He's gonna break my heart, probably into a thousand pieces. I know that's what he's doing because I can see the guiltiness in his eyes for it. He promised we'd be together forever, but I guess forever doesn't last as long as I thought. Even though I can handle it for now I know when he actually says it, my heart won't take it anymore but for some reason I don't really care. He was a mistake, but I don't regret it.
He comes up and pulls me in his arms for what I know will be the last time. Then he raises my head so our eyes can meet and he knows what he thought before was true, so he leans down and kisses me to try to make me at least not be too depressed.
He doesn't get it though. I love him and I probably always will so instead of thinking what was supposed to be, I'll think of what we had. It might break me, but if I don't I wouldn't be able to go on. So now I'll just hold back my tears as he tries to make me understand, and I nod my head and just before he finishes I turn and walk away.
He reminded me of all we had been through, putting me into every memory all over again. He was trying to dull the pain, I know, but it wasn't working. I hear him calling after me because he still had something he wants to tell me. I even hear him running to catch up to me as I just continue to walk.
I can't show how much I'm hurting, that would let him win. He always wins against but, now this time I won't let him win. If it's the last thing I do... I will not let him win. Am I stubborn for this? Maybe.
He's caught up with me and grabs onto my wrist to try to make me turn around, but I can't because the tears have started to fall. He doesn't deserve my tears I try to tell myself, but I remember how comforting and warm his embrace was. My body disobeys my mind's commands and faces him. He takes me into his arms, and whispers in my ear.
"Let me fix it and make it go away," he says in a calm voice. At this sentence I pull away from his embrace and shake my head.
"I can't be fixed. I'm always going to be sick. I'm always going to be like this, and ... I'm never going to be worthy. I love you, yes, but I can't be fixed. I'm just a problem, and there's only one way to fix it." I told him all this with a calm expression except for the tears still falling. I pulled out the gun that had been concealed and put it to my head. "Goodbye My Dark Angel," I pull the trigger and the last thing I heard was my angel's plea.
"Raven! NOOOO!"
