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Pointless Monologues of a Stranger
This is my journal, I am me, and I plan to put stuff here. Isn't that fantastic?
Letter Meme:
Dear Kyle:

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike you. I think I realized it when I threw up outside of Chicago, and I saw you sit on my father. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that I did a sex change. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I will tell the authorities about a passionate interest in mice.

Go Burn,
Heith

HeithKeith
Community Member
  • 12/21/08 to 12/14/08 (1)
  • 12/07/08 to 11/30/08 (1)
  • 10/05/08 to 09/28/08 (4)
  • 09/07/08 to 08/31/08 (2)




  • User Comments: [1]
    HeithKeith
    Community Member





    Sat Oct 04, 2008 @ 08:13am


    Dear (the last person who left a comment on your journal):

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

    ___12___,
    -Your name-

    1. What's the color of your shirt?
    Blue - Our romance is over
    Red - Our affair is over
    White - I'll join the monastery
    Black - I dislike you
    Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
    Grey - You're a pervert
    Yellow - I'm selling myself
    Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
    Brown - The mafia wants you
    No shirt - You're a loser
    Other - I'm in love with your sister


    2. Which is your birth month?
    January - That night
    February - Last year
    March - When your dwarf bit me
    April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
    May - First of May
    June - When you put cuffs on me
    July - When I threw up
    August - When I saw the shrunken head
    September - When we skinny dipped
    October - When I quoted Santa
    November - When your dog ran amok
    December - When I changed tennis shoes


    3. Which food do you prefer?
    Tacos - In your apartment
    Pizza - In your camping car
    Pasta - Outside of Chicago
    Hamburgers - Under the bus
    Salad - As you ate enchilada
    Chicken - In your closet
    Kabob - With Paris Hilton
    Fish - In women's clothing
    Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
    Lasagna - At the mental hospital
    Hot dog - Under a state of trance
    None of the above - With George Bush and his wife


    4. What's the color of your socks?
    Yellow - Hit on
    Red - Insult
    Black - Ignore
    Blue - Knock out
    Purple - Pour syrup on
    White - Carve your initials into
    Grey - Pull the clothes off
    Brown - Put leeches on
    Orange - Castrate
    Pink - Pull the toupee off
    Barefoot - Sit on
    Other - Drive out


    5. What's the color of your underwear?
    Black - My best friend
    White - My father
    Grey - Bill Clinton
    Brown - My fart balloon
    Purple - My mustard soufflé
    Red - Donald Duck
    Blue - My avocado plant
    Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
    Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
    Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
    None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
    Other - The crazy monk


    6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
    Scrubs - Man
    O.C. - Emotional
    One Tree Hill - Open
    Heroes - Frostbitten
    Lost - High
    House - Scarred
    Simpsons - Cowardly
    The news - Mongolic
    Idol - Masochistic
    Family Guy - Senile
    Top Model - Middle-class
    None of the above - Ashamed


    7. Your mood right now?
    Happy - How awful I've felt
    Sad - How boring you are
    Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
    Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
    Depressed - That we're cousins
    Excited - That there is no solution to this.
    Nervous - The middle-east
    Worried - That your Honda sucks
    Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
    Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
    Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
    Overjoyous - That I'm open
    Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks


    8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
    White - Your ring
    Yellow - Your love letters
    Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
    Black - Your tame stone
    Blue - The couch cushions
    Green - The pictures from LA
    Orange - Your false teeth
    Brown - Your contact book
    Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
    Purple - Your old lottery coupons
    Pink - The cut toenails
    Other - Your memories from the military service


    9. The first letter of your first name?
    A/B - Your photo
    C/D - The oil stocks
    E/F - Your neighbour Martin
    G/H - My virginity
    I/J - The results of your blood-sample
    K/L - Your left ear
    M/N - Your suicide note
    O/P - My common sense
    Q/R - Your mom
    S/T - Your collection of butterflies
    U/V - Your criminal record
    W/X - David's tricot outfits
    Y/Z - Your grades from college


    10. The last letter in your last name?
    A/B - Always will remember
    C/D - Never will forget
    E/F - Always wanted to break
    G/H - Never openly mocked
    I/J - Always have felt dirty before
    K/L - Will tell the authorities about
    M/N - Told in my confession today about
    O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
    Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
    S/T - Get sick when I think of
    U/V - Always will try to forget
    W/X - Am better off without
    Y/Z - Never liked


    11. What do you prefer to drink?
    Water- Our friendship
    Beer - Senility
    Soft drink - A new life as a clone
    Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
    Milk - The apartment building
    Wine - Cocaine abuse
    Cider - A passionate interest for mice
    Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
    Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
    Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
    Whisky - To ruin the second world war
    Other - To hate the Boston Celtics


    12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
    Thailand - Warm regards
    USA - Best regards
    England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
    Spain - Go and drown yourself
    China - Disgusting regards
    Germany - With ease
    Japan - Go burn
    Greece - Your everlasting enemy
    Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
    Egypt - ******** off now
    France - In pain
    Other - Greetings to your freaky family


    User Comments: [1]
     
     
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