If you really think about it, there really is nothing worth living for. What is the point of wasting away your days trying to find happiness and acceptance when you know you never will. I can't trust anyone. People that I thought were my closest friends betrayed me. People that I cared about more than anything showed that they really didn't care for me all that much. So I am not caring anymore. When I get my insurance back I am asking the doctor for the best meds I can get. I don't want to feel. Especially when the only thing in my life is pain. But in the end we are all alone anyway so what does it matter. The only person that can really know you and understand you is yourself and even then that sometimes isn't the case.
My dad is gone and now so is Nicole, McKenzie, and Maddox. I live in my mothers living room for crying out loud and I will never get out of debt or this cycle of unhappiness. I have to find yet another job because I can't even afford the bills I have to pay. What am I supposed to do with myself? The meds I have right now don't work. They just make me sick. I can't just up and follow everyone to Macon because I can't just turn my back on the bills like Nicole did.
What do you regret in life? Nearly everything I have done. Every step I have taken has led me down a path of disappointment and despair. There are so many things I wish I hadn't done and so many people I wish I hadn't let into my life. I wish I could just turn the clock back and be done with it all. Get out of here and start over. I want nothing more than to disappear from the life I have now and start fresh. Pretend I am someone else and live somewhere far away from here.
Fade To Black Community Member 
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