Sometimes I lock myself in my room and cry.
Sometimes I stay up late at night and pray that when I fall asleep I'll die.
Sometimes when I'm eating food, I'll stare at the knife on the table and wonder how long it would take for me to get to my vein.
Sometimes I watch other people eat and feel like throwing up.
Sometimes I get so scared I don't know what to do.
Sometimes when I talk to people, I want to scream.
Sometimes I wish I could just tell people I'm not right.
Sometimes I wish people would take me seriously when I tell them something is wrong.
Sometimes I wish someone would ask 'No really what's wrong?' when I say I'm fine.
Sometimes I wish people knew that I fake every smile I give them.
Sometimes I wish they knew what was really running through my head when I look at them.
Sometimes I wish I could ask them how they really feel.
Sometimes I hear that they're just trying to make me jealous. [They're trying pretty damn hard, and I'll admit it's starting to work.]
But....
ALWAYS.
I ALWAYS wish I could be normal.
I ALWAYS wish people knew and understood how I really felt.
I ALWAYS wish I could just go.
I ALWAYS wish I would have actually meant I'm fine when I say I am.
But most of all....
I ALWAYS wish they knew how I really felt.
 nangal · Wed Oct 29, 2008 @ 05:28am · 1 Comments |
