Anyone else notice how a LOT of my posts are at night if not in the WEE hours of the morning? Yea, I did too.
Anyway, tomorrow is New Years Eve. Guess who's going to be up until midnight, for the first time in their entire life?
That's right, I've never been up past 11:55 on any New Years Eve of my life. Pretty sad isn't it? I fall asleep, then wake up at 12:05 and think "Aww c'mon!" then go back to sleep haha. So this year, I'm thankful my insomnia will do at least one thing for me. Roflcopter.
So anyway, I'm not having any resolutions I guess. But this year will be different. I won't be the same. I'm going to just let loose of all my emotional attatchments. I'm going to try to not feel anymore pain. I'm going to have fun.
"Never give anyone the power to ruin your whole day."
Even though he wasn't my math teacher, but he did help me a lot of the time. I know I wasn't exatly the nicest to him at first, and in 5th grade I certainly was cold to his wife every now and then, but hey. That's all changed now. Thanks.
I won't be looking through the same eyes. Through the same old pair of sore eyes I've been looking through. The cold and painful ones, who only see the bleak and horrid fake in everything. I'm going to look through good ones. The ones that may still be hurts, but look through life. The wicked ones. The ones that watch the rain fall, with an air of happiness. The kind that feel laughter and cheer even at the worst times.
I don't live to serve you all. I'm living to serve me. I'm not going to care about anything or anyone else that don't deserve it. As of now, there;s only about four or five people that fit that out of everyone I know. I'm sure they know who they are, so feel pretty ******** special okay? Because I'm seriously done with all this bullshit. Everyone is critical, but the seriously dillusional critics are cunts. They know who they are too. So feel ******** special too okay? Cause I don't give a damn! xD.
"You know you're popular when people you don't even know hate you."
I'm pleased to say, I'll soon be making a list of thanks to all those people who made the unknown hate me. But for now, thanks. ;D I enjoy you being a b***h and making me popular. Wanna discuss it, I'll try not to laugh as you try to be serious. As I said, I'm not losing sleep over anything. I have insomnia, the only sleep I loose is caused my a medical disorder I can't get rid of. And medical disorders aren't that important, I have enough of those that are fine.
Also, you should just write it all down and then send it to me. So that way I can correct the grammatical errors and send it back. Those are always better. But back to those nice people I care about. Haha, anytime you wanna make a video or have a dance party or something, call me up. When my phone gets fixed I'd love to come join and have fun. If my phone's not fixed when you call, hit up my IM or myspace or something. We'll work it out just fine. We'll take random pictures of us being all dumb and such holding our breath. And at the movies, at crappy restraunts eating the weirdest crap and wondering why the hell I like ranch dressing but not ranch dip. ;D
Hell, we'll even do what I always do to randoms. We'll walk up to someone and yell, "HAVE YOU FAILED AS A PARENT TODAY?!" therun away! Go shopping and asking if we can borrow the nametags. Yes, we'll have a grand time rawring like dinosaurs and rooring like lions whilst strangers give us scared looks.
"Well, life isn't fair sometimes. Life's a game of poker and I don't know how to play poker."
Haha sure. I've had my ups and downs. But you know what, I guess I'm on a scary tilt-a-whirl/rollercoaster/cyclone/bungee jump/elevator/earthquake inducing/no voice from screaming/vomit producing death traps. And the only way to get off of the death trap, is to in fact, give in and die. Ahh well, I rather like it. Cause you know something, I found out that greif is there. Not everyone's first choice as a friend. Hell, it wasn't my first choice either. But I wouldn't have it any other way now, I'm so used to being able to feel the greif whisper in my ear that there's no worries and it'll hug me safe. Many people ask for happiness to sheild them, but you know why that doesn't work? Because happiness is no longer happy when you're sad.
Greif is. Greif can be happy and sad. Greif can be emotionless and let you pick. But no matter what, it can't leave. It stays with you. So neenerneenerneeeeeeeener to all those faggots who have the other emotions. I have the best ******** one in the world evar!
"|A|P|P|L|E|S|A|U|C|E| Still my anti-drug."
XOXO
 nangal · Wed Dec 31, 2008 @ 07:10am · 0 Comments |
