Lizerati: So, when it's dark and you're driving past a church, the "Worship 11am" sign looks like "Worship Ham"
<Lurker> one time my mom fell asleep on the couch, no joke, I switched it to a porn and started fwappin it. I later found out she wasn't asleep
<Lurker> sad
<Dan> your kidding right?
<Lurker> no
lab_rat_inph3ct3d: spiderman isnt the only one who gets his hands sticky on the web
<Karp> If love is a game.... where can i buy the multiplayer-version?
<GC> What does NASA stand for?
<GC> Need Another Seven Astronauts
<+Ralan> atkins works not because its a good diet, because people who are on it burn so much energy because they can't shut the ******** up about being on atkins
* Porter is now known as PorterWITHGIRLFRIENDWHOISHOT
<Strayed> he shot his girlfriend?
reaper: knock knock
SaladTongo: Who's there
reaper: banana
SaladTongo: s**t i didn't think you'd find me here
<mrphilez> how many inches is 69mm?
<GLHTurbo> let me measure my p***s
<Avram> how would that help? you have a 69mm p***s?
<GLHTurbo> yes
<_neil> 69mm = 6.9cm = 2.71"
<GLHTurbo> yes i do
<GLHTurbo> oh wait
<cgirl> Wouldn't it suck to find a dead body
<InCDeathmeister> male or female?
<Gwindor> how do you save a log?
<Rimbaud> don't flush
<Da5id> bwahahahahahaha!
<Da5id> k
<Da5id> check this stuff out
<Da5id> the sign at the student eating facility that i work at says "babcock frozen yogurt"
<Da5id> but 'babcock' is on one line, and 'frozen yogurt' is on the other
<Da5id> and there's two switches for the sign
<Da5id> now, one would THINK that one switch would be for "babcock" and the other for "frozen yogurt"
<Da5id> but no
<Da5id> one switch is for "bab/frozen"
<Da5id> and the other is for "c**k/yogurt"
<%Freakazoid> lol
<Da5id> we just closed, like, an hour ago
<Da5id> guess what the sign was left saying?
<Da5id> O=)
<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> p***y.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> p***y.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> p***y.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> p***y.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> b*****d
<KyleAFK> YESSSSSSSS; got it working
<Const> Your p***s?
<KyleAFK> YESSSSSSS!
<jre> My underwear seems to be covered with a crusty white substance. Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> what does it smell like?
<jre> Like semen
<Zeluth> you have anthrax
<jre> The carton of milk was filled with some sort of milky-white liquid. Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> How good at you are pancake making?
<jre> Terrible.
<Zeluth> its anthrax
<jre> I opened my hole puncher to find a large collection of small white discs, about the size of a hole a hole-punch makes. Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> try inserting the paper disc in your urethra
<jre> Done, but I can't get it out now.
<Zeluth> congratulations yopu just gave yourself anthrax
<jre> I just received a parcel in the mail filled with a white powder. An accompanying note informed me to "take penacilin now" and that "Allah is great". Is it anthrax?
<^Vulpix^> jre: NOPE IT ISN'T, IT'S FREE COCAINE
<isajeep> I told pagan I was purging my system and she thought I was fapping
<isajeep> wtf
<phoena>: I made the mistake of sending my husband to the store. He bought a case of Froot Loops. Fourteen boxes. I don't hate Froot Loops now, but I think I will 14 boxes from now.
<%NuttO> Yeah, kids are stupid. I open up the back of my van and say, "Hey, kid, want to see something cool?" and they always fall for it.
<Gin> Cocaine is white
<Gin> Marijuana is green
<Gin> So won't you please be
<Gin> My drug lord queen
<Gin> HAPPY VALENTINES DAY
FuzzyCrare: i'm in love with a video game character
Macross86: that's sad, pathetic, and completely understandable
<rhc> apparently it's rude if
<rhc> somebody asks if you have a light
<rhc> and you reply: "yes, but it's at the end of the tunnel"
<punkomatic> so i saw superman last nite...not only did it suck, but it was super predictable and super emotionless.
<youSuck> Well of course it was emotionless. if superman showed his super feelings, he'd be emo-man
<youSuck> lol "I'm EmoMan! my tears of Justice will destroy you!"
<Ed> Noah's Ark, bah.
<Ed> <GOD> DUDE, YOU HAVE TO LIKE... GET A BUNCH OF ANIMALS AND s**t. ALL OF THEM.
<crunchyfish> <God> Gotta catch 'em all!
<Dream Caller> CNN - Three teenagers beat a mentally retarded man to death.
<Striker> $5 says they blame it on video games
<Adventurer> Yeah we all know that popular game where you kill retards (/sarcasm)
<Thrasher> You've obviously never played counterstrike then.
<dreamwraith> Girls that think oral sex isn't really sex are so ******** in the head.
<Dest> dreamwraith: Literally.
<+Quantsini> when i say the word "ramen" what words come to mind?
* Ikari has joined #STNJ
<@[Polynomial]> instant
<ph4tkid> ninja
<+Zanshi> porn
<Ikari> instant ninja porn?!?! WHERE???!?!
<+Quantsini> ...
<aamP> i named my two goldfish 1 and 2
<aamP> because if 1 died i still had 2
<+Ethelion> i hate how busses come screaming out of no where..
<+Ethelion> it's weird
<+Ethelion> they're like ******** ninjas
<+FlameDrake> 2 tonnes of moving flureo yellow steel ninjas?
<+Ethelion> yeah
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