Yesterday I finally gathered the courage to visit the high school. It's taken me 3 weeks just to get up and go... redface
And you know what? BOTH the people I was most nervous about seeing didn't even show up... stressed
I haven't seen *Him* since that one day back in the beginning of December. It's been so hard to go this long.. This is the longest I've ever gone without seeing him. Gosh, I miss him so much... I don't like to talk to him online, cuz he leaves no room for conversation, and it just hurts. I want to see him in person. I like to randomly show up instead of him expecting me.. Idk... it's complicated..
So yeah, anyone could probably understand why I'm so ******** disappointed he wasn't there. Or my other friend..... cry
I guess it was an alright day otherwise... just completely awkward. I just kept thinking how close I used to be with half of them. It sucks... I miss them all. And what irony the day had! Not only did those 2 not show up, but all during Jazz Band they stood around and talked! So... I'm sure if he'd been there, we'd get to catch up. Talking to him online hurts too ******** much... so I never do it. I guess no matter what, I'll be hurting. Idk, I'm never satisfied with anything...
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