble, "ooooommmmggggg", and then a huge blast went off and the shockwave nocked me off of my feet. A few minutes later with still ringing ears, I managed to right myself and stand back up and said, "Finally, I can't beleive how hard it is to get rid of someone these days, OMG!" twisted  

[Lord Frappuccino]

He screwed up royal this time. He tried to get away by saying BRB to me, but I wouldn't let him go- he really screwed up this time. I asked for a quarter pounder with cheese- that means CHEESE ONLY. But no, the idiot brings me a quarter pounder with all this other crap on it, but NO cheese! I told him to come here and he said BRB; how dare he say that to me! I gently place my hand onto his shoulder and smile at him. Then I swiftly pull out my switchblade and hold the tip against his adem's apple. He gulps and says he'll BRB or else he'll piss his pants. I told him to answer my question of why he screwed up my order, pushing the tip into his throat a little, a droplet of blood slides down his neck. "BRB!" He says loudly, his legs start to spazz and he holds onto his crotch, his eyes bulging in urgence while gritting his teeth. "No, I don't think so." I glare hard into his eyes, "why did you screw up my order!? It was a simple quarter pounder with cheese!"
"I'm sorry! BRB..." He tries to run off but I hold him back and then he loses it and pisses his pants, his urine falling onto my nicely polished shoes. I look down at my now piss-covered shoes. "How dare you..." I tell him. "Eh... BRB!" He yells. I quickly turn and knee him hard in the crotch. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He yells. I knee him multiple times. "You... Do... Not... Tell... Me... Be... Right... Back... When... I... Ask... You... A..." His crotch starts to bleed and he looks me dead into the eye. "QUESTION!" I punch him hard in the face, blood splattering out of his mouth and all over the wall behind him. His body slips down the wall slowly. "Sir... I need to BRB..." He begs me. "Don't tell me you are about to s**t your pants..." I tell him. "YES! Now I'll BRB!" He squirms. "Okay, you may go..." He runs off, a trail of blood leading to the men's room. I follow behind and hear the most disgusting sound of him dropping his load in the stall. I light a molotov cocktail and toss it under his stall. The gaseous discharge he left causes a huge explosion, everything disintigrating except the toilet bowl. "I guess you won't BRB this time..."