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Perspective Visualization Don't let the long words scare you. This is just where I put the fictionalized account of my days that would otherwise go in my about me. ^^


Kinzkey
Community Member
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2 comments
Clay’s POV

I looked up. It seemed as though we had made short work of Jack and his robots, again. The new little lady had managed to take out Jack. Jack struggled out of the heap of robot parts on top of him.

“Curse you, Xiaolin Losers!” he yelled. So much for him, I thought as I watched him fly away.

Amy’s POV

“Way to handle Jack!” Kimiko said.

“Nice going, little lady!” Clay said.

“I could have done better myself, but you handled it well,” Omi said. Raimndo would have said something, but was wondering how such a nice girl could give such an evil look.

“Ah, geez. It was nothing really,” Amy said, a little over come by the compliments. At that time, Amy would have never guessed that as good as she was fighting for good, she was even better fighting for evil.





User Comments: [2]
MochaMeilleure
Community Member





Wed Apr 09, 2008 @ 02:35pm


WOW.... xd


saundby
Community Member





Fri Apr 18, 2008 @ 01:10am


How do I know what Raimndo is wondering if I'm in Amy's point of view? If there's a telepathic link maybe you should say so, or try something like:

Raimndo looked like he was about to say something, but the comment died on his lips when his eyes met Amy's.

Also, overcome is one word.

Good stuff, a little more scene-building would be nice, though, to give a stronger sense of context. I feel like we're surrounded by fog. Is it dark or sunny? How does it smell? What's nearby? A few (and just a few) items to give us clues would have been nice.


User Comments: [2]
 
 
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