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A Year of Battle
~Siniphous Dias FireRaven
A year of strife,
Lost and confused.
Is anyone left?
Does everyone feel used?
My heart has been destroyed,
I want no one with me when I die.
Is that so hard to ask?
Not to be hugged when I cry?
The soul is ratty,
All ripped and torn.
The light shines not on it now.
It is abandoned and forlorn.
All is dark,
Nothing is right.
I have fought a year,
With all gathered might.
You left me not to die,
Holding me tighter with each cry.
Yet you said nothing to me,
Except in a lie.
Let me die alone I ask,
It is my last wish.
Let me die alone I beg,
Betray me not with a kiss.
Forgive me I beg,
Let not my troubles be yours too.
Know that I still love you,
Please do not be blue.
I want to give in now,
I really truly do.
But I’m afraid if truth be told,
What is beyond the grave?
What in life do I really fear?
What am I running from now?
What can’t I face?
After a year of war?
The answer is simple,
I can tell you true.
All I’m running from,
Is the past that shaped me now.
The past of mistrust and hate,
The past of fear and pain.
It won’t leave me be,
It is an active part of me.
Forgive me all,
That’s all I ask.
I am a paranoid pessimist,
Give me not a second glance.
Ignore me where I stand,
Cast not thought to me.
I am the stranger whom you never met,
I am the one walking the path alone.
There is nothing you can do,
Don’t admit that it was a defeat.
For the only one that failed,
Is that stranger in the night: me.
I failed only for one reason,
And only one alone.
The fact that I am closed,
And allow no one to know who I am.
So as I have said,
The fault is not yours.
And there was nothing you could do.
For the complicated reason is:
The worse I got,
The more I withdrew.
I’m at the edge of life and death,
Waiting for you to pull me back.
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