A Handful of Shogun Inu's Handwritten Poems.

[Shogun Inu]

A Handful of Shogun Inu's Handwritten Poems.

Like the title says, this is a copy of my own personal poems.

Please read. Maybe rate if you can, and a comment or two would do me some good…

Thank you for you time.

My dear…

Listen to me angel dear…
Listen to me with no fear…
You’re the angle of the night…
Hidden away out of fear and fright…
The ones before you were jealous you see…
They couldn’t see the beauty in thee…
You’re the angle in my eyes…
You no devil in disguise…
You’re the brightness in the world you see…
You’re and angle that has come to me…
You’re the sweetness in the world…
You’re no vixen quick and quarreled…
You’re the sunshine of the day…
You’re the moon lights rays…
You’re the stars in the sky every day…
You’re the quickness in my eyes…
You’re the one I don’t despise…
You’re the splash of mourning dew…
Please listen to me… because…. I love you

Together…

Sitting alone side by side
Grasp my hand, looking at its light
Stand up and walk from park to home…
Walking slowly we shall see
The reflections of you and me
You stop in a sudden…
And I ponder on why.
Only to see you grasp night sky..
You hold your palm open
And show me the moon…
It glitters and glimmers
And soon fly away…
You tried to give me a star…
But, its alright.

Love…

Love is but a challenge…
You could hug a person and not know their desires…
You could kiss a person and never really know their heart
Love, is but a spiraling dart…
Hoping you hit true love

 

[Shogun Inu]

Yay! More poems! ^x^

The Dark Lullaby…

*Contains the same rhythm as “Hush, Little Baby”*
Hush little baby don’t you cry
Mama will sing you a lullaby
As creatures below claw and creep
The witch’s whale shocks the wind
A werewolf’s growl brings your fear
The trees will grab you with a bind
Thee vampire takes your hand
Leading you to death in his master plan
Your screams give the land joy
None of the little girls and boy
Joy is nothing in this world
With the vulture creped the witches curled
Come now baby come to me as now you can see
The world is not fine…
It will grab you in a bind…
It’s not pretty nor is fair…
But papa and I will always be there….
We’ll keep you close…
And hold you dear…
The vampires will run in fear…
We dare not fight them
Nor do we try…
Our love for you is their bide
They all hate love and peace too…
That’s why my child we bring it to you…
Hold on to this power…
Dare I say…?
Mama will be here another day…
Now, now baby go to sleep…
With the witches creped and the shadows curled…

Good night.

Lullaby and goodnight
Go to sleep my darling little angel tonight
Sleep so sound
Not a noise
Rest in peaceful dreams
Do not wake or be awoke
Sleep so sound
Let dreams take you away
Let them make you fly, touch or soar
Blanket warm pillow soft rest in a peaceful slumber
Your music box, is now slowing
And I’m sad to say my dearest angel I must be going…
Lullaby and good night
Stand in a slumber, my darling little angel…
Tonight.

Let me…

Make me real!
Make me alive!
Let me breathe air!
Let me be me out side!

Grant me my wish!
Grant me my desire!
Let me touch real fire!
Let me burn!
Let me die in the mire!

Wake up me from this dream!
Wake me from this night mare!
Let me be with you!
Let me awake!

Help me live!
Help me thrive!
Let me hear the wind in the drive!
Let me fly!

Let me soar!
Let me be free!
Forever more!

More in my journal! ^^

 

[Patron with a Mission]

I like them all...but especially the one about love.

What that poem says is very much true.  

[Mosqui]

I really enjoy the words in your poems and the vivid pictures they paint. That said, there are a few things I think you could do to improve your poetry. Take the suggestions with a grain of salt, I'm certainly not a master poet myself, so they're really just personal opinions.

1) If you choose to have a poem with a rhyme scheme, keep the scheme constant. For example:

Hi you
Stay true
Be me
Stay free

Obviously I wasn't going out of my way to create a piece of art there, just providing an example. Anyway, my point is that the above example rhymes on every line. Another example:

Happy joy
It's so great
Love the toy
Can't debate

An alternating rhyme scheme, every other line rhymes. I noticed some of your poems follow one of the above structures and then abruptly stop. It gives the poem a slightly awkward feel.

2) If you're writing a free-verse poem (such as I myself do), keep it free-verse. It looks weird when there's suddenly a rhyme cropping up in the middle of a poem that previously had no rhymes.

3) If your poem has a certain flow, stick to it. It's easy to create a long sentence to express yourself but more difficult to dissect and shorten that sentence. This time, I'll take an example from one of your poems:

Help me live!
Help me thrive!
Let me hear the wind in the drive!
Let me fly!

See that third line? It seems ill-fit to your poem. It just seems to be longer than the rest of your lines and creates an "off beat."

I'd like to follow all this up by once again stating that I think that your poems are very good, but if you want to try to work on something, my above suggestions would be it. I've probably been a hypocrite with these rules in some of my own poems, but I think that even though I do proof-read what I write, it seems easier to catch mistakes in other peoples work than my own. At least that's always been my experience. Not that I think my work is wonderful, I just think that it makes sense to me because I wrote it, and so it's harder to see the spots that need improvement.

Anyway, keep up the good work here. Hope to see more!