Only 8 days left for me of school!! I'm going crazy with excitement. I really don't look forward to all those annoying finals, signing contracts and all...I'm quite confident I'll pass all my classes and be a free bird for summer. Robinswood has been a great school for me...the format of everything keeps me interested...and I can remember the lessons even months after. I like a faster pace. 3nodding
It feels like a new chapter of my life has started. Recently I've been doing things that I have never dared to do before...the later half of this year anyways. I remember being scared to switch to a new school...I had the cloud over my head of transfering to the one closest to my house...I didn't want to experience a new environment or leave my friends so I stayed in the same district. Turns out later in the school year I was doomed to fail if I stayed, so I ended up begging to leave the school I used to like a lot. I've never been more pleased with taking control of my education than I am now.
With family and friends...I am so relaxed and confident. I'm not the most social person, independance is a HUGE part of my life...but I seem to have a knack for choosing trustworthy people who don't cling to me, but are there full force when I need them...even when I'm like...really distant to them. I'm also not nearly as shy as I was a couple years ago. Tyler's helped me develop into a self-confident, take-the-reigns kinda attitude I've never really had before. If I feel that I'm not getting something I deserve...I'll ask for it, or fight for it. I guess that sounds kind of cocky, but who cares. I'm really thriving off a burning kind of energy. I'm in control of my life and no one else can tell me what Ican or cannot do.
I'm so rediculously in control of everything, even though I don't have much. I've never been so consistantly happy in my teen years as I am right now. Tyler is the foundation of so much resounding joy....as long as I have him I can be happy. It really doesn't matter what happens to me...people could be rude or something could hurt or my family could be putting me down....and I just feel so...strong inside. I could care less what other people think of me. I like who I am, what I've become....I'm proud of my efforts and my desires. I have ambition and passion and the ability to do anything. I choose. I know who I am. I can smile and be nice to the people who try to push me down...theres just so much power and goodness that comes from believing in yourself.
Theres so much light in the world when you do whats right, or the best for other people and yourself. Doors you never knew existed open wide....things you never understood or doubted become so crystal clear. The thing that really annoys me...is that the people who are ruining their lives to be rebellious have no real concept of why they are doing it. Sure, the world..the..ehem..commercial world makes it look like such a glorious, fun thing....but when you see what the lifestyle is really like...it's horrible. It's so shallow and stupid....it drives me nuuuuuuttss. evil
It amazes me how one person can have such a huge, life-altering impact on me. One person can give you hope in all situations, faith when things are looking terribly grim....strength when you don't think you can take another step forward...the motivation and the courage to face any issue and improve it. No one has ever made me feel so free, so alive as I do when I talk to him. Theres this amazing unity, a peace and relaxation and understanding I have had with him from day one. Not to say there aren't conflicts....but we love and understand one another enough to think outisde of ourselves and really try to understand the issue and come to a happy conclusion. No matter what has happened, we stuck it out and cherish every moment as if it's our only and last. Tyler has moved the universe for me. He lives up to his words, he's ambitious and he's so caring. He takes the time to think about how I would feel about things....he's always, always there....patient and caring and supportive. I know that he'll be extremely successful in life...he's got an eye for quality, for responsibility and maturity...the trust between him and I is so strong and real. We are capable of anything. biggrin Anything is possible when you love someone unconditionally....it's wonderful, real and progressive. I love him so much...my life knowing him has been such an incredible journey...I can't wait for the rest of my life! 4laugh 4laugh biggrin heart heart
Basically...even though lots of things are going on in my life....I'm frickin happy as I could ever be. I have love, honesty, trust...an idea of the great things to come in my future....theres nothing greater than being alive! biggrin
TheTyro · Mon Jun 13, 2005 @ 02:09am · 1 Comments |