I dreamed I was blond.
That's nightmare enough, but no, I was also in a family reunion. Dear Christ I hate my family reunions.
My estranged uncle had come, and of course the family ignored him, just as they do to me. He didn't seem to care. He was in the dorko Trenchcoat and goth boots eating in a corner, reminded me sort of like that one guy from Gramma's Boy only 46 years old and with huge black-rimmed glasses.
So I spent hours trying to get someone to talk to me, and no one would. Finally my uncle snapped and grabbed me by the arm and lead me out the door. No one noticed. When we were outside, he let go of me, but was leading me to his huge black truck. "What gives?" I said. "We're leaving," he said with dramatic finality. I shrugged, I was used to this tone of voice from some of my friends, and hopped in.
We went to Portland, to some unknown 24 hour cafe. I was outside half-assedly reading a paper when he asked me what I wanted to do. I said "I don't have any money." He told me he had five thousand bucks on him at that instant now what do you want to do.
"Uhhhh..." I said.. and couldn't think of anything on the spot. "Wait, how'd you get that much?" "People in the industry" "Oookay.. what industry?"
"If I told you I was an otter with a million dollars, would you believe me?" He looked at me dramatically over his shoulder. I was reminded of how much I hated Eagle vs. Shark.
He explained it as he lead me to his second large vehicle that he 'Has parked here in case he needed a getaway' that he's actually a mafia leader .. and the mafia he spoke of was the Furry Mafia.
I was so proud of myself that I didn't even hesitate, I kept talking like I wasn't about to laugh and make references from a certain Internet Hate Machine. He was dead serious. We ended p traveling all around America for some reason, and we were taken care of like he was ACTUALLY a mafia leader. I wasn't phased; I just liked room service.
At some point on our journey he reached for my hand, though. Then things got awkward.
Moral of the story: I'd rather be kidnapped by a furry millionaire uncle than go to Thanksgiving with the folks. Even if he has a crush on me.
I had a second dream, too.. something about being a boy trying to score a chick in the deep south. and it's hard to do, because I wouldn't date my sister. I had to go all the way to the next own over to find someone who wasn't my relative to date. D: AND SHE WAS BLOND TOO WHAT THE ********.
neurotikitten · Thu Jul 17, 2008 @ 08:48pm · 0 Comments |