I guess I've been well, I think. I'm sorry to everyone that I haven't been replying to all of the pm's instantly, or getting to work on designing or replying in rps. It's been busy, since school let out. Perhaps because everyone is around now? Or at least temporarily.
I still have some papers and research I need to do for my summer, extra class thing that's really not a class. House cleaning, boxing, Gaia and other small chores, reading list...I really am sorry for my slowness, but between being gone from my house and sleeping, I seem to have been missing online.
This last week or so? Well, three and a half days of camping, for one. Before that it was my kindly ex with consecutive visiting days and other friend get-togethers, that was another four days. Anyway, camping was awesome. The Book of Faces has lots of pictures of the trip, including some rather amusing, 'bad-arse' pictures of me carrying aspen around...is there anything wrong with ripping dead aspen out of the ground and carrying them back to camp for firewood? No, but apparently everyone else thought it was hilarious.
I got so badly sunburned on Wednesday, it's not even amusing. We were up in the mountains naturally, and though I did apply sunscreen, it didn't cut it. We were all going to meet up on Heartbreak Ridge; I started out a little late, and was in catch-up mode.
Herein lies the problem. I not only passed them, but overshot Heartbreak Ridge a little; I was in an 'up' mindset, so kept going up and up until I found a leveled-off plane. The top of the Ridge that traveled along the small valley, not the particular rock outcropping that cliff-ed over our campground. So an hour hike turned into a four hour one, and I made a lot of distance. Fun, as I saw such amazing wind destruction along the true part of the ridge, or rim, if you will, and these perfectly calm pools of water even in high speed winds...even what I suspect is a volcanic plug. At that point I chose to descend and make my way back to camp....and was sunburned. Yay?
Still, cold nights were worth the fireside singing and music, and all of the conversations, or even the drinking game I watched; I don't do alcohol, but watching other people gets entertaining really fast.
That was three and a half days of hiking, firewood cutting, lounging around or playing frisbee and running about with the dogs...or jumping around the river and singing. Good days. Got home and crashed for two days to dodge the majority of some bug I picked up from Summer and Hank at camp. When Philosophy Club goes camping, we really know how to get it all done in three days. Including picking up a cold.
Watched the rest of Supernatural in that time period, and I giggle over how much Sam and Dean are like I and onee-san. There is goodness there, and I'm happy I'll be waking up in the morning for a full day or two with onee-san! Someday we are going to cruise around in a '57 Impala and fight spirits and evil. Someday.
After that little bit of rest, and dealing with family, drama arose. I think everyone knows of my allergies to drama, but this was pretty serious. One of my most trusted friends I got into a lot of trouble. It wasn't intentional, and my folks didn't care naturally, but...I think I've done something to drive a wedge into our friendship and permanently damage it.
I feel bad about it...which is rare for me. Most things I can brush off or reason out of, but this time I really messed up. Likewise, I let a friendship go a little too far. Even my closest friendships may seem distant to some, and there are excellent reasons for what I do and why. Things like this happen when people get too close; disaster, angst, pain, various levels of social trouble, and finally separation. I never want these things to happen, and as a result my friendships don't go terribly deep, at least on my end...Now I'm just scared for my friend. I'm not sure I'll get to see them much anymore, if at all. I think I've lost trust, for the fact I'm the more responsible and intelligent of us two, and I really should have guessed out the scenario before it happened. I should have known better enough for us both, and been more careful. I should have kept our friendship in check.
And I failed. As of yet, I'm not sure what to do, other then now I know what to do in preventive measures to keep this from happening again, if our friendship ever stabilizes. I didn't mean to mess with anyone's beliefs, or damage dreams. I really didn't...
My week was beautiful, and I'm seeing onee-san, so it will be beautiful, but I am sad. I made a brilliantly foolish mistake, one long-coming. And I regret.
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Roleplay is life. <3
Thank you to my Tulip Anon!
Questing: 3 RTs. This is going to be a very long-term goal.
Sugar Mason!
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