I've got sort of an icky feeling. Brittany is probably going to kill herself. I don't know when, but soon. I feel pretty blank about it. I'm sort of numb. It might hit me later when she actually does it. My uncle's father died, so I have to go to the funeral on Monday and thus won't be in school. Anyways...
Dear Brittany, I know that you will never see this, which is why I'm writing it. I'm scared of you. I don't know how I feel. I love the person you were before everything went downhill and I hate the person you are now. If you kill yourself, I know I won't be able to stop you and I just hope that you'll be happy. Mattie needs some company, right? Anyways... if you do die, I'll miss you, and I might be broken, but I'll try to put myself back together. You always wanted me to live a long life and suceed. I'll try. I'm praying that you find the will to live. Know that no matter what happens, you're always a huge part of my life and I care about you more than words could say. All the love in the world, Emily
PS: Please don't die. I love you so much. You're my best friend and I need you here with me.
And a note to Mattie.
Dear Mattie, Hey Matt. Look, I know you can see us all down here struggling to go on and I was wondering if you could just keep looking down at us. If you could ask God to send a bit of a miracle our way, that would be great. Brittany is probably going to kill herself and I haven't talked to Brendon in months. They need you to look out for them when I can't. I miss you. I love you. And the cross will be on my wall from now until the end of time. You know I'll always remember you, Emily
And at last, Brendon.
Dear Bren, Are you dead? I'm worried. I'm scared. Don't leave me. Prayers, Emily
Sigh.
prettybluedresses · Sat May 03, 2008 @ 05:42pm · 2 Comments |