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now i know what Bella felt like.... |
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i woke myself up crying, on saturday, the 29th of november, 2008
i remembered my dream.
kyle was taking me for a drive, on my 15'th birthday
he was 16 in my dream.
all of a sudden. i hear myself screaming. there is blood everywhere....
it was horrible...
i didn't know what to do.....
he was all over, shredded to peices by my ex, jonathan broude,
a were wolf
i was so scared.
then, all goes black....
i open my eyes, and see someone in front of me. it's HIM
i put my hand out to touch his face, and he vanished
i realized i'm crying. i feel like there is a hole in my chest. like when Edward leaves Bella in New Moon......
another scene, he is standing in front of me, we are in a forest,
"i can't be something i'm not. i have to go" he says, walking away....
i try to catch up to him, but it's like i'm moving in slow motion.
i fall down...i cant move, it's so painful...
i realize, he means it, and he's not coming back
i take out a knife
and i died..
i just died
or so i thought..i wake up, to see someone in front of me. its eric, and he's crying. i look around, and i see my other friends. kris is standing in the corner, silent and motionless. florrie and yajani are on the floor, just staring at the ground, thinking its the end......
and then i speak
they all look up. they all swarm around me. the boys control the others, telling them to calm down, the shush the others. then spin around. everyone leaves, and i see someone gliding - no floating- toward me. it's bethany, my best friend, who died when i was twelve. i'm crying again. she says something
"i miss you madeline. i miss you so much. and i love you. let me tell you something. he loves you. alot. just love him back. listen to your heart."
the dream fades, and i wake up, in my room on my bed. nothing is different.
i start crying. i don't know what's waitng for me. today i realized who i really loved. and i realized what i needed to do. i realized what will happen between me and kyle tommorow. but i still will be upset. i realize that. now, i must make sure he knows and he cares...
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