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You know what I hate about death, no it's not the dying. It's the amount of importance and "respect" placed upon a person once they're dead. That erks me. Here lies a man, a man who annoyed everyone he ever came in contact with. You know, that sleazy office worker, that continuesly had sex with the Mexican cleaning lady in the supply closet. Making all your paper clips sticky and unusable. The same guy who took the last bit of coffee in the pot without making a new one. The fat ******** that stoled everyone's lunch in a daily rotation throughout the work week, creating for himself a never ending buffet of consumable diversity. He never admitted it, never apologized, and was a complete d**k.
"Oh, Don't say that. Have some Respect for the dead"
Well, what the ******** for? All my life I wanted this guy to drop dead, and finally he did. And I can't be happy about it? SCREW THAT!!! This guy was a p***k. And then, the Eulogy. I hate these things. To me, all it is, is a 10 min summery of an individual's life, leaving out all the bad parts.
Here's an Example:
"Today we lay to rest a man who loved his country and saw great things for his people. A man both commanding and determine. A man whose vision was far reaching and influenced many. Artistic and outspoken, he immediately grab the attention of mankind worldwide. Today we lay to rest MR ADOLF HITLER!!!"
Almost sounded like he was a good guy for a moment there, didn't it? I think eulogies should be based on truth:
"Here lies some p***k, who was a murderous a*****e, who also had self-esteem issues, and was a mediocre artist at best. Here lies, Mr Adolf Hitler. May worms eat out his eyes and may Satan ******** him in the a** with a pitchfork"
You get a few eulogies like this tossed into the mix, and you may just get more people to attend these ******** lame a**, boring, life draining funerals.
Just an opinion, but I think most of you would agree.
Rest in Peace ********] scream
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