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Dearest Eric,
I'm not sure if this is my last letter to you. I do love you dearly, and pray onr day you'll love me just as much.
but I can not keep looking at your back, waiting for you to turn and look at me. I'm not one to just wait. You know I am not patient. And now there is someone who is in love with me, and there is someone who is closer to your heart than I am.
So what am I to do? Just wait for this person to take my place, and I just cry alone? AM I good for nothing, but your entertainment? What am I to you? Just a lost girl from your past?What is it? Please tell me. Let my heart break even more, so I may die.
I don't want to live in a world where you are with someone lese. You;ve always been there when I needed you most, but now, when I need you to hold me, reassure me, you won't even try. I keep saying to myself you will. Right now, I need you.
Tears keep flowing, and I can't keep going on like this. Keep me as yours or thow me away. Pick one soon. I can't stand to wait.

And If I am not to be yours, I can not bear to see you on Novemenber the 6th. I can not be around you that day, knowing I am not yours, and that we are not together. That would break my heart, and there would be no point in seeing you. I love you, and I know that much is always so true. I want only you, or no one.
To see you on the day we decided to be together isn't something my heart can handle.

We are together, or I have to try and forget. But can never forget you. I don't ever want to forget you.
I am tired of crying on the phone, I'm tired of Jacob being the one to give me hope that you will love me back just as much. I'm tired of praying that you will say you are inlove with me too. I'm trying to take it, but I can not take much more.
I know I deserve this pain, this heart break, for what I have put you through. I can feel my heart dissolving into nothing. God kill me.
You can not make someone fall inlove with you. You either feel it or you don't there is never an inbetween. I can not get any older. I am 18 years of age. I am childish because I am inlove. True love does that to people. And its enought to be happy knowing that the person you are inlove with is inlove with you too.
A single tears drop...thats all I have, and the more I think of you, The more pain I go through. Not knowing if you'll ever be nin love wiht me again. Is there someone else right now?
I'm so afraid you've fallen for Natalie, but I've been too afraid to ask. I hate hearing about her, and that just makes me want to die when all you mention in the begining is her. I juust can't stand talking to you when you bring her up. I don't want to get off the phone with you, yet I'm pleading in my heart that no woman's name would come from your lips.
What more begging could I do to have you be in love with me, like I am with you. I have to wait, but I just can't You are either inlove with me, or you are not. Thats just it. There is no falling again. You are either there are or you aren't. I'm constantly thinking you'll never return my feelings.
I have no will, when there is no you. I've built my life around you. And now I have nothing. No hope No changce of ever having a life. I promised to keep goinf because of a friend, but I won't be living, I'll just simple be.
Eric, Please, find happiness. I want it to be me that you say you are inlove with, but how can I? I feel like you are already beyond me grasp, and I can not force you to smile at me and say "It'll be okay. I am in love with you."
How can you? You are or you aren't. You say 'I love you too' yet it is like I am Nina or Beth. Am I just another friend at the table?
What can I do to make things right? I can't. I can only live for the here and now. And right now, you don't feel for me, like I do for you. I have nothing good to give you. Only my undying love, my heart and soul. And all that I can do for you. I'm not good at anything but my writting. I'm a crybaby, and I suck at anything that could be useful for you. And I've been trying so hard to be there. I don't mind if you aren't always there.

I'd go and do anything to make you happy. Even at the cost of my life. PLease, help me, just a little. I don't want to lose you. I want to be your wife. I want to be the only woman for you.

I want a house in Japan with little ones ofr our own. I want to wake up everymoringing with you next to me. I want a cute little panda kitty. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't live with you.
Eric, I love only you. And that should be enough. I couldn't, I can't love anyone else. I know I was meant to be with you.
And I'm crying right now, in the middle of class. I can't make it stop. I feel so alone when I'm not yours. I don't want to be with anyone else. I just want you to be the only one for me. Please if this doesn't prove my love, and oddly enough maturity, then I don't know what will ever.
I know you said to make a life outside of you, but I just can't. You said to make all my dreams into reality. My dreams are alwasy around you. Youa re the one dream I'd do anything for. My one true dream.
My dremas, and hopes my wants, desires even fantisies are all about you.

I want to go through pains, losses, dispairs, joys, hopes, and happiness with you. My moments of sheer joy come true because you are there. And that you were inlove with me.
I want you to be the only man I marry. ((man this is long)) I have so many dreams I want to come true. And I strived for them because you were there I rpay you will always be there. Not just as my friend, but as my husband. Okay there is more, but I'll let you have the rest later. I'm outties from here. I hope you enderstand me more. I'm not just a child. I'm a woman with a heart full of dreams and memeories that I want to share with no one but you.