|
Today wasn't supposed to work the way it did. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
I feel traumatized.
This morning when I ate breakfast, I forced myself to eat. And I keep thinking I ate too much. I felt sick after I ate, so I went to sleep in the car.
Here we are, my dad and me, in Buena Park/Santa Ana [one of the two] when I suddenly wake up and have this feeling something is gonna go wrong. I told me dad to stop the car because I had to puke. He immediately stopped the car.
Out of nowhere in front of us, 5 cars all wreck. It was a pretty nasty wreck too. I got scared, having small trembling the whole day.
So we get home [it was a long day, this is hours later] and I decide to take a bath thinking it would relax me some. I just get my eyes closed and get confortable when I fell sick again. I jumped out of the bathtub and ran to see what my dad was doing. Pouring a glass of milk.
"Don't drink that." I said to him, the feleing persisted. He didn't want to listen. I grabbed the glass from him and chugged the milk before he could stop me. A few minutes later, I'm back in the tub, drainging the water. My dad called my name and told me that on those little banner things at the bottom of TV during shows, one said there was a milk recall. The kind of milk we bought. I felt shocked.
Then, my dog won't stop barking. My dad is getting ready to go outside, sure enough there's that feeling that something isn't right again. I told my dad not to go outside. He listens. We go out when my feeling went away, and there's this huge spider on the ground. It's web was on the other side of the doorknob, so I expect it crawled down from there. My dad could have gotten bitten!
And now I'm sitting here, I keep getting these random feelings that something isn't right, so I check on my dad and the dog and myself. I hope it isn't any of my friends, I don't want anything to happen to them.
But think about it, I just randomly get this feeling and something happens. It ranges in severity, going from really really strong [car accident] to just a small one [spider]
How can this really be true? It feels so unreal to me, and I'm the one who gets it! It feels traumatic. I'm traumatized. I can't think, I can't do anything, I'm just here.
I shouldn't be. I should have been in that car wreck when it happened. But I wasn't. No, I should have been. And even though I wasn't. That milk. Recalled. I chugged it, why am I still okay? A recall means it was tainted. Why am I still here? I can't explain that spider one, maybe it would have crawled into my room and bitten me. The point, why am I STILL here?
It just shouldn't be true. I can't be here. It makes no sense.
 nangal · Sun Oct 12, 2008 @ 06:32am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
