Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Ch 22: Being a Douche bag means never having to say you’re sorry

They left Gluttony and found the corresponding seal on the middle door gone. Michael touched the door on the other side and it crumpled into dust followed by a booming voice, “Only two may enter this test of teamwork.”

Michael looked among his companions and scanned them with his finger, taking the utmost care to choose the right person. “Eeny Meany Miny Mo, catch a tiger by the toe,” he resorted to that method, “if he hollers let him go, eeny meany miny mo…. Vincent!” He chose Vincent.

“Ok,” Vincent nodded and stuck his tongue out at Diamond who then took the opportunity to kick him in the family jewels. Vincent limped after Michael to the portal, Michael dove into the pool while Vincent face planted in it and was promptly electrocuted.

The voice boomed again, “two have entered!”

Michael stood in a strange room, surrounded by several paintings and mirrors to display how grandiose the room was with marble floors and golden walls and ceiling. “Wow, this is tacky,” Michael said folding his arms.

“It’s not tacky,” a busty girl said and she entered the room, she wore a jester like suit with bells on the tip of her hat that jingled every time she took a step. The jester suit had a V-neck.

“Who are you,” he asked her while his eyes were drawn to her more outstanding features.

“My name is Ren, and my face is up here,” she put her hands on her hips and tapped her feet impatiently.

“Oh, I know I just find your chest more interesting,” Michael told her and was hit by a frying pan from another girl. She wore a Jester suit with the opposite color pattern of Angelo and hers had a mid drift instead of a V-neck.

“Mia, I didn’t know you were awake,” Ren said and tilted her head.

“Yeah, let’s take care of this pervert as soon as his partner shows up,” Mia told her sister and took out two spiked batons. “Where is your partner anyways?”

“That’s a good question,” Michael said looking for Vincent.

“Hey,” Trish called out from his coat, “guess I’m your partner.”

Ren and Mia heard that “So there are two of you,” Mia said indignantly, “I show perverts no mercy!”

“We fight for all that is shiny and gold,” Ren said as her and Mia struck a pose, “we fight for love, money, to extend our reach to the class above”

“Surrender or prepare to fight,” Mia struck a pose of her own and fireworks went off behind them along with confetti falling from the ceiling for pizzazz. Michael didn’t stand there while they were doing the intro and cut Ren in half.

“The fight begins when weapons are drawn,” Michael smirked and looked up to see Ren and Mia standing next to each other. “What? Weren’t you just over here,” he asked Ren who giggled.

“Guess it won’t be as easy as you thought,” Ren giggled and saw Michael. “Stop staring,” she yelled at him.

“Sorry,” he moved his eyes up to her face.

“Be careful Michael, they’re Gemini demons,” Trish warned him.

“Care to translate?” Michael asked as he jumped away from a spiked baton.

“To beat them, you’ll have to destroy them both at the same time,” Trish told him, “otherwise they’ll keep spawning from the other one. Watch it!” she whined as the baton grazed his coat.

“Okay,” Michael said and jumped away from the twins, “easy of 3.14159265.” And yes, he did memorize that for just such an occasion. Michael reached in his coat to get his two guns but remembered that he lost them when Bishop gobbled his coat up. Michael slumped to the floor, the bird of happiness gone from his shoulder his companion was now the chicken of despair. The twins launched a needle attack to finish Michael but the penguin of ingenuity pecked at his back. Michael knocked the needles down with Nirvana and barreled towards Mia, cutting her in half with an uppercut from his sword.

“He’s gone mad,” Mia said, coming out of Ren’s back.

“He was already mad,” Trish commented.

Michael ignored the peanut gallery and spun around on his heel. “Leviathan,” he yelled and used the Leviathan soul to wrap the sisters up in the blade. “Bye bye, nya,” he waved to them with cat ears on his head and jerked Nirvana closed around Mia and Ren to destroy both of them at the same time. Nirvana retracted to its original form and glowed red as it absorbed the soul of the Gemini twins. Their soul allowed Michael to use two souls at once to give Nirvana up to eighteen new forms at the moment (unless my math sucks).

While all that was going on, the group discovered a nice large bath near Selene’s room and everyone was either resting or washing up. Vincent was sprawled out on the heart shaped bed, resting up from all the fighting. Izazu was resting in the small tub after putting a bottom in so he wouldn’t fall through the portal, only his scraggy black hair and legs were above the water as he was completely immersed himself in the hot bath, an air bubble came up periodically. Diamond and Rose were in the large bath, public bath house style, steam from the hot bath hung in the air. Diamond jumped up when she felt something bump up against her butt from underwater. Michael, completely soaked, surfaced and looked at Diamond for a moment. Diamond registered what happened and a blush spread across her face and she threw Michael into the wall on the other side of the bath, Rose scooted over to the left to avoid being hit. “Damn per-,” Diamond was interrupted by a second intruder.

“What happened,” Vincent asked, bursting in after hearing the racket and saw Diamond.

“Get out,” Diamond yelled, hitting him in the face with several thrown bath pans, then several bars of soap, an old man who was in the public bath as well, and the kitchen sink to top it off.

After the Chaos settled and the old man ran away, it turned out that Michael got turned around and went through the portal that led to the bath instead of the other one after sealing the portal in Greed. They all got patched up and headed down the door that earlier impeded them only to find it had turned to ashes by now. They proceeded down the now exposed tunnel with Michael taking the lead.

The tunnel smelled of mildew and with the only light coming from their previous room guiding them. They used their weapons to feel for the pathway and wall, a snicker went through the group when there was a heavy whump from someone hitting the wall.

He waited and the end of the tunnel in a large room with a pit in the center that gave damned souls an express trip to the silent prisons of wrath. Out of a scabbard he drew his rapier, Omega, it’s hilt had an angel wing and an inverse devil wing on it with an orb at the center of it that contained dark fire. Beelzebub pulled back his arm and lunged at Michael as soon as he came into view. Michael managed to dodge and get Nirvana up, but the battle was over as soon as it began. Beezlebub had stuck Omega through Nirvana and Michael “Ugh *” Michael fell silent.

A hairline fracture appeared along Nirvana, soon followed by more and Nirvana shattered into thousands of tiny pieces. Beelzebub pushed Michael’s body, still gripping Nirvana, into the pit. The entire confrontation had taken place in a matter of seconds so the others were in a state of shock. “How disappointing,” Beelzebub said and parried as Vincent tried to attack him, dealing with the group easily, “I at least expected a fight.” He vanished in a swarm of flies and all entrances and exits to the room were sealed off, a gas began leaking in through vents along the top of
the room. The gas wasn’t meant to kill them, it would make them wish it did.


Meanwhile in the Master’s keep, Ireul waited for Beelzebub to come back. Beelzebub came through the door just as he reformed from the fly swarm “Drink, be merry,” Beelzebub said lightly and poured himself a glass of wine.

“I can’t be merry,” Iruel growled, “you told me you went to finish them off.”

“Relax, without the demon hunter, they are powerless.” Beelzebub assured him. “And you have your three guards to make sure they don’t get near the keep.” He patted Iruel on the shoulder, who quickly hit away his hand.

“You’re light hearted because you have nothing else to lose,” Iruel folded his arms.

“I have more to lose than you know Iruel, let us just hope you don’t back out like you did before.” He referred to the civil war in heaven. “Besides, it’ll be fun to watch them get to Wrath for naught.”