^^poetry I wrote some time ago^^

[Laimickel]

"The House"

The house is empty,
the furniture, toys and walls
are all as they were,
no more does light elumenate
the now darkened corradors,
no more does laughter dance
on the now silent walls,
the house is empty,
and now,
I too take my leave.

"To War"
I lost my love,
three years ago,
he ran off to war.

He stopped writting,
a year ago,
I got a letter,
saying that during a
Black Storm he dissappeared.

I can still hear his voice,
his foot steps,
and the sound of him
wokinging the fields.

The fields are dying,
that is,
until the Shadow came,
five months ago,
the Shadow works the fields,
has the same voice as,
my love,
and the same foot steps.

I am growing old,
I'm going to die soon,
the Shadow says,
I don't have any children,
he left to war before
we could have any,
but the Shadow says
he'll love me anyway

"Gatekeeper"
The Gatekeeper was the one who created me,
the Gatekeeper was a friend to me,
the Gate keeper was the one who abandoned me,
the Gatekeeper was the one who killed me,
But who killed the Gatekeeper?  

[Rutoh-Chan]

Very interesting. I'm not sure it makes complete sense, but if that mattered I would never be able to write poetry again. I thought it was beautiful, though I'm not sure it flowed quite right. The beginning flows well, but you seem to switch from an older style of speaking to a more modern. This ruins flow because in more modern speech we say what we mean in shorter sentances and words. It doesn't work well with older ways of speaking where you said everything you meant. But it is very nice.